5 Tips on How to Survive a Relationship Breakup
It is so amusing how the term Breakup has been gradually replaced with Breakfast, especially in this part of the world. For the sake of our diverse readers, we will stick to the original term which is Breakup.
Many times when most people experience a breakup, it seems like the end of the world, especially in cases where they truly loved their partner. In most cases, ladies tend to cry while men stay sober and maybe drink so that they don’t feel the hurt, but the truth is that the hurt and pain still come back, bigger and harder. Most of the time, people tend to shut others out of their life and just remain on their own to feel the pain of breaking up.
While some people try to stay sober or drink or shut people out, some other people try to suppress the hurt that they feel and pretend as if nothing happened. One might think that is the best solution, but it is one of the worse things to do- not allowing yourself to feel the hurt of a breakup. Different people with different ways of dealing with their pains and hurt but in this post, I will be giving 5 tips on how to survive a breakup well and good.
Allow Yourself to Feel the Hurt but Not for Long
It is very normal to think of our past relationship or ex even after your breakup with them and thoughts like this always come back, especially at times you are just on your own or you see the things or go to places where you both have been to. It is not wrong that after your breakup with your partner, you feel pained and sad. The pain will even be harder for someone who already has big plans and loads of expectations for the relationship and from their partner. But like I mentioned above, it is not good to try to push aside the pain and behave as if no shit just happened in your life. In the long run, things might keep getting out of hand. It is good to feel the pain, and cry if you need to. It is good to let out your emotions and not suppress them. As good as it is to let out your emotions, it is best not to allow yourself to spend forever in the past. The relationship is gone, and now in the past, so it is best to let it be, and move on. Hard as this may seem, it is one of the best ways to survive a relationship breakup. Feel the pain but know when to cut it off.
Focus on You
Breakups are so hard that they may want to take everything from you. Break up is ready to strip you of any strength you think you possess but the best thing to do at this time is to make yourself the priority. This is a very good time to not only focus on yourself but also pick up new hobbies, take yourself on a picnic, travel to new places if you can afford it, set new goals for yourself, exercise, take a course, volunteer, just have fun. While having fun and enjoying life the best way you can, make sure that you remind yourself of who you are, and say nice and positive things about yourself. Speaking words of affirmation to yourself, words that tell you how much you are loved will help you pull through the tough moments after a relationship breakup. As much as this is a time to have all the ‘me time’, all the fun, and discover new things about yourself, this isn’t the right time to jump into a new relationship. It is best to give yourself ample time to recover and heal from the breakup and all the insecurities and fear that might have come with it. Most people drag themselves into the same cycle of breakup over and over again because they feel lost and broken as an individual and I feel like having a partner or being in a relationship will heal them. Give your inner man the time to catch up on the fun things that could not be done when you had your ex in your life.
Reach out to Family and Friends
As much as this is the time to focus on you, it is also a good time to bond with your friends and family members, have all the time you can with them, and catch up on things that you couldn’t do while you were in that previous relationship. During this time, have fun and go out with your friends, attend family functions, and spend time with your parents, siblings, and other extended family members. Help out and be useful. By doing this, you might be making them smile, thereby, making yourself happy too. Also, when you spend time with your friends and family, they help you to get over this period of pain by showing you love and care and letting you know that you are not alone. Bond!
Learn from Your Experience
After a breakup, it is good to let the past dwell in the past, but also better to learn from your past mistakes. Something that you and your ex did or didn’t do might have led to the breakup. It is better to use this to your advantage so that such mistakes will not repeat themselves in your future relationship. You can achieve this through the power of questioning. How to do this is to ask yourself a series of questions that will help you look deep into how you played your role and how your partner played his or her role and where it all went wrong. Sometimes, doing this alone might be hard as it will open up memories of the relationship hence, you should do this with the help of a therapist, coach, or counselor. They will be able to help you better trace the happenings in your life and past relationships and join the dot till you can make sense of it. In this way, you will also be able to heal from the hurt and insecurities that came out of the relationship with you. This will also help you to know how to be a better partner in your new relationship.
n the process of trying to get over your breakup, different memories will surely come to mind. It might come from you seeing pictures of the person, you going somewhere that you have been with the person, or just seeing the person pass. Different things can spring up the thought of the person even silence. When these memories flash through your mind, you might be tempted to start stalking them on their social media account or stalking the person physically. You might even find yourself wanting to force yourself on them and this isn’t a good one to do. In other to get over these feelings, it is better to make sure that you constantly remind yourself why that relationship was no more conducive for you both and you must try to wave all the memories of the person when they come up in your mind. Although it is good to be on good terms with your ex, (depending on what caused the breakup) if you think seeing them will make things worse for you, it is better to unfollow them on your social media account and try to get rid of things that might remind you of them pending the time that you are trying to get hold of yourself.
Getting over a breakup isn’t a very easy thing to do, but it is a very good thing to do to avoid more of it repeating itself. Pay attention to yourself and your growth at this moment, make sure that you trace the dots and observe the patterns so that you won’t have to make the same mistake time and time again.