While it is true that there are many things that can help a relationship grow stronger, there can only be a better summary for them all. This is why we have these three PS to cover everything that you need to grow your relationship.
There’s nothing as sweet as hearing your partner tell you sweet things about yourself. It’s so sweet and it's better than hearing it from someone else. If you have watched Laju Iren's mini-series titled "During Ever After”, you would discover that the absence of that singular act caused a lot in their marriage. This is why you can just steal someone when you tell them something about them that their partner doesn’t.
You don’t need to wait till you have so much money to pamper your partner. A gift in Data, airtime, money, etc as little or much as you can would do. Partners should not be stingy, thus helping each other to feel valuable.
When you’re broke, you should still give. That should be how much they mean to you. Pamper them with the things they need and the things that matter to them.
Please, pray, even if you’re single. You can possibly have a special prayer journal for them where you write and speak words into their lives. The truth is, if you are wrong with anything, it cannot be with prayer.
One of the many things about prayer is that when it's effects come to happen in your relationship, you won’t be surprised because you have prayed about it before now— you’d just keep reaping the fruits.
Many relationships fail because they do not put these things in place rightly. When you do, then, you would deserve its success. You won’t be confused and things would come easier than you thought.
Lessons from Singlehood
Being Single is a complete learning
season in the life of a man. It comes as a gift and must be lived to its
fullest. This is why it follows extreme wisdom to handle properly, what
singlehood entails.
One basic lesson learnt in single hood is
the knowledge that you must walk into God’s plan and be ordered into
what He’s ordained for you. The season must be maximised because when it
wraps up, no one can turn back the hands of time. Enjoy it while it
lasts. There’s a time to be single and a time to be married.
Before
you say, “I do” Understand that as a lady, you’re first the BRIDE OF
CHRIST before you’ll become the WIFE OF A MAN. Isaiah 54:5 same for the
guys. When the Scriptures admonish us to LOVE GOD…it is enough to make
us have good relationships, in loving God you will fall in love with
yourself, and only then can you love people as you should. The Holy
Spirit gives us the capacity for divine love.
Before you say, “I
do” Learn to be whole and secure. Sweethearts, you’re not defined by
your marital status. Your life doesn’t start or begins the very day you
start a relationship or get married, it has started since yesterday when
you had your first cry. So hope for love, pray for love, wish for love,
dream for love, but never dare put your life on hold for love. Your
identity is not found in your relationship status but who you are in
Christ Jesus.
Before you say, “I do” find true happiness in your
life. Don’t wait for a mate to make you happy. Of course, two is better
than one and your partner must be such a shoulder to lean on yet you
must be a happy somebody. I shared with our married daughters that no
husband can fulfill the ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives. You
must learn to be happy. Happiness is said to be a choice, this is the
pathway to fulfillment in life and marriage.
Before you say, “I do” learn to build and enjoy friendship with your immediate family, friends, and neighbours.
A
romantic relationship is not the only relationship you need in life. We
are social beings, learn how to relate, and tolerate people. Social
intelligence is very important. I watched a very hot-tempered lady
fighting her little sister with harmful objects. In annoyance, she left
for her fiance’s house and said angrily, “When am I leaving my Father’s
house?” #smiling She thought getting married is a way of escape.
Before
you say, “I do” Find a meaning to your life and get busy with it.
Explore your talents and gifts, go after your interest and passion. What
should you start doing? Stop delaying/postponing it. I dare you to
start being a blessing to lives.
Before you say, “I do” God
wants you to learn SELF-CONTROL. I know what it means to have urged as a
single lady sometimes it gets so tense I had to pray in tongues. Why
would God put this urge in my body when I am not allowed to have sex
before marriage? It is to teach us self control. I and my husband have
had times on the mission field where we couldn’t act husband_and_wife
for a Month. #NoShow and we were good. Train your body.
More so, marriage doesn’t solve all your sexual issues/problems, please seek counsel and get healed before tying the knot.
Before
you say, I do” embrace a mentorship relationship and be accountable to
people who have spiritual authority over you. My husband was having
counselling sessions with a married woman who reported how unruly her
husband has been. Hubby asked her to report him to his parents, pastor
or mentor to which she replied, “He doesn’t listen to ANYBODY and he has
no mentor”
Who is your Father?
Prayerfully submit to a mentor.
Build quality Relationships… Family, friends, etc
Before
you say, “I do” learn financial prudence. Who wants to marry a man who
gambles with money? Who wants to marry a lady whose life investment is
in a shopping spree?
Give yourself a nice treat but learn how to
manage your finance. You’re not too old to have a piggy bank, savings,
and investment schemes. Start learning how to draw a scale of
preference/priority. Cut down unreasonable spendings.
Before you
say, I do” understand that your marriage is all about the KINGDOM. Your
marriage is ordained to be a blessing. There’s a lot God will achieve
through the union of two people who are sold out to His Kingdom. God
wants to model a GODLY MARRIAGE to the world, He needs your marriage as a
Model. Be purposeful about your relationships.
First, make sure you are confident and have a clear idea of what you want to ask the lady out for (i.e. a date, a coffee, etc.).
Approach the lady in a polite and respectful manner, and introduce yourself if you have not met before.
Compliment the lady on something you find attractive or interesting about her, such as her smile or her style.
Ask if she would be interested in going out with you. Be specific about the details (e.g. "Would you like to grab a coffee with me this weekend?").
Be prepared for rejection, and handle it gracefully if it does happen. Thank the lady for her time, and wish her well. Do not push for an explanation or try to change her mind. You can read our article here on Why Christian Ladies reject/refuse Relationship Proposals
A breakup is simply the failure of a relationship. On the surface, breakups are initiated by either parties in the relationship.
2. Emotional healing.
3. Maturity work out
Being bossy: Pride and lack of consideration is the main cause of this. A bossy man would always impose all his opinions on his woman. This act of being too bossy makes your woman looks like a slave to the relationship. It is normal and a good thing for a man to lead but not to command. So if you want to be a good man erase every mentality of commanding your wife. By so doing you have subjected her to slavery and not a relationship. So lead your relationship and let your woman follow the lead. And someone would ask me that but a leader is meant to command yes but a good leader only gives order and does not force it.
MISINTERPRETATION OF WOMEN EXPRESSION AS EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL: Most men end up taking women painful expression especially the cry of a woman as deceit. Women naturally are weak and easily get pained when being hurt. That is when you see the emotional ones among women crying while being hurt by anyone.
LACK OF PATIENCE: Most men are the victim of this. The word patience simply means The content to wait if necessary; not losing one's temper while waiting; not bothered with having to wait; not unwilling to wait. This is so much applicable to when most guys are trying to ask a lady's hand in the relationship. From my own experience most time whenever guys ask me out, I discovered they always like fast response which has a lot of danger in it. Most guys stop to talk to ladies the moment the lady says let's be a friend first. I recommend one of my seminars to people of that category: RECOMMENDED PREREQUISITE FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE. Unless if the intended relationship is based on just a fling.FEMALE WEAKNESSES
LACK OF UNDERSTANDING: Most ladies have a shallow understanding of life, how to spice up their relationship, even lack the understanding of their man, which has killed the vibes in most relationship today.
One of the lack of understanding some still lack is to assume that the only and best way to spice up a relationship is with sex and romance. Understanding how to relate and interact with your man is one of the things that keeps your relationship alive and not dead or a dormant one.
Some ladies also lack to understand that men cannot always be financially buoyant. Some ladies even go to the length of comparing her relationship with her life cycle to her friend's own due to the lack of understanding.
Some ladies do not know when their man is happy and unhappy. Some refuse to understand and know when to talk and keep quite. Some don't understand when to ask questions and when to give responses.
How can one win a lady's heart?
1) Be her best friend
2) Know what makes her happy, do it for her
3) Know what makes her angry always try to avoid it
4) Ask her on a neutral ground does she like your type of person.
5) Find out her taste, are you her taste?
6) Does she like your personality?
In 1st Timothy 6:10, the Bible says that the love of money is the root of all evil. However, money in itself is a requirement to successfully live the good life that you desire and your relationship is definitely included in that good life.
3. Discuss your money goals together
If you want to be serious about financial progress, you have to set goals. Starting an investment plan, together or individually, is a good way to realize your financial goals in a rewarding manner. If you don’t have financial goals you are building up for already you can set one and review on subsequent money dates. For reviews, you would both get to assess how well you are doing with your commitments and how to improve if there is a need to.
You can set up a joint savings account with your loved one, using Circles.
Read: How to Manage Exes in Your Relationship
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