When Spirituality Bows to Emotions

After Nelson and I started our relationship, it was a mix of "No sex until marriage" and "we really want to have fun growing with God". The truth is, it really isn't easy. Sometimes you want to just hold and "do the do" but then, the love of God constrains.

It's really not about how spiritual you are because ''body no be fire wood'' but of course how much of self control one can have. That's why the question is - Is it really possible to be in a relationship and not let your emotions take over you? Is it possible to abstain from sex until marriage? Is it possible to do away with the sexual urges when they come? 😭 When you're around boo or bae and your body is doing 'gish gish' and you just want to cuddle, what do you do? 😔

Pictures from Broken Pieces 2019

I'll Like To Break Down The Topic For Easy Understanding- "When Spirituality Bows To Emotions"

This is simply a situation where Christians, spiritual people, tongue speaking and dead raising people fall Into sexual sin either as singles or when in a relationship.

I'll Be Splitting this into parts.

- What Are Sexual Sins

- Consequences

- How To Overcome Sexual Sins

- Prayer For Healing From Sexual Sin

So, Let's move ✈

First, Sexual sins are Sexual sins. Sex is a Gift from God, beautifully wrapped and meant only to be opened in marriage. So, When You ''thief the meat from the pot, and open that Gift, You've Committed Sexual Immorality. Examples are cases of masturbation, fornication, lust, pornography, incest and all other forms of sex.

I'll also like to establish the Spiritual Vs Emotions. We Need To know who a Spiritual man is and who An Emotional Man Is.

Spiritual And Emotional are two Types Of mental behavioral changes In man that shows some differences Between Them. Emotions Are Nothing But Feelings Related To *Worldly Life*. On The Other Hand, Spiritual Are Feelings Related To *Unearthly Or Unworldly Life.*

There Can Only Be *Earthly Happiness* In Emotional Feelings. On The Other Hand, There Can Be An *Unbound Happiness* In The Case Of Spiritual Feelings. This Is An Important Difference Between The Two Mental Conditions.

Being Spiritual Is All About Being *Godly In Thinking And Acting. On the other hand, being emotional Is All About Being *Humanly in thinking and Acting*.

Spirituality is *highest state of mind*, Whereas Emotional Is The *Normal State Of Mind*. Anybody Can Be Emotional At A Given Point Of Time. On The Other Hand, *Only People With Pure Mind And Thought Alone Can Be Spiritual.*

Emotional Is Related To The *Physical Body*. On The Other Hand, Spiritual Is Related To The *Divine Nature Of The Soul Within The Body*. The Word ‘spiritual’ Is Derived From The Word ‘spirit’ That Resides In Every Individual.

Spiritual Leads To The *Equanimity Of Individuals And The Tranquility Of The Mind*. On The Other Hand, Emotional Feeling Leads To The *Agitation Of The Mind And The Disturbance Caused In Mental Balance*. Since Emotional Is All About Being Worldly It Affects The Other Individuals As Well. On The Other Hand, Since Spirituality Is Unworldly In Nature It Is Experienced By The Individual Without Affecting The Others.

Spirituality Leads To Religion. On The Other Hand, Emotional Feelings Lead To Friendship And Enmity. Spiritual Is Nothing But The Feeling Of The Existence Of God Within Us. On The Other Hand, Emotional Behavior Results In Actions Such As Crying, Shouting And Lamenting. A Spiritual man can be emotional Too But A Solely Emotional Man Is not automatically Spiritual Unless He deliberately decides to be.*

Now, Why Do Spiritual Men Fall?

God Commands and demands that there shouldn't even be a hint of sexual immorality among us as His saved people (Ephesians 5:3). This Feels Completely impossible most Of The Time. If there is one area Of Life Where It Feels like Satan Is winning the battle, it is in the area of sex. At the same time, if there is one area where our Bodies Are Screaming Out For us to Disobey God, Its in the area of sex.

Sexual sin is one sin That Most Christians are guilty of. You might not have physically had Sex before, but your Mind Has Done More Than What Married People Do.

Remember scriptures mentioned that If You Look At A Woman Lustfully, You've Had Sex With Her l, making you No Different From Fornicators..

Let me establish that a lot Of People Feel Pornography And Masturbation Is An Escape From Sex, Thus It's Not A Sin. Dear people of God, they are Also Sexual Sins because They Don't Only Cage You But Make you Long For The Real Deal...

PORNOGRAPHY

(Use This Analysis Also For Other Sexual Sins and Lies)

Porn Is Harmless."

I don't think there will ever be a lie as misleading than this. While Watching pornography may seem as an insignificant problem in the Beginning, It adds up In The Long Run Until It Gains The Power To Ruin Areas Of Our Lives That We Might Not Think It Has Effect Over.

1 Corinthians 6:13 Says, "'Food Is Meant For The Stomach And The Stomach For Food'—And God Will Destroy Both One And The Other. The Body Is Not Meant For Sexual Immorality, But For The Lord, And The Lord For The Body." God Intends To Destroy Sexual Immorality Before It Destroys Us.

When Jesus Took Our Sins To The Cross, He Nailed Pornography And Sexual Impurity Along With All Other Iniquities So That We May Experience Freedom Once And For All. In Christ There Is Freedom, But People Who Get Too Deep Into Pornography Will See It Destroy Certain Areas Of Their Lives. Here Are Seven Areas In A Person's Life That Porn Destroys.

1. Spirituality

This Has To Be The Most Obvious. It's Hard To Grow In Our Relationship With God When We Are In Bondage To Sin. While God Desires For Us Freedom To Pursue Him, Sin Draws Us Away From God's Presence And Makes It Difficult To Grow Spiritually.

2. Parenting

When Children Are Deeply Exposed To Porn, It Becomes Difficult For Parents To Guide Them In The Ways They Should Go. Studies Show That 67 Percent Of Young Men And 49 Percent Of Young Women Regard Viewing Porn Is An Acceptable Way To Express One's Sexuality. Also, Parents Who Expose Themselves To Porn Have Often Admitted To Feeling Desensitised In The Areas Of Marriage And Family.

3. Marriage

No Matter How Many Times You Flip It, Pornography Is Adultery And Infidelity. While There May Be No Physical Contact, There Is An Unfaithfulness In The Mind And Heart. Covenant Eyes Shares That 56 Percent Of Divorce Cases Involved One Party Having An Obsessive Interest In Pornographic Websites.

4. Work And Productivity

The Family Research Council Says, "When Viewing Pornography Becomes An Addiction, 40 Percent Of Sex Addicts Lose Their Spouses, 58 Percent Suffer Considerable Financial Losses, And About A Third Lose Their Jobs."

Pornography Can Become A Challenge To Productivity And Therefore To Work, Especially When We Expose Ourselves To Porn During Work Hours.

5. Finances.

With A Drop Of Productivity At Work, There Can Often Be A Drop Of Profitability. Porn Is An Expensive Industry That Can Rack Up Unnecessary Expenses That Can Be Used Elsewhere. It Doesn't Only Eat Up Monetary Resources, But Also More Important Resources Such As Time And Attention.

6. Sense Of Social Justice.

The Porn Industry And Human Trafficking Problems Are Tied Up In So Many Areas. Many Porn Videos Online Involve Women Taken For Granted Out Of Their Own Free Will, Some Of Them Being Underage. It May Not Seem Like It, But Being Attached To Porn Is Feeding The Problem Of Social Injustice Today.

7. Ministry

We Have Seen Stories Of Pastors, Church Leaders And Spiritual Mentors Having To Step Down From Their Posts Because Of Problems That Boil Down To Sexual Immorality. Porn Does Not Just Hurt The Individual But Even People Around Them. Many Ministries Have Suffered As A Result Of Pornography Taking Charge Of The Hearts And Minds Of Men And Women In Church Work.

*The Things You Do Now Have Ripple Effects On Your Future.*

*Sexual Immorality If Not Stopped At A Tender Age can Lead To Many Issues In Marriage And Purpose.*

A Lot Of Christians Fall Into Sexual Sin When They Become Unguarded. No Matter How Spiritual You Are, You Cannot Be Independent Of God's Help.

Many Christians Feel They Can Do Some Things With Their Strength Alone And Thus, Fail. So, Do Not Depend On Your Strength. You need God at All Times.

*Consequences Of Sexual Sin*

Usually We Think That We Can Handle Sin Or We Can Get Away With It When No One Is Looking. But The Price Of Sin Is High.

First, The Price For My Sin Required Nothing Less Than The Death Of The Innocent Son of God, Jesus, The Christ, The Holy One, Who Died An Ugly, Humiliating, Horribly Painful Death On The Cross To Satisfy His Father’s Wrath For My Sin. My Sin Is very costly.

These Are Only Some Of The Consequences Of Sexual Sin. If Only We Would Rehearse In Advance The Ugly And Overwhelming Consequences Of Immorality, We Would Be Far More Prone To Avoid It. May We Live Each Day In The Love And Fear Of God.

❤ Grieving My Lord; Displeasing The One Whose Opinion Most Matters.

❤Dragging Into The Mud Christ’s Sacred Reputation.

❤Loss Of Reward And Commendation From God.

❤Having To One Day Look Jesus In The Face At The Judgment Seat And Give An Account Of Why I Did It.

❤Following In The Footsteps Of Men I Know Of Whose Immorality Forfeited Their Ministry And Caing.

❤Suffering Of Innocent People Around Me Who Would Get Hit By My Mistakes.

❤Untold Hurt To My Parents, Loved Ones And People That Look Up To Me.

❤Loss Of Credibility And Respect.

❤Shame to my Family And Shame To My Church Family.

❤Shame and hurt To My Fellow Christians, to my Friends, And Especially Those I’ve Led To Christ And Discipled.

❤Guilt Awfully Hard To Shake-Even Though God Would Forgive Me, Would I Forgive Myself?

❤Plaguing Memories And Flashbacks That Could Taint Future Intimacy With My Future Spouse.

❤Being Haunted By My Sin As I Look In The Eyes Of Others, And Having It All Dredged Up Again Wherever I Go And Whatever I Do.

❤Undermining The Hard Work And Prayers Of Others By Saying To Our Community “this Is A Hypocrite!

❤Laughter, Rejoicing And Blasphemous Smugness By Those Who Disrespect God And The Church (2 Samuel 12:14).

❤Bringing Great Pleasure To Satan, The Enemy Of God.

❤Possible Diseases: Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Herpes, And Aids .

❤Loss Of Self-Respect, Discrediting My Own Name, And Invoking Shame And Lifelong Embarrassment Upon Myself.

*These Are Some Consequences Of Sexual Sin, Do We Now See That It Doesn't Worth It*

The Battle Begins In The Mind. You Need To Know What God Says About Sex And Trust What God Says About Sex. You Need To Be Careful What You Fill Your Minds With. Imagination Is Often The Hotbed Where Sin Is Often Hatched.

🔥Pray Daily. Depend On God, On The Power Of His Holy Spirit To Strengthen You In This Battle.

🔥Don't Put Yourself In Situations Where You Will Be Easily Tempted.

🔥Remember God Is Watching. You Are Never Completely Out Of Sight. Someone Can Always See You.

🔥Wield The Axe. Jesus Says In Matthew 5 That If Your Eye Or Hand Causes You To Sin, Gouge Them Out And Throw Them Away, Because Eternal Life Is At Stake. So If The Internet, Magazines, Tv, Or Peer Group Are Causing You To Sin; Wield The Axe. Especially Watch Out For Social Media. Unfollow People Who Are Posting Explicit Photos.

🔥Talk About Sex. (Accountability). You Can't Fight This Alone. You Need God's Help And You Need God's People's Help Too. Find Someone You Trust & Share Your Struggle.

🔥Be Careful What You Wear. Modesty Is Good For You And Good For Others Too.

🔥Remember The Cross. Jesus Died For Our Sins, Including Our Sexual Sins.

🔥Remember Jesus Is Coming Back. We All Will Have To Give An Account For Our Lives, Even Our Sex Life.

🔥Struggling Is A Good Sign. Keep Fighting And Don't Give In.

🔥Forgiveness Is Available. If You Sin Sexually You Can Still Be Forgiven, Such Is The Power Of The Cross Of Christ. So Repent, Turn Back To God And Live For Him.

While In A Relationship, As Christians, Its Important To Be With Someone Who Loves And Respect God.

Have Boundaries And Both Of You Must Respect Them.

See ehn, We're Human And As Such, When In Love, A Lot Of Things Will Come To Your Mind.

Being Tempted Is Not The Sin, Yielding To Temptation Is The Sin.

I Like Being Practical, Let Me Share My Own Personal Story.

When My Relationship Started, Because I Know How Very Emotional I Can Be. I Told My Fiancé That Should In Case I Get  Mad Or One Spirit Enters Me Or I Just Become Unstable And I Want To Lure Him To Have Sex With Me, I Said To Him That He Should Give Me A Nice Punch To Reset My Brain Or Send Me Out Or Pour Water On My Head Or He Should Run Away Sef And He Said Something Similar Too...

See, You Both Have To Be Accountable For And To Each Other. You Must Be On The Same Page And Help Each Other Remain Sexually Pure Until Marriage.

The Temptation Will Come, The Gish Gish Feeling Will Come But With The Right Mind And Help From God, You'll Overcome.

[5/23, 9:16 PM] Sinmi ECU: Don't Be Idle Lest The Devil Employs You.

When The Thought Comes, Distract Yourself With The Things Of God Or Something Godly And Sensible.

When It's Worse.. Burst Into Tongues.

Don't Now Go And Visit Boo Or Bae When You Have Sexual Urges oooo..

The Result Will Be Triplets.

I've Said My Own.😀

Now, Before Prayers. I Want To Say Something That Is In The Heart Of Many.

Sexual Addiction From Sexual Abuse.

A Lot Of People Have Been Sexually Abused And Thus They Become So Addicted To Sex And Can'T Break Free. Yes It Wasn'T Your Fault But You Can'T Hold On To That Excuse Forever.

There Is Forgiveness And Help At The Cross. Forgive The Offender, Forgive Yourself And Turn To God For Forgiveness. Seek Right Counsel And Break Free From That Cage.

Sex Is One 'Spirit' That Can Make A Great Leader Fall And Fail.

Sex Is Not Just Physical Pleasure. Sex Is Actually More Spiritual Than Just 5 Minutes Of Ups And Downs And This Is Why I'm A Great Advocate Of Sexual Purity And I Always Tell People That Premarital Sex Is Not Just A Sin Against God But A Trap To Your Life And Destiny.

The Time Is Too Short To Dig Deep Into The Spiritual Aspect Of Sex But I Tell You That Even If You Protect Yourself From Sexual Transmitted Diseases, There Are Spiritual Transmitted Diseases That Are Transferred Through Sex Which Is Why You Must Be Careful Of Who You Marry And Who You Have Sex With.

There Is The Exchange On Mantles And Rights During Sex, If You're Unmarried And You Engage In Pre-marital Sex, The Ones You Lay With Can Speak Words To Your Life Negatively And Having Had Sex With Them, They Have Some Sort Of Right Over Your Life. Just Imagine If You Have 10 Girls Or Guys That Can Control Your Life Just Because Of 5 Minutes Of Pleasure. Typing Won't Really Explain This Well. I Really Hope We Understand),

Avoid All Possible Temptation.

Say, “no!” To Every Lustful Thought.

Turn Your Eyes Towards Christ. Hold onto a promise From God. Enjoy Jesus more than Sinful Pleasure.

Move Away From Idleness And Find Something To Do.

*PRAYERS FOR SEXUAL HEALING*

Healing For Your Sexuality Is Available; This Is A Very Hopeful Truth! But You Must Realize That Your Sexuality Is Deep And Core To Your Nature As A Human Being. Therefore, Sexual Brokenness Can Be One Of The Deepest Types Of Brokenness A Person Might Experience. You Must Take Your Healing And Restoration Seriously. This Guided Prayer Will Help Immensely. You May Find The Need To Pray Through It A Few Times In Order To Experience A Lasting Freedom.

A Bit Of Explanation On The Reasons For The Prayer: First, When We Misuse Our Sexuality Through Sin, We Give Satan An Open Door To Oppress Us In Our Sexuality. A Man Who Uses Pornography Will Find Himself In A Very Deep Struggle With Lust; A Woman Who Was Sexually Promiscuous Before Marriage May Find Herself Wresting With Sexual Temptation Years Afterward. So It Is Important To Bring Our Sexuality Under The Lordship (And Therefore Protection) Of The Lord Jesus Christ And Seek His Cleansing Of Our Sexual Sins.

2. PRAYER FOR SEXUAL BROKENNESS—Whether Through Abuse Of Our Sexuality By Our Own Actions Or By The Actions Of Others—Can Create Sexual Difficulties And Also Opens The Door For The Enemy To Oppress Us. Quite Often Forgiveness Is Needed—Both The Confidence That We Are Forgiven By The Lord And The Choice We Make To Forgive Others. This Will Prove Immensely Freeing.

Let Us Begin By Bringing Our Lives And Sexuality Under The Lordship Of Jesus Christ:

Lord Jesus Christ, I Confess Here And Now That You Are My Creator (John 1:3) And Therefore The Creator Of My Sexuality. I Confess That You Are Also My Savior, That You Have Ransomed Me With Your Blood (1 Corinthians 15:3, Matthew 20:28). I Have Been Bought With The Blood Of Jesus Christ; My Life And My Body Belong To God (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). Jesus, I Present Myself To You Now To Be Made Whole And Holy In Every Way, Including In My Sexuality. You Ask Us To Present Our Bodies To You As Living Sacrifices (Romans 12:1) And The Parts Of Our Bodies As Instruments Of Righteousness (Romans 6:13). I Do This Now. I Present My Body, My Sexuality [“as A Man” Or “as A Woman”] And I Present My Sexual Nature To You. I Consecrate My Sexuality To Jesus Christ...

3. PRAYERS

Next, You Need To Renounce The Ways You Have Misused Your Sexuality. The More Specific You Can Be, The More Helpful This Will Be. God Created Your Sexuality For Pleasure And Joy Within The Context Of The Marriage Covenant. Sexual Activity Outside Of Marriage Can Be Very Damaging To A Person And To Their Relationships (1 Corinthians 6:18–20).

What You Want To Do In This Part Of The Prayer Is Confess And Renounce All Sexual Sin—For Example, Sexual Intimacy Before Marriage: Not Only Intercourse, But Other Forms Of Sexual Intimacy Such As Mutual Masturbation Or Oral Sex. Many People Assume These “don’t Really Count As Sin” Because They Didn’t Result In Actual Intercourse; However, There Was Sexual Stimulation And Intimacy. Keep In Mind There Is The “spirit Of The Law” And The “letter Of The Law.” What Matters Are Issues Of Heart And Mind As Well As Body. Other Examples Of Sins To Renounce Would Be The Use Of Pornography, And Sexual Fantasies. You May Know Exactly What You Need To Confess And Renounce; You May Need To Ask God’s Help To Remember. Take Your Time Here. As Memories And Events Come To Mind, Confess And Renounce Them. For Example: “lord Jesus I Ask Your Forgiveness For My Sins Of Masturbation And Using Pornography. I Renounce Those Sins In Your Name.” After You Have Confessed Your Sins, Go On With The Rest Of The Prayer...

4. PRAYERS

Jesus, I Ask Your Holy Spirit To Help Me Now Remember, Confess, And Renounce My Sexual Sins. [Pause. Listen. Remember. Confess And Renounce.] Lord Jesus, I Ask Your Forgiveness For Every Act Of Sexual Sin. You Promised That If We Confess Our Sins, You Are Faithful And Just To Forgive Us Our Sins And Cleanse Us From All Unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). I Ask You To Cleanse Me Of My Sexual Sins Now; Cleanse My Body, Soul, And Spirit, Cleanse My Heart And Mind And Will, Cleanse My Sexuality. Thank You For Forgiving Me And Cleansing Me. I Receive Your Forgiveness And Cleansing. I Renounce Every Claim I Have Given Satan To My Life Or Sexuality Through My Sexual Sins. Those Claims Are Now Broken By The Cross And Blood Of Jesus Christ (Colossians 2:13–15).

Next Comes Forgiveness. It Is Vital That You Forgive Both Yourself And Those Who Have Harmed You Sexually. Listen Carefully: Forgiveness Is A Choice; We Often Have To Make The Decision To Forgive Long Before We Feel Forgiving. We Realize This Can Be Difficult, But The Freedom You Will Find Will Be Worth It!

Forgiveness Is Not Saying, “it Didn’t Hurt Me.” Forgiveness Is Not Saying, “it Didn’t Matter.” Forgiveness Is The Act Whereby We Pardon The Person, We Release Them From All Bitterness And Judgment. We Give Them To God To Take Control...

5. PRAYERS

Lord Jesus, I Thank You For Offering Me Total And Complete Forgiveness. I Receive That Forgiveness Now. I Choose To Forgive Myself For All Of My Sexual Wrongdoing. I Also Choose To Forgive Those Who Have Harmed Me sexually. [Be Specific Here; Name Those People And Forgive Them.] I Release Them To You. I Release All My Anger And Judgment Toward Them. Come, Lord Jesus, Into The Pain They Caused Me, And Heal Me With Your Love.

This Next Step Involves Breaking The Unhealthy Emotional And Spiritual Bonds Formed With Other People Through Sexual Sin. One Of The Reasons The Bible Takes Sexual Sin So Seriously Is Because Of The Damage It Does. Another Reason Is Because Of The Bonds It Forms With People, Bonds Meant To Be Formed Only Between Husband And Wife (See 1 Corinthians 6:15–20). One Of The Marvelous Effects Of The Cross Of Our Lord Jesus Christ Is That It Breaks These Unhealthy Bonds. “may I Never Boast Except In The Cross Of Our Lord Jesus Christ, Through Which The World Has Been Crucified To Me And I To The World” (Galatians 6:14).

6. PRAYERS

I Now Bring The Cross Of My Lord Jesus Christ Between Me And Every Person With Whom I Have Been Sexually Intimate. [Name Them Specifically Whenever Possible. Also Name Those Who Have Abused You Sexually.] I Break All Sexual, Emotional, And Spiritual Bonds With [Name If Possible). I Keep The Cross Of Christ Between Us.

Many People Experience Negative Consequences Through The Misuse Of Their Sexuality. Those Consequences Might Be Lingering Guilt (Even After Confession) Or Repeated Sexual Temptation. Consequences Might Also Be The Inability To Enjoy Sex With Their Spouse. It Will Help To Bring The Work Of Christ Here As Well. Many People End Up Making Unhealthy “agreements” About Sex Or Themselves, About Men Or Women Or Intimacy, Because Of The Damage They Have Experienced Through Sexual Sin (Their Sin, Or The Sin Of Someone Against Them). You Will Want To Ask Christ What Those Agreements Are And Break Them!

7. PRAYERS

Lord Jesus, I Ask You To Reveal To Me Every “agreement” I Have Made About My Sexuality Or This Specific Struggle. [An Example Would Be “i Will Always Struggle With This” Or “i Can Never Get Free”  Or “my Sexuality Is Dirty.” Pause And Let Jesus Reveal Those Agreements To You. Then Break Them.] I Break This Agreement [Name It] In The Name Of My Lord Jesus Christ, And I Renounce Every Claim I Have Given It In My Life. I Renounce “the Hatred Of My Body”]. I Bring The Cross And Blood Of Jesus Christ Against This [Guilt Or Shame, Every Negative Consequence]. I Banish My Enemy From My Sexuality In The Mighty Name Of The Lord Jesus Christ. I Invite The Healing Presence Of Jesus Christ To Cleanse Me And Restore Me As A Sexual Being In Fullness Of Joy And Wholeness. I Ask You, Jesus, To Fill My Sexuality With Your Holiness, To Strengthen Me And Restore Me In Your Name.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

8. PRAYERS

Finally, It Will Prove Helpful To Consecrate Your Sexuality To Jesus Christ Once More.

Lord Jesus, I Now Consecrate My Sexuality To You In Every Way. I Consecrate My Sexual Intimacy With My Future Spouse To You. I Ask You To Cleanse And Heal My Sexuality And Our Sexual Intimacy In Every Way.  I Ask Your Healing Grace To Come And Free Me From All Consequences Of Sexual Sin. I Ask You To Fill My Sexuality With Your Healing Love And Goodness. Restore My Sexuality In Wholeness. Let My Spouse And Me Experience All Of The Intimacy And Pleasure You Intended A Man And Woman To Enjoy In Marriage. I Invite The Spirit Of God To Fill Our Marriage Bed When It Comes. I Pray All Of This In The Name Of Jesus Christ, My Lord. Amen!!

Now Remember, Sometimes The Wounds And Consequences Take Time To Heal. You Might Want To Revisit This Prayer Several Times Over If Lasting Healing Has Not Yet Taken Place And Trust God For Grace.

Some Of You Will Also Benefit From Seeing A Good Christian Counselor For Cases Of Abuse And Such.

Hold Fast To These Truths:

You, Your Body, And Your Sexuality Belong To Jesus Christ. He Has Completely Forgiven You. He Created Your Sexuality To Be Whole And Holy. He Created Your Sexuality To Be A Source Of Intimacy And Joy. Jesus Christ Came To Seek And Save “What Was Lost” (Luke 19:10), Including All That Was Lost In The Blessings He Intended Through Our Sexuality!

Your Body Is The Temple Of The Holy Spirit.

I pray that God grants you understanding And Grace To Continually Stand Strong before temptations In Jesus' Name.

Kindly ask questions in the comments

Adesola Sinmileoluwa Heritage is a graduate of the Obafemi Awolowo University, CEO of Ladies Delight, a Relationship Counselor and lover of God. While she's not being too serious, she's cooking, hanging out with like minds and learning new things. She is a sister, mother, mentor, role model and daughter to many.

Lessons from the Period of Singleness

The period of singleness is one that is very important in the life of every individual that looks to getting into a relationship in future. This period is one where you are to form a strong bond with yourself, know yourself and recognize your identity. It is only when one is able to recognize his true self that the right decisions about life, spirituality, finances and even relationship can be made. This period can never be over emphasized in the life of any single person, this period has the power to make you enjoy your relationship so well, if maximized.

Take a stroll with me and let us look at Tolani’s life and her little experience in Lagos. She went to Lagos to visit her friends who loves to have fun at all the available bars and clubs on their street. As usual they had to go out and have fun and Tolani decided to go with them this time. Little did she know that her friend are not only heavy drinkers but they also smoke. Tolani was offered a stick of cigarette, but she looked at them and smiled and said “I am not a smoker” … let’s move down to my point, Tolani could have said “I do not smoke” which sounds a little more pleasant, right? And she could have been convinced to give smoking a try, but she chose to answer them based on her identity- that she is not a smoker.

Far from smoking or drinking, the period of singleness like I said one where we have to recognize who we are by building a strong relationship with one’s self. When we work on understanding who we really are, we not only make decisions that affects us positively in our daily life, but we can also understand what we want our relationship to look like in respect to who we are, (if I am a preacher, I should actually look out for someone who is a lover of the gospel, so that together we can share the word), we will also be able to identify our fears, hurts from the past and insecurities and be able to heal from them if not totally, at least to a reasonable extent so that we won’t be a burden to our future partner, if this period is also well spent, we will be able to recognize our actual needs and also know how to communicate them to our future partners even if we don’t know them (our partner) well. It also saves you the stress of jumping from one relationship to the other.

But all these in the period of singleness? How do we know the right way to connect with our self and accept and improve our identity? By first building a strong relationship with a greater person that knows more about our identity, that is God, by allowing Him to instill in us everything that we need and that will mold us for what is coming ahead. Wait, I know this also might seem a little bit hard to but you really have to be ready for the process of God remolding and reshaping you into who you really need to become. You can also get mentors (in the spiritual and relationship aspect) that can lead you to understanding how to gain clarity about yourself and all aspects of your life including your relationship.

Know that relationship is not all about sex, pleasure, money, positions and all other peripherals, but to confirm this, and to make relationship more than just dating to break up or dating for the wedding day and then living to regret the whole process over and times again, know that there is a great need to be clear about who you are.

 

 

 Lessons from Singlehood

Being Single is a complete learning season in the life of a man. It comes as a gift and must be lived to its fullest. This is why it follows extreme wisdom to handle properly, what singlehood entails.

One basic lesson learnt in single hood is the knowledge that you must walk into God’s plan and be ordered into what He’s ordained for you. The season must be maximised because when it wraps up, no one can turn back the hands of time. Enjoy it while it lasts. There’s a time to be single and a time to be married.
 


Before you say, “I do” Understand that as a lady, you’re first the BRIDE OF CHRIST before you’ll become the WIFE OF A MAN. Isaiah 54:5 same for the guys. When the Scriptures admonish us to LOVE GOD…it is enough to make us have good relationships, in loving God you will fall in love with yourself, and only then can you love people as you should. The Holy Spirit gives us the capacity for divine love.

Before you say, “I do” Learn to be whole and secure. Sweethearts, you’re not defined by your marital status. Your life doesn’t start or begins the very day you start a relationship or get married, it has started since yesterday when you had your first cry. So hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love, but never dare put your life on hold for love. Your identity is not found in your relationship status but who you are in Christ Jesus.

Before you say, “I do” find true happiness in your life. Don’t wait for a mate to make you happy. Of course, two is better than one and your partner must be such a shoulder to lean on yet you must be a happy somebody. I shared with our married daughters that no husband can fulfill the ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives. You must learn to be happy. Happiness is said to be a choice, this is the pathway to fulfillment in life and marriage.

Before you say, “I do” learn to build and enjoy friendship with your immediate family, friends, and neighbours.

A romantic relationship is not the only relationship you need in life. We are social beings, learn how to relate, and tolerate people. Social intelligence is very important. I watched a very hot-tempered lady fighting her little sister with harmful objects. In annoyance, she left for her fiance’s house and said angrily, “When am I leaving my Father’s house?” #smiling She thought getting married is a way of escape.

Before you say, “I do” Find a meaning to your life and get busy with it. Explore your talents and gifts, go after your interest and passion. What should you start doing? Stop delaying/postponing it. I dare you to start being a blessing to lives.

Before you say, “I do” God wants you to learn SELF-CONTROL. I know what it means to have urged as a single lady sometimes it gets so tense I had to pray in tongues. Why would God put this urge in my body when I am not allowed to have sex before marriage? It is to teach us self control. I and my husband have had times on the mission field where we couldn’t act husband_and_wife for a Month. #NoShow and we were good. Train your body.

More so, marriage doesn’t solve all your sexual issues/problems, please seek counsel and get healed before tying the knot.

Before you say, I do” embrace a mentorship relationship and be accountable to people who have spiritual authority over you. My husband was having counselling sessions with a married woman who reported how unruly her husband has been. Hubby asked her to report him to his parents, pastor or mentor to which she replied, “He doesn’t listen to ANYBODY and he has no mentor”

Who is your Father?
Prayerfully submit to a mentor.
Build quality Relationships… Family, friends, etc

Before you say, “I do” learn financial prudence. Who wants to marry a man who gambles with money? Who wants to marry a lady whose life investment is in a shopping spree?

Give yourself a nice treat but learn how to manage your finance. You’re not too old to have a piggy bank, savings, and investment schemes. Start learning how to draw a scale of preference/priority. Cut down unreasonable spendings.

Before you say, I do” understand that your marriage is all about the KINGDOM. Your marriage is ordained to be a blessing. There’s a lot God will achieve through the union of two people who are sold out to His Kingdom. God wants to model a GODLY MARRIAGE to the world, He needs your marriage as a Model. Be purposeful about your relationships.

 

7 Things to do While in Your Season of Singleness

Even after talking about the importance of self-identity, some of us still find it hard to believe that knowing yourself alone will help you get your dream relationship, well… hell no! that alone won’t do the job, but it is the most important part of everything, the foundation of the building which if not well laid will give rise to future problems. With this knowledge to run with, we can then say that there are other things that we should spend our time doing while we are single. And those things are what we will be talking about today.

1. Find Yourself

Self-discovery and self-identity can never be over emphasized. 

2. Meet new People

It is so easy to feel out of place especially if your friends are already in a relationship or if all the time relatives pressure you to get into a serious relationship. But one of the things to do is meet new people, make friends, but be careful not to get over intimate that you start to catch feelings.

• Spend time with married couples:

One might ask me why this point, but the truth is that if you spend time with married couples you will be able to know even more how shape your relationship, how you want your relationship to look like, what things might raise dusts after marriage and what ways to solve problems.

• Read:

If you are someone like me you might prefer more of audiobooks, but whichever way, entertain yourself and at the same time find a book/books on an area of interest and get to know more about it.

• Think of new habits and love your hobby: 

If there is any time to have the most adventurous life, it is the time of singleness, because the single life is all about you so have to take it as a time to know more about things that you love, things like shopping, swimming, eating, dancing, traveling and the likes. Know when you love doing those things and how much you enjoy doing them.

6. Enjoy Your Single Life

Being single can be really be a fun time in your life, yes fun time. Work hard and play hard, don’t let anything stand in your way of easing off the tension from all over and at this time you can take your time to learn more about the person of your dream, and take your time finding them. Enjoy your single life while it lasts.

7. Stay single: 

One of the best ways to also enjoy this period is to actually stay single as long as you need to get back yourself, the best way of being single is by being single. Take all the time you need till you are finally ready for the relationship life.

Conclusion

If steps like this can be followed you will not only enjoy the period of singleness, but you would have gotten yourself a ticket to having a great relationship.

 

How to Identify Red Flags in a Relationship

Red flags

We saw this red flag but then we continue thinking things will work out or because we feel stuck and we don't know how to walk out of it or the feeling of what will people think of me!

This is a big shout out to the men & women out there who know what they wanted and did not settle for less. I will talk about it later in the day.

7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Going into A Relationship

 

Three Ps You Must Engage in Your Relationship

 While it is true that there are many things that can help a relationship grow stronger,  there can only be a better summary for them all. This is why we have these three PS to cover everything that you need to grow your relationship. 

1. Praise your Partner.

There’s nothing as sweet as hearing your partner tell you sweet things about yourself. It’s so  sweet and it's better  than hearing it from someone else. If you have watched Laju Iren's mini-series titled  "During Ever After”, you would discover that the absence of that singular act caused a lot in their marriage. This is why you can just steal someone when you tell them something about them that their partner doesn’t.

2. Pamper your partner.

You don’t need to wait till you have so much money to pamper your partner. A gift in Data, airtime, money, etc as little or much as you can would do. Partners should not be stingy, thus helping each other to feel valuable.

When you’re broke, you should still give. That should be how much they mean to you.  Pamper them with the things they need and the things that matter to them.

3. Pray for your partner.

Please, pray, even if you’re single. You can possibly have a special prayer journal for them where you write and speak words into their lives. The truth is, if you are wrong with anything, it cannot be with prayer. 

One of the many things about prayer is that when it's effects come to happen in your relationship, you won’t be surprised because you have prayed about it before now— you’d just keep reaping the fruits.

Many relationships fail because they do not put these things in place rightly.  When you do, then, you would deserve its success. You won’t be confused and things would come easier than you thought. 

How to Discuss Money in Your Relationship

In 1st Timothy 6:10, the Bible says that the love of money is the root of all evil. However, money in itself is a requirement to successfully live the good life that you desire and your relationship is definitely included in that good life. 

There are many conversations on various matters that concern couples that at times, we forget that there is thee issue of money. Many people believe that money conversations, especially in a relationship are awkward. This is not true. Money is a crucial subject in every relationship and must be discussed with an open mind. When you feel awkward about such an important conversation, you would likely begin to shy away from it, and this can have adverse effects.

Keep the romance: Go on money dates
Though it is a money talk, you don’t want it to be all rigid and boring by making the atmosphere tense and setting a wrong pace for conversations. You can choose to have an affordable fun outing that ends up with dinner. Alternatively, especially if you are married, you can decide to cook each other’s favourite meals and have fun at that. The idea is to keep the atmosphere beautiful and calm.

Stick to a schedule
With so much happening around us these days, we can unintentionally forget even the most important things. In order not to fall into this 21st-century trap you should commit to reminding each other about the date in a fun way. You can step up your game by setting secret love alarms on your partner’s phone; popping up a few days to the date. The alarms should have short beautiful heartfelt messages and a reminder attached.

Discuss your money goals together

If you want to be serious about financial progress, you have to set goals. Starting an investment plan, together or individually, is a good way to realize your financial goals in a rewarding manner. If you don’t have financial goals you are building up for already you can set one and review on subsequent money dates. For reviews, you would both get to assess how well you are doing with your commitments and how to improve if there is a need to.

You can set up a joint savings account with your loved one, using Circles.

Start a budget game
Even though you might invest together, you would spend individually. A date like this presents a good time to assess individual spendings. It is a moment for individual reflections, and not a time to castigate one another. So take turns to speak and encourage each other to do better where there is slack. You can design individual budgets and grow together.

Taking out time to speak about your money would not only help improve your financial life but help reduce stress and anxiety according to Britney Castro; a financial expert. Also, it would help promote transparency between both of you and that would help strengthen your bond. You should get started with it and share your experience with us when you do; if you don’t mind.

10 Things You Can Do on Valentine’s Day to Make Her Fall in Love with You Again.

I won’t dispute the fact that it can be a lot of work to please your lady on valentine’s day. As much as this is true it can also be the same for men. Also, I totally agree that valentine’s day can be a tasking day. In this session of love, one of the problems men face is knowing what to do for their partner to make her happy and enjoy the day. This is even a tougher task for those that would not like to ask their partner what she would want for valentine’s day, they would rather like to surprise her and make her. Today’s article is just for you because not only will you get to know what to do for her on valentine’s day, you will also make her fall in love with you over again.

1. Give Her A Call

It is valentine’s day! what lady will not love to wake up to her man’s voice wishing her a happy valentine’s day? This is one of the things we can call a valentine’s day appetizer, when you are done with this you can send some more goodness her way. Trust me, this is not only about you calling her, it is more about you creating time for her even in whatever busy schedule you have. Watch her stylishly and proudly narrate it to her friends with joy on her face. 

2. Surprise Her

here, I need you to take some time to reflect on the things you have heard your girl talk about over and over again, what is that thing she cannot say enough of, what is that thing you even feel she nags about? That is the specimen to making this year’s valentine’s day a day to remember. This might mean you have to go out of your way, but since you will love to make her fall in love with you again, I think it is worth it, Do it for her! She might have been asking you to spend more time with her, or take her out, whatever it may be, valentine’s day is the best day to surprise her with that thing.

3. Send Her a Message

sending her a message to wake up to is another way to help start such a beautiful day. This will mean more to a lady that rarely gets an SMS from her partner. You can even decide to send the message during the day when you feel like she expects to see such a message least. Try this and see how valentine’s day will be lit with so much joy and love. We can call this another type of appetizer.

4. Pray for Her

if you feel that your lady is a lover of the Lord, you can choose to speak greatness into her being. She might even be surprised by this but she is going to love it. You can choose to do this over a call. You can decide to spice things up and make it a declarative prayer. With this, you get to speak greatness into her life and your relationship. You should try this one out. She is going to fall in love with you not only you spoke greatness into her life but because she probably never saw it coming.

5. Sing for Her

This sounds really funny, especially if as a man you don’t have the Bruno Mars or DJ Khaled kind of voice. You don’t think you have the Dunsin Oyekan type of voice. Here is what you should do, let her know that you would love to make her smile (at this moment she is going to be super curious as to what you are up to) then tell her to sit comfortably in a chair (we don’t want her to break her back while she is laughing), then play the song you want to sing her softly in the background then sing along (this is to help as a guide for your singing). I don’t know if you can feel it already but there is so much joy, laughter, and love in the air already. But if you are that man with the voice of a nightingale, carry on brother sing your way into her heart on valentine’s day and make her fall deeply in love with you just like you just started your relationship.

6. Take Her out on a date

for you, you can decide to call this your main course. Whoosh! I am sure with this you have already given her the best valentine’s day already. Bro, don’t panic. You don’t have to take her to the 5-star restaurant when you cannot afford to go that route. Again, here is what you can do. Tell her to prepare for a little date, take her to that restaurant you can afford. When you are seated, let her know that you are aware that she deserves to be taken out to someplace better than where you took her because she deserves really great things. After all, she is your queen but at the moment, you can’t afford the really big places but when the time comes, she is always on the top of your list. You don’t have to say it this way but you get the point. This way, you are not only making her feel loved, but you are also giving her more assurance that you see her. She will also feel her importance because of your vulnerability to her. One last thing bro, this is not the time to feel like you got everything together, be a little vulnerable with her.

7. Long Distance Relationship? Have a Video Call: who said valentine’s day cannot be super interesting for couples in Long Distance Relationship? If you can send a gift her way, great! You can then top it all up by asking her what time she will be free, then have a nice video call. It doesn’t need to be a very long one but if you both have enough time (which I advise that you create) you should appreciate her and her impact on your life since you started dating. You can even decide to initiate a review of how your relationship has been together since you started.

5 ways to keep a Long-Distance Relationship Alive.

 

8. Help Her with a Task: yes, because it is valentine’s day does not have her regular daily activities. Valentine’s day is one day to help her with a task that she needs help with as long as you are together. If you are in a long-distance relationship and the task is something that does not require your physical presence, you should also create time to do it for her.

9. Buy Her a Gift: yep, this is probably the first thing you were expecting me to say, here we are. buy her that gift. Just like taking her out, you don’t have to break a bank but get her something that you know she will love and be able to hold unto for a while.

10. Tell Her How Much You Love Her: trust me, this is one thing that most men don’t do often. Choose valentine’s day to tell her how much she means to you and how much you love her and don’t make valentine’s day be the only day you will tell her how much you love her. Make this a daily practice - remember the goal is to make her fall in love with you again and again.

Conclusion

Taking a close look at all the tips shared above, you would notice that all of them aim at satisfying the major need of a woman- to feel loved. Yes, every lady loves to feel loved no matter the difference in their love language. We want her to feel loved because that is the only way she can love back. I hope you get to make her fall in love with you again this valentine’s day. Remember to make every day your valentine’s day.

Love is Beautiful.

macy for LDRs (Bo5 reasons why keeping a joint relationship journal is essential for you and your 

Should You Spiritualize Everything In Your Relationship?

Yesterday, we discussed self-love before romantic love. I hope now you know that you are not selfish just because you are showing yourself care. Someone once asked me, ‘Do you think it is appropriate to spiritualize everything in my relationship?’ Trust me, the question was a tricky one but I ended up saying NO. 

Today, I will be sharing with you why I think you should not spiritualize everything in your relationship.

Spirituality has to do with your concern and dedication to God. It has to do with your love for God and how connect with Him. As children of God, we should understand that there is no part of our existence that we should exclude God from. In John 15:5 Jesus said: “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” Jesus Christ has already made it clear that if we are his and he is ours we will have a great life, a life that will show forth good things including good relationship. But the moment we detach from him, we can do nothing. Having a good relationship with God will help us to choose who to be in a relationship with.

Nevertheless, we must know that we have an unspoken 11th commandment- Do your will. God in His infinite goodness has given us the grace of free will to make decisions that we think are best for us. But in His wisdom and mercy, He has given us the Holy Spirit to direct us every time we need to make a decision. It is true that the spiritual controls the physical but with the presence of the Holy Spirit in your life you never have to make any bad decisions as long as you are willing you follow His instructions.

Failure to involve the Holy Spirit in all that you do is the beginning of problems in your life but your life including your relationship because you will make the wrong decisions thinking that you have done something right. Let me tell you a little about Brian and Mercy.

Both of them are Christians and have been courting for two years and four months. They attended a seminar where the speaker- Nicholson Jacklar mentioned that it is important for individuals to know their health conditions before they got married. A couple of days after the seminar they both decided to go for a medical checkup and they got to know that Brian is AS while Mercy is AC. One would expect them to know the right thing to do (seek counsel and find ways to go their separate ways) but they decided to pray about it because they are in love with each other.

The presence of the Holy Spirit in you will help you to know when to pray when to seek advice from experienced people when to be patient with your partner or when to communicate with him or her. Families crumble just because they are waiting on God to lead them when they are just supposed to help out their partner with something or listen to each other.

Yes! We need God in our relationship but we need to be wise enough to know when to act and when to wait. Not everything needs to be spiritualized. 

Love is beautiful and we can nurture it to bliss.

Who Should Say Sorry First in a Relationship?

Ever thought about why some issues get unsolved in a relationship- issues that could have been solved in a bit but lead to the ruin of the whole relationship. EGO! O yes, we all have egos, male and female, we do. There are times when we all feel like our partner doesn’t just understand. I mean, you are trying to state a point but he just doesn’t seem to get the point and this pisses you off. You try to make her see that you are right and she was wrong, that she made a very wrong assumption, but she is not even getting the point and this leads to feelings of anger, fear, resentment, jealousy, insecurity, and all other negative feelings.

Darling, all these happen as a result of ego. We all have to learn how to control our ego because if we leave it unchecked, it can cause tremendous turmoil in our relationship. I became so confused the day something as small as a greeting ruined a friend’s relationship. Of course, it couldn’t have been just a greeting, I mean what life does a greeting have in it to ruin a relationship of two years. So, it all started with a discussion of who is supposed to greet first when they meet, Tomiwa always greeted Kunle first when they meet, while Kunle feels like the guy in the relationship and just says a cool “hi, how are you?” it happened that Tomiwa got tired of the way she has to always run over to Kunle to greet him- he never greets her first, she feels like she is not valued. Then she decided to talk about it one night just 5 days before their second year together. Long story short, Kunle feels like he will be belittling himself to first greet his girl- she tries to make him see reasons he should consider doing it once in a while but he didn’t agree to any of those reasons. At last, the whole thing crashed, why? Kunle will never greet first and Tomiwa has decided to go on a greeting break. That became the end of their love story.

The moment you chose not to take responsibility for your mistakes, you have started opening doors for problems to creep into your relationship. Saying “sorry” means that you have chosen your relationship over your ego. Yet so many of us find it super hard to apologize and admit that we are at fault. Social psychologists have stated that an apology leads to forgiveness which can recover a spoiled relationship and may heal indignity. Apologizing is super essential because it helps to soothe all the frictions caused by a conflict in a relationship and build a connection between couples. When you apologize for your wrongs not only will peace reign but there will be an increase in the level of trust between you and your partner.

When you are sorry, mean it. “With every ounce of apology, there has to be ample sincerity.” Lolonyo (Nurturing Bliss).

“Deep regret goes further than just saying you are sorry. Deep regret says that if I could turn the clock back, and if I could do anything about it, I would have liked to have avoided it.” F.W. de Klerk.

 This is to say that when you apologize you do that by recognizing that you have wronged your partner and that you never had the intention of doing that. Be true about how you feel, what made you do what you did, and truly let them know that you will avoid situations like that in the future. For example, say “I am sorry I suddenly stopped replying to you last night, I didn’t mean to leave you on blue ticks, I fell asleep.” As much as you might want to think that sleeping off during a chat is just nature's call and not your fault, your apologizing will show that you didn’t mean to ignore the person. 

A lot of us just also want to say sorry passively while not taking responsibility for our actions. This is bad. It is only right to own up to one’s mistake and not try to be defensive about it.

The manner and timing are not only as important as sincerity but they should be carefully chosen. This will aid the way the apology goes and how it will be taken in by your partner. It is important to choose a time that both of you are free to talk and do well to also get rid of all distractions and make sure that your body language doesn’t speak something different from what you mean. But why the worry about how to sincerely apologize when the real thing is to figure out who is apologize

 first- it might just interest you to know that it would be as bad as not knowing who to apologize first if you don’t know how to apologize in the right way.

So, back to the question of who should go first. There is a need for us to know that in a relationship, there are times you have to make sacrifices and compromise just so that you can have peace in your relationship. There is no way to sugarcoat this, there are times when even when you are right about a particular situation, you just need to be a mature person and just apologize for peace to reign so that the atmosphere will be at ease and effective communication and understanding will take place. The truth is that it can be really hard to apologize for something that you didn’t do in the first place but when you look at the reason for you being together and you think about what truly is at stake, you will surely consider apologizing. Take Tomiwa and Kunle for example- in the process of telling Kunle that she doesn’t feel like she is valued or loved in the relationship, she might have yelled and nagged about it. The truth is Kunle might be at fault, but the moment Tomiwa noticed that things weren’t going well, she could have also admitted that she said somethings that are wrong and that could have wronged Kunle and apologized for them then think of the best way to put the whole situation out at that moment or later- she could have been the matured person. But they chose to not see through the whole situation.

In no way should this be a gender-sensitive matter- as long as you recognize that you need peace, go for it.

Never let your ego set in, be the bigger person. Save your relationship from avoidable stress.

Who should say sorry first? The more mature one should say sorry first.

How to Stand in God's Will for Your Relationship

At one point in time or the other, you must have heard or read something about God's will. However, there is always a new side in the understanding of God's will and the importance of standing therein. To begin, our anchor verse in Isaiah 55.8 reads:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

You recall that a popular saying - Man proposes, God disposes? This may not directly mean the same as this verse, but then it is quite similar.

 

Man was created in the image of God. Everything by default was God replicated. However, since the fall, there was a change in systems. Man's thoughts, will and mind changed from the original. One way to know this is that by the default in creation, man was not expected to chase after things (money, relationships, career, success.. etc.) Everything was supposed to chase after man as long as he is focused on God. This is later confirmed when we were instructed to seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness...

Since man fell, his mind and will began to chase after the things that were originally meant to follow him. This is where the issue of staying in God's will comes in.

Most times, when we try to chase after the things that should run after us, we trust our instincts and leave out God. In some cases whenever we choose to carry Him along, we leave His will and opinion as a Plan B. Standing in God's will basically means that you are rightly placed in God and positioned where He wants you to be. It means you have only Plan A and nothing else. It is only then that everything else can chase after you and fall in the right order.

This message is coming at a time when many individuals are not properly positioned for God's blessings as regards relationships. You cannot confuse God. A relationship outside God's will is a wrong relationship. If you chase that lady/man (outside God's will) from now till next year and she finally consents, you are still on your own. God's will should not be replaced by anything.

At this point, I know that you may want to ask or say something about the  permissive will of God. Truth is, the permissive will of God still needs His consent. In this case, you still have to ask His permission to go ahead. Falling totally out of God's will is the case where you strictly stick to your own opinion and trust your instincts to go on.

Let's head somewhere specific now. How Can one Stand and Remain in God's will? Finding, standing and remaining in God's will requires that you get three basic things right.

 

Get Understanding

Knowledge and understanding  Understanding opens up a level of grace that brings direction. Imagine that you visit a friend and you stand at the gate. The gate has a kind of security lock that you do not understand. If you stand before the gate  without knowing how to open it, you'd just keep wasting your time. Understanding gives access and allows the grace for directions to flow in. If you are seeking God's face to know His will over any matter, ensure that you understand what you are asking for. Knowledge and understanding comes through many ways. It is only necessary that you understand the part of God's will that you are coming to.

 

Get Direction

Many things come as a result of directions, but you can only get direction based on what you understand. In God's direction, you will find speed.

Take for example, you buy a car and do not know how to drive. If you get into the car and start the engine without knowing how to drive, you'd be ready to meet your saviour😂. But then if you ask directions, learn and "follow who know road", you will find yourself doing just the right thing and save your self from great evil.

 

Always Follow Directions

It is one thing to have knowledge and understanding. It is another thing to get instructions and direction. It is yet another thing to be able to follow these instructions to the letter. If you get into a city and you do not know the routes, you either ask direction and follow them or stick to your instincts and get lost. For many relationships alike, people choose to trust their instincts and head into the bush instead of following God's leading. The relationship gists you see online and social media advice is not enough reason to trust your instinct and jump into a relationship. Ask God for directions and follow them.

For another illustration, If you are writing an examination, you are tested on what you know and understand. However, that alone is not enough. The examiner will definitely give you instructions which you are meant to follow. If you are supposed to answer 4 questions and then you answer all, it may cost you marks and vice versa.

You must learn that Instructions are God's instruments to keep us in line with His will.

I think I have said so much already at this time and I trust God's spirit to treat these words in your heart just as it concerns you. Let me give a recap here quickly.

How to stand and remain in God's will

• Get understanding from God (Read books about God's will and how it works. Listen to sermons, seek counsel)
• Get directions from Him (through every means God communicates to you)
• Follow the directions (He did not give them to you so that they live in your journals forever)

I'd also like to mention a few things which are instructional too.

1. When you trust your instincts and go into a relationship outside God's will, you are simply settling for less. God's will is premium quality that you cannot afford to lose.

2. When you are outside God's will for your life and your relationship, you have everything to lose.

And lastly before we open up for questions, I'd like to assure you that God will never lead you anywhere outside His will. If He is leading you at all, it is only into His perfect will for you.

Sisi Salewa (Infatuation or Love)

Hey lovely, it is a beautiful day today and I hope you are enjoying your day? I appreciate your showing up again today. I am going to be telling you an interesting story today. A story about a young lady and her relationship life.

It was early in the morning around 6 am when Salewa jogged past him that faithful Saturday morning on the third mainland bridge. He was a tall, dark and handsome guy- Salewa’s spec on top of that, he was well built.

Six-packs - Check.

Broad shoulder - Check.

She melted at the sight of him as her heart raced faster than her legs had gone in the last 20 minutes that she has been jogging. Salewa seemed to be trapped in time, her feet could become so slow that a tortoise would have outrun her. She kept on staring at him till he faded out of her sight. Still facing his direction while she moved backward, she bumped into Tomide- a guy she met on her last trip to the Bahamas. Tomide stepping on her shoelace and hitting her shoulder, she popped like corn metamorphizing into popcorn at the same time regaining her consciousness.

What? They both exclaimed. Tomide whose running pace has been altered grabbed her and said, "Please! Watch where…" Before he could finish his sentence, he saw her face and immediately remembered her.

"You are the lady I meet on my last trip to the Bahamas", he said. Salewa gaining her ground again exclaimed, Tomide, right? And he nodded in affirmation. Salewa bending to tie her shoelace simultaneously asked, "What are you doing here?" Tomide, shaking his head left and right as if he was trying to shake down the answer down to his mouth answered, "I am here on a business trip that is going to last for the next 6 months, so let’s just say I am here to stay."

Standing up, she sighed heavily and said, you are welcome home. Still surprised at their meeting, they laughed and spent the next couple of minutes having a chit-chat about how the Bahamas was. Hearing her timer beep, she exclaimed, "Oh my God I am late!" 

Apparently, she had a program to attend. She rushed to say her goodbye as Tomide asked if she would like to hang out some other time, maybe Sunday evening. She agreed and they exchanged contact. She ran off smiling from ear to ear as she reminisced about the tall, dark, handsome and well-built guy she jogged past and all the memories she just shared with Tomide. She said to herself, "what a good day today is going to be". 

(Sigh) What if I told you that Salewa is a sister of mine and you need to pay attention and learn from her story because there is a lot to learn from it and because she shared it with me. Lol… Snap out of it! I only wish I have a sister called Salewa but I don’t. I am sure you enjoyed the story up until this moment. Thank you for traveling with me from wherever you are to the third mainland bridge. I hope you enjoyed the ride?

Join me tomorrow as we find out what happened when Salewa meets with Tomide the next day. Till tomorrow, keep smiling and say to yourself “love is beautiful and I will nurture it to bliss”. I love you. 

Part 2

The day was Sunday and service was awesome. The pastor preached about love and forgiveness. All through the service, Salewa could not get herself to stop thinking about the previous day and all that had happened which was as good as not being in the church. She was so absent-minded. Thoughts about how the tall, dark, and handsome guy jogged past her, his skin tone and his broad shoulders kept playing in her head. She imagined herself on a date with him and both of them jogging together. That she did till the end of the service. A couple of hours after getting home she got a call from Tomide reminding her of their hangout and where to meet. 

Fortunately for her, Tomide lived in an environment close to one of the best malls in town and as they walked into the mall Kola and Tomide saw each other from afar, exchanged friendly greetings, and talked for a moment. Guess who Kola is? The talk, dark, and handsome guy from the other day. Salewa’s face instantly lit up like a light bulb and she was so eager to be introduced by Tomide. She was barely able to keep her composure through the introduction, as soon as Kola left them and they walked into the restaurant in the mall, Salewa could not stop talking about how much she loved Kola and how she would do anything to make him happy. 

Tomide, still wondering what was happening made things worse by saying: I never knew you were into him but he lives right next door to me. She made it her mission to visit Tomide so she could find out where Kola stayed and she succeeded in doing that. The next day after work she hurried to grab a bottle of wine with the intention to visit Kola and make friends with him. Getting to his house, she introduced herself as Tomide’s friend and claimed she just wanted to say hello. Kola with a smile on his face let her into the house and offered her a seat. They had chatted for a while when Salewa mentioned that she jogged past him two days ago on the third mainland bridge. She also used that as an opportunity to express how she feels about him. Salewa expressed her “love” for him the best she could but somehow, he finds that hard to believe and with good reason, considering they’ve only just met and known almost nothing about each other.

But what do you think? Is Salewa truly in LOVE or is she just INFATUATED with Kola? Let me know what you think about the comment session. Till tomorrow, keep in mind that I love you and that love is beautiful. Let’s nurture it together.