While it is enough for you to know God, you must also assure yourself that God is with you in your relationship. Assure yourself that God does not fail and that your relationship will be a success. He definitely wants the very best for you and your partner just as He has declared in His word in Jeremiah 29:11
You also need to determine to make the relationship work. There is a position of collective work in every relationship. Just as Paul writes in 1st Corinthians 3:6, there is a need for individual efforts alongside God's grace to hold a relationship together. Your relationship is a product of your efforts to sustain it and should turn deaf ears against any form negativity. When partners put in this determination to make their relationship work, they can fight any breakup scares together.
There is also a need to sew your garment where it's torn. In every relationship, you gradually get to know certain basic things about your partner and can tell whether or not it is sufficient to cause a break up in your relationship. When you find out these loopholes, you can call your partner's attention to it and ensure that they work on these tears in the relationship.
With all of these, we still assure ourselves that God's word stands at all times. His word spoke life to our relationship and only His word can turn off that life. It is also true that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, but at the same time it is only a successful relationship that can yield into marriage. Put all hands on deck and shut out every form of negativity and you will not experience a breakup.
Our generation has seen and gone through a lot that true love and commitment seems like a facade to anyone who hears it. Family is also becoming a thorn to young people out there who want to be independent at the slightest opportunity they get. Many people have seen through life that they would question true love and be very sensitive to the slightest things. They probably say that a happy couple is faking it or “you don’t know what they are going through” because there’s an image that makes us believe people can’t be genuinely happy in a relationship. Also, we somewhat try to see it like someone has to meet up with the other because we are scared to go the extra mile so as not to be seen as cheap or the one who’s doing the most. Meanwhile, when Jesus died for us in this love relationship, He was doing the most.
Of a truth, not everyone is happy. People go through abusive relationships and still appear happy but there are still people who go through really sweet relationships and have the time of their lives.
We need couples who would actually show these things without fear of it ending in tears because it actually won’t. As such, if you see people happy and posting their pictures and telling you how beautiful life has been for them, before you question whether they are happy or not, celebrate and possess your possession before your thoughts possess something else for you. People are genuinely happy. You might have seen something different in your life but you can actually choose to write your own story of love and secure your happiness.
Read If Every Day was Valentine
Finally, if you’re in a relationship and scared to flaunt your partner (not because it’s not your thing but) because you think it would end in tears, ask yourself first if that’s the plan. If it’s not the plan, you should read our article here on how PDA is scriptural. Flaunting your partner is one sign of a happy relationship (although it happens otherwise too). You must know that you can be happy in your relationship and it truly depends on you.
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Your previous relationship has a way of projecting your fears into the future. This is why many ladies today begin to doubt any guy that comes their way. Many times, they do this because they the want to be sure of the guy's intentions, plus they "don’t know who is who". Some are just sacred of commitment or heart break and not just because their heart had been broken before. The follow signs of knowing if he truly loves you whether he says it out loud or not. Well, you all ought to be warned that these signs are not totally it but it could really be of help to all ladies
If a guy listens attentively and almost always remembers what you say, it certainly means that he is into you. This also makes him not to forget your special days. Never. Also, since he listens, you already realized that he knows everything about you not excluding
the littlest details. This should tell you that he is interested in your
life.
He uses the term “we” or “ours” in place of “I” or “mine” while communicating (and the catchiest thing is that he doesn’t even realize it).
He respects you in all manners you could think of.
5. He takes care of your needs and treats you like his baby.
6. He cannot stay mad at you for long no matter the reasons even if you tease him or fool around him.
7. He becomes your special advisers at certain points in times.
8. He readily swallows his pride and apologizes after a fight.
9. He stands a bit too close or wraps his hands around you when you are talking to some other guys.
10. He loves to hear your opinion when making important decisions about his own life which at times you think is none of your business.
11. He joins to laugh you when you are having a good laugh with others.
12. He loves spending time with you when you actually thought he is trying to be helpful which is however true also.
He is quite protective of you. This doesn’t mean he fights every other interested guys but means he always love to know you are safe no matter where you are. In this case, you sometimes see that he instinctively holds your hands while you're in public to show that he cares.
14. He makes a lot of effort to be liked by your friends and family.
15. 16. He talks a lot as he really wants to keep you updated and informed about the happenings in his life such as discussing his plans, his work-mates habits, how annoying his friends can be, what he didn’t really like that you did, and many more. He loves you which is the reason why he opens up to you easily while you think you’ve got a guy as your best friend.
The book, 40 Great Lessons Marriage has taught me" by Pastor Jane Arowolo is a resourceful book that helps you to discover the unrealistic expectations which
couples bring into marriage, the challenges of young marriages, how to
overcome differences, having a smooth relationship with in-laws, how to
keep the fire of love burning and many other secrets to marital bliss.
The 78 paged book opens with an introduction with three questions that define the experience of couples in marriage. According to Mama Jane Arowolo, everyone should define marriage based on:
These questions determine your experience in marriage.
All 40 lessons are arranged into ten chapters, with each chapter treating four lessons. The first chapter talks about sex for newly weds, sex during Pregnancy and the real definition of romance.
No great marriage exists without great sex. Also sex can be made out of duty and can be made as a result of love. We also learn that if you expect love in your relationship, you have to always give love.
Like sex, money is important for fruitful romance. It is a fantasy to go into marriage without expecting some changes.
That nothing will change when you get married is a lie. That everything will change when you get married is a bigger lie. Learn to change what you can change and accept what you cannot.
Five love languages are important. Know what works for you and your partner.
In-laws are family. You must treat them as such. If you expect perfection from people, you will get frustrated. Don't go to marriage with a pepper lifestyle or plans to deal with any in-law. Character is ultimate when dealing with in-laws
A man's ego is as fragile as a woman's heart.
A woman is not wired to carry the financial burden of a family. She is a helper and not a sponsor. If a woman carries financial burden, that becomes a quick way to lose your honour as a man.
Patience will change many things.
Your partner is a work in progress. Don't go into marriage with unrealistic expectations.
Somebody lacks what you have. Stop comparing your relationship or marriage with another's. -2nd Corinthians 10:12
The two golden rules are in Ephesians 5:22-23 and verse 25 respectively. When a marriage fails it is a sign that the rules have been disobeyed.
Reciprocate respect
Family is Royalty. There is a king, a queen, princes and princesses. Learn humility in royalty.
There is also honour in royalty
Love is hard work. You need almost no effort to fall in love but you need so much effort to stay in love.
You must fall in love again and again with each other. You must also evaluate your relationship.
When children start growing, know that they are watching your steps and will likely walk in it.
You must determine to give the best impression and help them become better spouses in future.
A woman is fragile
Communication is the best way to handle conflicts. Don't stop talking.
Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.
Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages
Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.
Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages
Instructions are never convenient but they are always profitable.
Variety is the spice of life as William Cowper's poem, "The Task (1785)" puts it. Introduce new and exciting practices in your relationship. Get rid of routine and explore
With godly wisdom, bring new wine to the table of your relationship.
A woman is an administrator
There are three seasons in the life of a man. Morning, noon and evening. Treat the wife of your youth with care and love so that you last till evening and enjoy the benefits of building a godly home.
The fear of God in you guides your actions towards your spouse/partner. Unresolved conflicts will not make you enjoy God's presence in your relationship/marriage. God's presence detests strife and contention.
In marriage, God answers every cry for help. Learn the art of prayer. War with prayer!
The best time to pray is when all is going smooth. A farmer who starts planting while others are harvesting will stay hungry. He will have to wait until those seeds germinate before he can eat.
There is no marriage in heaven. Your marriage can work out fine. Do not look at the failing marriages around you. Just do your part and let God bless your marriage.
The second chapter talks about Romance and finance, Romance and child nursing, the principle of opposite sides attracting and the love language of spouses. On the other hand, chapter three goes on to talk about dealing with in-law and how life is a farm that obeys the law of sowing and reaping. She also writes about refusing to fight for yourself.
In chapter 4, mama Jane talks about feeding the man's ego and knowing how far to go as regards certain issues. She also discuses the subject of domestic violence and the best way to teach. Chapter 5 goes on to tell is how a wife is a helper and a sponsor. Here, mama Jane Arowolo says that a woman should not fully take on the financial responsibility of the home. She also talks about how patience is a virtue and that your spouse is a work in progress. She ends this chapter saying that somebody lacks someth]ng you have.
In chapter 6, mama Jane talks about the greatest assignment in marriage. She then proceeds to talk about the two golden rules in the book of Ephesians. After this, she opens our eyes to 5how respect is reciprocal and that wisdom and knowledge are really needed in every marriage.
Chapter seven opens with the concept of royalty. It discusses how the man is a king in the palace and the woman is a queen in the palace. It also talks about how love is hard work and ends with the fact that your children (when they start coming) are always watching you.
In chapter 8 we learn that women are fragile and that men should learn to deal with it. We also. See a different side to handling conflicts and the need for a worthy mentor in your relationship or marriage. It finally discusses how rk be a woman without feeling cheated (shunning the extremist views of feminism)
Chapter 9 talks about variety being the spice of life and the need to avoid a boring relationship at all cost. To do this, you simply need to think. Out of the box and bring up. Exiting things, build. Memories and engage activities to make your relationship or. Marriage beautiful. This chapter then talks about the old. And new. Wine and the need for constant new, fresh Wine in your relationship or marriage. She then proceeds to talk about women being the best administrator in a marriage or relationship and how that there are three seasons in the life of a man (with specific emphasis on the evening of a man's life).
She concluded with chapter ten talking about the need for the fear of God and the presence of God in every relationship or marriage. She also talks about prayer, the greatest weapon in marriage and how that as believers, you. Must live your fullest in your marital life because there is no marriage in heaven...
This book is a true testament to the fact that God is still very interested in building perfect relationships and families. The author, Pastor Jane Arowolo (popularly called mama Jane) has a mandate to teach what it takes to succeed in marriage. She is a graduate of Public Administration from Ambrose Alli University and has been into active ministry for over 18 years. She is a co-pastor at Glorious Dynamos Life Ministry and the Vice President of Success and Life Network. She anchors "Direction for Singles and Married", "Ladies and Gents Conference", "Just4Ladies", "When Mother's Pray" and "Daughter's of Zion". She is happily married to her best friend, Apostle Wale John Arielle and their union is blessed with three covenant men.
Every relationship needs deliberate and consistent prayer. This is because, without it, such relationship can quickly become stale with each spouse’s heart hardening with every passing day until they are on the brink of a breakup. Prayer forms a bond that is stronger than basic communication.
Relationships and marriages were originally created to be triangular in nature, having God, the man and the woman as active participants in it. The presence of God is what keeps the relationship going, excluding the other activities you may engage in on a horizontal plane with your partner. This month at the Two Become One Community, we have committed ourselves into praying for our partners, relationships and future spouses. In the following action prayer paragraphs, we have highlighted a few reasons and things to pray for in your relationship. As a guide, you can take one paragraph daily as a prayer point until you finish up all days.
A strong relationship is built when two people, moving in the same direction try to become more like Jesus. To do that, they must connect with God through the Word and prayer, among other spiritual activities. Each person must gently encourage the other when they are not engaging in these practices regularly and celebrate each other when they grow spiritually.
2. Pray for Help to love like God loves.
Partners will never contemplate breakup or a divorce when they are busy making sacrifices for each other’s welfare. In praters, partners should make a covenant with God to love each other the way Christ loved His church. This will allow you to sacrifice often and forgive each other easily, thus helping you achieve joy and purpose in the relationship. Not only will you discover a newfound love for your partner, you will also live the abundant life Christ promised.
3. Pray for Help to see each other the way God does.
Everyone makes mistakes because of the imperfect nature of flesh. While we are dead to sin, it is still easy to get down on each other when we’ve allowed busyness and other distractions to detract from the relationship. Partners should prayerfully reflect and ask God to help them see each other the way He sees them. Consult Scripture and pray regular blessings over your partner. When you take time to bless your partner, the blessings will come back to you in a deeper love and appreciation for them. And you will see each other just as God sees them - who they truly are (loved by God).
4. Pray for Help to forgive like God forgives you.
Matthew 6:15 says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.”
Forgiveness is hard, especially in marriage where your spouse has wronged you through infidelity or another grievous sin. But there is nothing that can’t be forgiven because it is all covered under the blood Christ shed for us on the cross (in marriage). However, if such happens while you’re both courting, read here Things to Do when your Partner is in another Affair to know what to do.
When a relationship prayerfully functions with this reality in mind, you can (with Christ’s help) free your partner from the prison of sin—and free yourself from the burden of unforgiveness.
5. Pray for Help to be slow to anger.
In Psalm 86:15, we understand that God shows compassion toward those He loves, and so should we. Pray and ask God to help you see your partner with His eyes and not your own. It will change the way you see and act in your marriage. Practice compassion and be slow to get angry. The less angry you become, the more love you’ll show.
6. Pray for Help to be slow to speak.
It’s a popular saying that God gave us two ears and one mouth because He wants us to listen twice as much as we speak. Much as God wants to use us as His mouthpiece, He sometimes just wants us to remain silent. A part of spiritual maturity attained in the place of consistent prayers to God, is discerning when God wants us to speak and when He doesn’t.