How to Know if he's seriously into you

Your previous relationship has a way of projecting your fears into the future. This is why many ladies today begin to doubt any guy that comes their way. Many times, they do this because they the want to be sure of the guy's intentions, plus they "don’t know who is who". Some are just sacred of commitment or heart break and not just because their heart had been broken before. The follow signs of knowing if he truly loves you whether he says it out loud or not. Well, you all ought to be warned that these signs are not totally it but it could really be of help to all ladies

1. He Listens

If a guy listens attentively and almost always remembers what you say, it certainly means that he is into you. This also makes him not to forget your special days. Never. Also, since he listens, you already realized that he knows everything about you not excluding the littlest details. This should tell you that he is interested in your life.

 

2. He puts you in the picture

He uses the term “we” or “ours” in place of “I” or “mine” while communicating (and the catchiest thing is that he doesn’t even realize it).
 

3. He Respects You

He respects you in all manners you could think of.
5.      He takes care of your needs and treats you like his baby.
6.      He cannot stay mad at you for long no matter the reasons even if you tease him or fool around him.
7.      He becomes your special advisers at certain points in times.
8.      He readily swallows his pride and apologizes after a fight.
9.      He stands a bit too close or wraps his hands around you when you are talking to some other guys.

10.  He loves to hear your opinion when making important decisions about his own life which at times you think is none of your business.
11.  He joins to laugh you when you are having a good laugh with others.
12.  He loves spending time with you when you actually thought he is trying to be helpful which is however true also.
 

He is Protective

He is quite protective of you. This doesn’t mean he fights every other interested guys but means he always love to know you are safe no matter where you are. In this case, you sometimes see that he instinctively holds your hands while you're in public to show that he cares.
 

14.  He makes a lot of effort to be liked by your friends and family.
15.  16.  He talks a lot as he really wants to keep you updated and informed about the happenings in his life such as discussing his plans, his work-mates habits, how annoying his friends can be, what he didn’t really like that you did, and many more. He loves you which is the reason why he opens up to you easily while you think you’ve got a guy as your best friend.

Love Poetry: A Duet of Love

This Love is True
With two drunken masters.
One me, another you.
Let me hold your hand,
Or what do you say?


Do I know what to say?
I'm so drunk in this pool,
The pool of love,
With no other choice
Than to let you hold my hands to the deepest parts

Through coast and rivers
lands and seas
Tight and Glad I hold.
Our love is a fire pot
endlessly burning.

Let it burn forever
Let the vapour smell like frankincense
Let the nation know what
Let us dance round with merry.

It will burn beyond the future
and will never die.
This love is love.

This love has called ears to hear
It has called eyes to see
Of course this is our beginning
The beginning with no end.



This poem was written by two lovers who experience love fresher and fresher each day and decided to express their love towards each other.

5 Reasons Why You Should Keep a Joint Relationship Journal

Today, just as to title speaks we will be discussing 5 reasons why you should keep a joint relationship journal but first let's talk about what a journal is before we dive into what it can do for us.

Journal?

A journal is a book where you write down occurrences and events, lessons learned and Memories shared in your life. It is just like a diary. Some people have different journals for various aspects of their life: spiritual, health, physical, relationship e.t.c while some people have mastered the art of fitting all the happenings in their life into one journal. Either way, keeping a journal is very important for you as an individual. Now, having a joint journal with your partner is an interesting and essential thing to do. Are you wondering why it was so? Then stay with me till the end. Here are 5 reasons why you should have a joint journal in your relationship.

It is a way of Keeping Memories:

Keeping a memory is a way of reminding yourself about life's experiences. Keeping memories that you and your partner have had together is one of the most interesting things you can ever do together because every time you go back to the memories emotions of the past is brought to life in the present.

It is a Way of Tracking Your Growth:

The second reason why you should keep a joint relationship journal with your partner is so that you can track your growth. As a couple, you both have outgrown some things while some other things have been added to you since the time you've been together. A joint journal will help you to have it in the records.

It Helps You to Learn from The Past to Make the Future Better:

Consistency in journalling activities that are occurred in your relationship will give rise to a great number of memories; good, bad, happy, sad. With those memories, you can always go back to learn from the various things that have happened and use the lessons to make better decisions.

You can use it at Your Wedding Reception:

Funny right? When you are finally ready to walk down the aisle, you can get a good photographer or videographer to take pictures of your preferred part of the journal and make nice slides of them then you can share the memories with your friends and families at your wedding reception.

It Strengthens Your Bond:

Journalling is a way of pouring out emotion in a written form. Doing this with your partner is going to help you both spend quality time together while recording and sharing different memories. Doing things like this will help to strengthen your bond and increase your connection.

Note: because you are keeping a joint journal with your partner does not mean you cannot have a personal journal.

I hope to see you again tomorrow. Remember, love is beautiful and we cannot show it to bliss. I love you so much.

Book Review: 40 Great Lessons Marriage has taught Me by Pastor Jane Arowolo

The book, 40 Great Lessons Marriage has taught me" by Pastor Jane Arowolo is a resourceful book that helps you to discover the unrealistic expectations which couples bring into marriage, the challenges of young marriages, how to overcome differences, having a smooth relationship with in-laws, how to keep the fire of love burning and many other secrets to marital bliss.

The 78 paged book opens with an introduction with three questions that define the experience of couples in marriage. According to Mama Jane Arowolo, everyone should define marriage based on:

• Why you are getting married
• How you look at marriage
• What you expect from marriage

These questions determine your experience in marriage.

All 40 lessons are arranged into ten chapters, with each chapter treating four lessons. The first chapter talks about sex for newly weds, sex during Pregnancy and the real definition of romance.

No great marriage exists without great sex.  Also sex can be made out of duty and can be made as a result of love. We also learn that if you expect love in your relationship, you have to always give love.

Like sex, money is important for fruitful romance. It is a fantasy to go into marriage without expecting some changes.

That nothing will change when you get married is a lie. That everything will change when you get married is a bigger lie. Learn to change what you can change and accept what you cannot.

Five love languages are important. Know what works for you and your partner.

In-laws are family. You must treat them as such.  If you expect perfection from people, you will get frustrated. Don't go to marriage with a pepper lifestyle or plans to deal with any in-law. Character is ultimate when dealing with in-laws

A man's ego is as fragile as a woman's heart.

A woman is not wired to carry the financial burden of a family. She is a helper and not a sponsor.  If a woman carries financial burden, that becomes a quick way to lose your honour as a man.

Patience will change many things.

Your partner is a work in progress. Don't go into marriage with unrealistic expectations.

Somebody lacks what you have. Stop comparing your relationship or marriage with another's. -2nd Corinthians 10:12

The two golden rules are in Ephesians 5:22-23 and verse 25 respectively. When a marriage fails it is a sign that the rules have been disobeyed.

Reciprocate respect

Family is Royalty. There is a king, a queen,  princes and princesses. Learn humility in royalty.

There is also honour in royalty

Love is hard work. You need almost no effort to  fall in love but you need so much effort to stay  in love.

You must fall in love again and again with each other. You must also evaluate your relationship.

When children start growing, know that they are watching your steps and will likely walk in it.

You must determine to give the best impression and help them become better spouses in future.

A woman is fragile

Communication is the best way to handle conflicts. Don't stop talking.

Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband  or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.

Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages

Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband  or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.

Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages

Instructions are never convenient but they are always profitable.

Variety is the spice of life as William Cowper's poem,  "The Task (1785)" puts it. Introduce new and exciting practices in your relationship. Get rid of routine and explore

With godly wisdom, bring new wine to the table of your relationship.

A woman is an administrator

There are three seasons in the life of a man. Morning, noon and evening. Treat the wife of your youth with care and love so that you last till evening and enjoy the benefits of building a godly home.

The fear of God in you guides your actions towards your spouse/partner. Unresolved conflicts will not make you enjoy God's presence in your relationship/marriage. God's presence detests strife and contention.

In marriage, God answers every cry for help. Learn the art of prayer. War with prayer! 

The best time to pray is when all is going smooth. A farmer who starts planting while others are harvesting will stay hungry. He will have to wait until those seeds germinate before he can eat.

There is no marriage in heaven. Your marriage can work out fine. Do not look at the failing marriages around you. Just do your part and let God bless your marriage.

 

The second chapter talks about Romance and finance, Romance and child nursing,  the principle of opposite sides attracting and the love language of spouses. On the other hand, chapter three goes on to talk about dealing with in-law and how life is a farm that obeys the law of sowing and reaping. She also writes about refusing to fight for yourself.

In chapter 4, mama Jane talks about feeding the man's ego and knowing how far to go as regards certain issues.  She also discuses the subject of domestic violence and the best way to teach. Chapter 5 goes on to tell is how a wife is a helper and a sponsor. Here, mama Jane Arowolo says that a woman should not fully take on the financial responsibility of the home. She also talks about how patience is a virtue and that your spouse is a work in progress. She ends this chapter saying that somebody lacks someth]ng you have.

In chapter 6, mama Jane talks about the greatest assignment in marriage. She then proceeds to talk about the two golden rules in the book of Ephesians. After this, she opens our eyes to 5how respect is reciprocal and that wisdom and knowledge are really needed in every marriage.

Chapter seven opens with the concept of royalty. It discusses how the man is a king in the palace and the woman is a queen in the palace. It also talks about how love is hard work and ends with the fact that your children (when they start coming) are always watching you.

In chapter 8 we learn that women are fragile and that men should learn to deal with it. We also. See a different side to handling conflicts and the need for a worthy mentor in your relationship or marriage. It finally discusses how rk be a woman without feeling cheated (shunning the extremist views of feminism)

Chapter 9 talks about variety being the spice of life and the need to avoid a boring relationship at all cost. To do this, you simply need to think. Out of the box and bring up. Exiting things, build. Memories and engage activities to make your relationship or. Marriage beautiful. This chapter then talks about the old. And new. Wine and the need for constant new, fresh Wine in your relationship or marriage. She then proceeds to talk about women being the best administrator in a marriage or relationship and how that there are three seasons in the life of a man (with specific emphasis on the evening of a man's life).

She concluded with chapter ten talking about the need for the fear of God and the presence of God in every relationship or marriage. She also talks about prayer, the greatest weapon in marriage and how that as believers, you. Must live your fullest in your marital life because there is no marriage in heaven...

 

This book is a true testament to the fact that God is still very interested in building perfect relationships and families. The author,  Pastor Jane Arowolo (popularly called mama Jane) has a mandate to teach what it takes to succeed in marriage.  She is a graduate of Public Administration from Ambrose Alli University  and has been into active ministry for over 18 years. She is a co-pastor at Glorious Dynamos Life Ministry and the Vice President of Success and Life Network.  She anchors "Direction for Singles and Married", "Ladies and Gents Conference", "Just4Ladies", "When Mother's Pray" and "Daughter's of Zion". She is happily married to her best friend, Apostle Wale John Arielle and their union is blessed with three covenant men.

 

How to Hold Up in a Long Distance Relationship

Intimacy in any relationship is built through constant communication and a level of distance between both partners, but then in a long distance relationship, the question remains: How far can you truly be from love? 

 

In our four years relationship (as at the time of updating this post), we have witnessed the close distance and the long distance cases. We have learnt that holding up the relationship at each other's end is a result of what both partners agree and make committment to. If both partners really want to make the relationship work despite the distance, it definitely will.

How we managed through these long distance relationship times, especially the activities that have kept us going through the long distance period have been compiled into this book. It is a list of engaging activities that can spice up Long distance Relationships and how you can go about them. All of these activities are based on our personal experience, so you would find words like ―us, we, my, ours and other word classes affiliating to us. 

You can also tag along as Hold Up or Uphold 😀. Someone mentioned this to us after we published. Whether you choose to hold up your relationship or up hold it, it is still a conscious effort to ensure that your relationship works.

 

If you are not in a long distance relationship either, you can choose to engage any of these activities. As a plus, we have included thirty five date ideas for you and your partner. These date ideas will come in handy especially when you need to relax and evaluate your relationship from time to time.

 

We would be happy to receive your comments and testimonies here after reading this book. It is our prayer that your relationship will continually glorify God (Amen).

To get your FREE copy, kindly click here to download or click on the download button below.

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Relationship Lessons from Elkanah and Hannah

In every godly relationship, one tough issue for both partners to agree on or make a compromise on is the question: "What if I can't have children?"

Children are regarded as a blessing of marriage and a significance that such marriage has blossomed and that both the wife and husband has performed their duty right. In countries like Nigeria, having children is a big deal to most people and parents often look forward to getting to meet and nurture their grandchildren before the call from the Creator. Some families have issues and are going through a hard time these days with the issue of not having children. Pressures from in-laws, the society and even from within leaves a woman broken at heart, emotionally disturbed, and could affect some women's performance in their day to day activities. Lack  of children causes issues  sometimes between the couples and fights, disagreements,  shouts and pleas for patience is often heard in such  homes. Blame games are always on and the truth never comes out till tests are taken (and it's discovered that it's the man that can't actually have children).

Marriage vows are deeper than what we just see on the surface, some people take these vows with no intention to keep them. When you promise that special someone to always be with such person for better for worse, in sickness and in health, in riches and in lack, the gravity of those words come to play when real life situations occur. Thus, this vows should be taken with the conciousness that those times where things ain't rousy will come. Might not be a delay in child birth, it could be anyother thing. The question is, would you still see that special someone as "special" when life throws big issues at you? Therefore, don't go into marriage because you are being forced or because everyone around you is getting married. Vows are made to be thought about deeply and to be kept sacredly.

Today, we are looking into the lives of a couple who was faced with one of life's challenges as regards to marriage. Although, Elkanah had a polygamous home, he had a wife (Pelinah) who gave birth to children for him, but Hannah His beloved didn't have children. And just like typical rivals, Pelinah was a thorn in Hannah's delicate flesh, delibrately stepping on her toes where it hurt most up to the point the Hannah broke down and couldn't eat (and i can imagine one of Pelinahs children innocently asking Hannah if she wasn't interested in her meal so he or she could devour it). Elkanah loved Hannah so much and although he couldn't give Hannah as much as he gave Pelinah (cos she needed it more), he wanted Hannah to be happy, he even asked her if he wasn't more valuable than ten sons. Although, Elkanah loved Hannah so much, it didn't dispute the fact that the voices of young babes would fill the void Hannah felt deep within her.

Elkanah could have as well added to Hannah's sorrows by concentrating on Pelinah the mother of his children but he didn't.

The truth is marriage is never a bed of roses and having a great marriage takes a whole lot of hard work which starts from courtship. Conflicts would arise but it depends on if we are ready to stay put with the person we claim to love so much or if we decide to run at the slightest show of conflict. Love isn't enough but it goes a long way in making things work especially if it is true, unconditional and without boundaries. We can't always run from conflicts and challenges therefore whatever we are going through, (relationship wise, academics, finances, looking for jobs, admission issues, whatever) lets ask for strength from God to scale through the challenge and let's ask that God opens our eyes to lessons we are to learn. God wouldn't have promised us His strength when we are weak if He wasn't ready to help us and He wouldn't have promised us His Spirit if He wanted us to walk through life alone.

Lastly, let's remember that delay doesn't necessarily mean denial. Hannah was delayed only to give birth to a prophet who was known and is still known throughout the history of Israel. He was used by God greatly and I'm sure his parents were proud of him.

Think about it: of all Pelinahs children, who among them did half the things Samuel did? Did any of their names come up in the bible at all?

Date on His Purse or Dutch on Us

Right! Whenever you man up and foot every popping bill, it does this wonder boosting to your ego, you feel manly and when she sits there and watch you pay each time, it does this cruel bruising to her pride.

Every lady who has a premium-quality-starter-packed for a wife material wouldn’t comfortably watch you settle the bills every time. Yes! She will want you to know that you two are in it together, she’ll itch to make you see her as the helper she’s been made and not siphon from you always.

A parochial approach to things however causes some men to view ladies who pulled out their wallet and settle bills as depriving them of feeling manly. Or worse, claiming equality with them. No she’s not.

There is this mutuality that doing things together fosters rather than you always being at the bill end all the time. If you maintain it’s your sole responsibility to settle the bill and wouldn’t even want to see her pulse anytime another one pops up, don’t be surprise you are going to make her stick to the kitchen and never expect your help in that zone too. When something benefits two people and only one person is the whole burden, the relationship becomes a sinking ship but when something benefits two people and both are all hands on deck about it, the relationship then becomes partnership. Ladies too, don’t wreck your guy because he is a man, he is a man and not an iron rod.

Dutch is simply each man for himself and God for us all. You pay for your meal and I pay for mine. While this may be cool, however it will subconsciously introduce this distance feeling into your relationship on the long run. Compared to dating couples who simply come together and get it all done as a twain.

So on your next date, how about let her the bills if she offered to and you get the movie tickets. Relationship can be a lot of fun without one party feeling like she is becoming a burden or the other thinking his place as a man is being threatened.

 -Adeyemi Comfort Oluwatoyin

Baby mi jowo, je ka Jo maa gbadun

Every Saturday, I wake up to remember the lines in Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey's grand song. It tells a love story with the male, prompting his lady to come to him while they enjoy till forever.

Every Saturday, many love stories are shared with many witnesses. Some of these stories end up being very blissful marriages while others end in divorce, separation and anything worse. The sad thing about all of these is that there are plenty weddings but few marriages. Many factors are responsible for this in our society especially with celebrity marriages which seem to be the main attack-target. For non-celebrity marriages too, there is a whole lot covered because there is minimum social media and paparazzi tracks. In extreme cases, all these factors pump out a breakup or divorce cases.

One of these factors is the presence of a pursuer and a distancer in many relationships today. This happens in cases where both parties feel uninterested in the relationship and one party (the pursuer) is trying to make it work while the other (the distancer) is tearing walls down. The pursuer-distancer relationship comes when the first party (pursuer) keeps chasing for new and fresh love while the other party (distancer) keeps running off because they are disinterested in the relationship. If this is also the case, there is definitely no happiness

 

Below are a few tips to make your relationship or marriage work when it seems crashing.

1. Pray for your spouse

We are not usually conscious of the streams of opportunity that we hold when we pray, a reason why individuals do not seem to take prayers, especially for their spouses as a serious assignment. If you would pray for your spouse long before you two meet, you will enjoy great bliss and will not bother raising some issues again in prayer. There is so much to pray to God about your partner and there is more than enough time to do those prayers. It is wrong timing to pray about your partner's characters fifteen years into the marriage when you saw those traits before courtship and refused to pray and work on them. Praying for your partner is not overemphasized. You will not reap  the appropriate benefits if you undervalue prayers for your partner. You can check our online guide here to help you pray for your partner. You can also read our article about what happens when you two pray

2. Recreate Memories and Rebuild Attractions

You got into your relationship because you two were attracted to each other. You probably met at some random outing - at a seminar, a beach, or a house party. In the same way, visit fun places, love locations and engage in activities to help you sustain attraction for each other. In our book Hold Up, we made a long list of thirty five amazing date ideas for partners. These date ideas are flexible enough to fit in for short and long distance relationships. You must also know that fun is scheduled and even if your personal schedules do not permit, find out time to recreate these memories with your partner.

3. Love and Respect each other

Women are made to love, want to love, and expect love. On the other hand, men are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Love is vital, especially for the wife, and at the same time, respect is vital, especially for the man. The point of balance is where both partners decide to understand the need to love and respect each other without any negative will to claim love or respect. The woman should learn that certain actions will make her man love her deeply, while the man must also learn that he has to earn and command respect in a thoughtful and loving manner. One book widely recommended as regards Love and Respect for each other in a relationship and marriage is "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

These are just few of many other points. When you do this consistently in your relationship, you will find so much happiness and discover one cool evening that your playlist contains this song. You'd be glad to listen😃.