The book, 40 Great Lessons Marriage has taught me" by Pastor Jane Arowolo is a resourceful book that helps you to discover the unrealistic expectations which
couples bring into marriage, the challenges of young marriages, how to
overcome differences, having a smooth relationship with in-laws, how to
keep the fire of love burning and many other secrets to marital bliss.
The 78 paged book opens with an introduction with three questions that define the experience of couples in marriage. According to Mama Jane Arowolo, everyone should define marriage based on:
These questions determine your experience in marriage.
All 40 lessons are arranged into ten chapters, with each chapter treating four lessons. The first chapter talks about sex for newly weds, sex during Pregnancy and the real definition of romance.
No great marriage exists without great sex. Also sex can be made out of duty and can be made as a result of love. We also learn that if you expect love in your relationship, you have to always give love.
Like sex, money is important for fruitful romance. It is a fantasy to go into marriage without expecting some changes.
That nothing will change when you get married is a lie. That everything will change when you get married is a bigger lie. Learn to change what you can change and accept what you cannot.
Five love languages are important. Know what works for you and your partner.
In-laws are family. You must treat them as such. If you expect perfection from people, you will get frustrated. Don't go to marriage with a pepper lifestyle or plans to deal with any in-law. Character is ultimate when dealing with in-laws
A man's ego is as fragile as a woman's heart.
A woman is not wired to carry the financial burden of a family. She is a helper and not a sponsor. If a woman carries financial burden, that becomes a quick way to lose your honour as a man.
Patience will change many things.
Your partner is a work in progress. Don't go into marriage with unrealistic expectations.
Somebody lacks what you have. Stop comparing your relationship or marriage with another's. -2nd Corinthians 10:12
The two golden rules are in Ephesians 5:22-23 and verse 25 respectively. When a marriage fails it is a sign that the rules have been disobeyed.
Reciprocate respect
Family is Royalty. There is a king, a queen, princes and princesses. Learn humility in royalty.
There is also honour in royalty
Love is hard work. You need almost no effort to fall in love but you need so much effort to stay in love.
You must fall in love again and again with each other. You must also evaluate your relationship.
When children start growing, know that they are watching your steps and will likely walk in it.
You must determine to give the best impression and help them become better spouses in future.
A woman is fragile
Communication is the best way to handle conflicts. Don't stop talking.
Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.
Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages
Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.
Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages
Instructions are never convenient but they are always profitable.
Variety is the spice of life as William Cowper's poem, "The Task (1785)" puts it. Introduce new and exciting practices in your relationship. Get rid of routine and explore
With godly wisdom, bring new wine to the table of your relationship.
A woman is an administrator
There are three seasons in the life of a man. Morning, noon and evening. Treat the wife of your youth with care and love so that you last till evening and enjoy the benefits of building a godly home.
The fear of God in you guides your actions towards your spouse/partner. Unresolved conflicts will not make you enjoy God's presence in your relationship/marriage. God's presence detests strife and contention.
In marriage, God answers every cry for help. Learn the art of prayer. War with prayer!
The best time to pray is when all is going smooth. A farmer who starts planting while others are harvesting will stay hungry. He will have to wait until those seeds germinate before he can eat.
There is no marriage in heaven. Your marriage can work out fine. Do not look at the failing marriages around you. Just do your part and let God bless your marriage.
The second chapter talks about Romance and finance, Romance and child nursing, the principle of opposite sides attracting and the love language of spouses. On the other hand, chapter three goes on to talk about dealing with in-law and how life is a farm that obeys the law of sowing and reaping. She also writes about refusing to fight for yourself.
In chapter 4, mama Jane talks about feeding the man's ego and knowing how far to go as regards certain issues. She also discuses the subject of domestic violence and the best way to teach. Chapter 5 goes on to tell is how a wife is a helper and a sponsor. Here, mama Jane Arowolo says that a woman should not fully take on the financial responsibility of the home. She also talks about how patience is a virtue and that your spouse is a work in progress. She ends this chapter saying that somebody lacks someth]ng you have.
In chapter 6, mama Jane talks about the greatest assignment in marriage. She then proceeds to talk about the two golden rules in the book of Ephesians. After this, she opens our eyes to 5how respect is reciprocal and that wisdom and knowledge are really needed in every marriage.
Chapter seven opens with the concept of royalty. It discusses how the man is a king in the palace and the woman is a queen in the palace. It also talks about how love is hard work and ends with the fact that your children (when they start coming) are always watching you.
In chapter 8 we learn that women are fragile and that men should learn to deal with it. We also. See a different side to handling conflicts and the need for a worthy mentor in your relationship or marriage. It finally discusses how rk be a woman without feeling cheated (shunning the extremist views of feminism)
Chapter 9 talks about variety being the spice of life and the need to avoid a boring relationship at all cost. To do this, you simply need to think. Out of the box and bring up. Exiting things, build. Memories and engage activities to make your relationship or. Marriage beautiful. This chapter then talks about the old. And new. Wine and the need for constant new, fresh Wine in your relationship or marriage. She then proceeds to talk about women being the best administrator in a marriage or relationship and how that there are three seasons in the life of a man (with specific emphasis on the evening of a man's life).
She concluded with chapter ten talking about the need for the fear of God and the presence of God in every relationship or marriage. She also talks about prayer, the greatest weapon in marriage and how that as believers, you. Must live your fullest in your marital life because there is no marriage in heaven...
This book is a true testament to the fact that God is still very interested in building perfect relationships and families. The author, Pastor Jane Arowolo (popularly called mama Jane) has a mandate to teach what it takes to succeed in marriage. She is a graduate of Public Administration from Ambrose Alli University and has been into active ministry for over 18 years. She is a co-pastor at Glorious Dynamos Life Ministry and the Vice President of Success and Life Network. She anchors "Direction for Singles and Married", "Ladies and Gents Conference", "Just4Ladies", "When Mother's Pray" and "Daughter's of Zion". She is happily married to her best friend, Apostle Wale John Arielle and their union is blessed with three covenant men.
To get your FREE copy, kindly click here to download or click on the download button below.
The essence of playing games as a couple is to have activities that always bring you together. With nothing bringing you together, your significant other will gradually become insignificant. Hence, the constant need to stay connected. One of the ways to foster quality connection between you and your significant other is to create time for each other irrespective of your tight and busy schedules.
The essence of this article is to ease the stress of thinking back and forth on how best you should spend your time together, or what to spend your time with your partner doing. This article discusses ten (10) fun and exciting games you can play with your partner even when you are miles apart.
You can choose to play the games with other couples onsite or online. If you decide to play the game online due to the distance between you and your partner and you also decide to play the game with other couples, can create a common group for all of you either on WhatsApp, Telegram, or Facebook where essential information about the game will be discussed before the start of the game.
If you and your partner are the types who enjoy playing large and having a good time on a larger scale, you can make your game nights/days even more enjoyable by choosing platforms where your games are more open to a broader audience. It'll resemble a reality show. Twitter spaces, Clubhouse, Instagram Live, and Facebook live can all be used to do this. You can invite random couples to participate or keep it closed to just you and your couple buddies.
Try to explore all your options and do what works best for you, most of these games are simple and there are a few on the list for real gaming enthusiasts too. Without further ado, let’s dive straight into the games.
Read: How to Manage Exes in Your Relationship
This is an age-long game played among friends and couples. The rule of the game is to take turns on who is to ask the question truth or dare. Turns can be taken onsite by spinning a bottle or randomly if the game is being played online. The person whose turn it is has to pick “Truth" or "Dare"
Picking "Truth" requires you to give a totally honest answer to a question asked by one of the players while Picking "Dare" requires you to carry out whatever action you're dared to, failure to do so means disqualification.
This is one game you have to play with an open mind, each person has a limited number of "lives" let's call it that for the sake of this article, a statement is read out from a source, could be the internet or the players could come up with their own, so, for instance, the statement is "never have I ever gotten drunk" every player who HAS gotten drunk loses a life, anyone who HASN'T retains their life, the last player with lives left after a series of questions wins the round. In a game like this you can easily get to find out things you probably didn't already know about your partner, try not to take things personal, see it as a chance to get to know them a little better, and have discussion topics for later.
Read: Top 10 Restaurants in Ebonyi for Lovers this Valentine’s Day
This is quite simple and would be really fun for music lovers, one of the players says the lyrics to a song, and the player whose turn it is would be expected to correctly finish the lyrics, you might know the song or you could guess what it could be and find out if you're psychic.
This is another game that could make you and your partner burst into laughter now and then. To play the yes or no game, a simple and direct question that is supposed to have the answer YES or NO will be asked but you are not allowed to answer the question with either YES or NO.
For instance, if you ask a question like “did you fall in love with me at first sight?” a normal answer will be YES or NO but for this game the player is required to answer by saying something like, “from the first time I set my eyes on you, I knew that you were the one for me” or “oh, it was after we became
friends and got a bit closer”. Now, the game gets more fun and intense after the first question because you are to keep asking questions that require them to reply either yes or no without giving the player time to think about it. So, you can follow the first question with “did you say you just fell in love with
me at first sight.” and “did you think I was beautiful” or “were we sitting close to each other when we met” and you can go on and on and on until the person finally answers a question with either yes or no. The person who lasts the longest without saying any of these words (Yes or No) wins the game.
This game would be enjoyed by couples who see movies a lot. Depending on what you have access to, it might be a short clip, a picture or you can say out loud a statement from a movie and your partner will be required to guess the movie where the clip, picture, or statement was gotten from.
This game is really popular and you have probably seen it done in movies when a family is on a road trip or vacation but
it doesn't always require players to be in the same space, I think
playing this game when you're in a different space than your partner adds to
the excitement and fun, you get to really think about where your partner could
be and what they could be looking at. In "I spy" a player says "I spy with my little eye, something..." then leaves a clue about what they're looking at, the clue could be a color, shape, or both, players set the rules and can have all the fun they want for as long as they want.
I'm a terrible liar so I probably would be terrible at this one, the game requires you to make three statements about yourself, two of them should be true and one should be a lie, the aim is to make the lie sound as convincing as possible or at least not obvious and the other player or players have to try to figure out which of the statements is false.
This or that is a simple game that helps you know a person's preferences, it's really straightforward: two options are given by one player say "strawberry or chocolate" and the other player or players simply pick one over the other. You might've thought your partner or friend loves strawberry ice cream just to find out they're actually mad over chocolate, makes for a good laugh and conversation and gives you a little more insight into your partner or the other players.
This game is one of many classic car racing games and has different versions some of which have multiplayer capabilities. If you and your partner are car lovers of just like a good healthy competition then you'll enjoy this.
Set up your cars how you like and see how your racing machine and skills compare to your partner's, take on different challenges, events, and race tracks, and don't be scared to rub it in your partner's face when you leave them in your dust, I'm kidding, don't take the bragging too far.
The mobile version of this game has gained traction over the last few years, call of Duty is a multiplayer game that can simply be summarized as teams taking each other out to achieve an objective or till there is only one team or player left. The game allows teammates to communicate with each other during matches so you can strategize, experience each other’s reactions, or just have good conversation while playing. There are loads of ways you can play games like these and they tend to pull pure undiluted reactions from players especially in heated moments while playing. There are several ways a couple can enjoy this game together, here are a few suggestions; build each other's load-outs, have a kill race, give each other in-game challenges and play with another couple as a team or against each other to spice things up.
Remember these games are all aimed at helping you get closer with your partner, get to know each other better, and create fun memories together irrespective of the difference in your location. You can decide to have all the fun you want while
playing any of these games. Also spice things up and make them
work for you. I hope to see you in the comment section where you can share with
us your favorite of all 10 games. Also, feel free to share new and fun games
that couples can also play in the comment section.
Communication in Your Relationship The essence of playing games as a couple is to have
activities that always bring you together. With nothing bringing you together, your significant other will gradually become insignificant. Hence, the constant need to stay connected. One of the ways to foster quality connection between you and your significant other is to create time for each other irrespective of your tight and busy schedules.
The essence of this article is to ease the stress of thinking back and forth on how best you should spend your time together, or what to spend your time with your partner doing. This article discusses 10
fun and exciting games you can play with your partner even when you are miles
apart.
You can choose to play the games with other couples onsite or online. If you decide to play the game online due to the distance between you and your partner and you also decide to play the game with other couples, can create a common group for all of you either on WhatsApp, Telegram, or Facebook where essential information about the game will be discussed before the start of the game.
If you and your partner are the types who enjoy playing large and having a good time on a larger scale, you can make your game nights/days even more enjoyable by choosing platforms where your games are more open to a broader audience. It'll resemble a reality show. Twitter spaces, Clubhouse, Instagram Live, and Facebook live can all be used to do this. You can invite random couples to participate or keep it closed to just you and your couple buddies.
Relationship Gist (Things You Should Talk About In Your Relationship)
Read: 5 Tips to Help You Build a Better Relationship
Try to explore all your options and do what works best for you. Most of these games are simple and there are a few on the list for real gaming enthusiasts too. Without further ado, let’s dive straight into the games.
Remember that these games are all aimed at helping you get closer with your partner, get to know each other better, and create fun memories together irrespective of the difference in your location. You can decide to have all the fun you want while playing any of these games. Also spice things up and make them work for you. I hope to see you in the comment section where you can share with
us your favorite of all 10 games. Also, feel free to share other fun games that couples can also play in the comment section.
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