Hold Up Review.

Today I will be reviewing a book titled Hold Up written by Nelson and Adeola. This book was published on their third year of courting (so sweet!). Before I start, I would like to state that this book does not deserve a 10 over 10 if I am to score it. Not at all.

The book- Hold up, was written by this couple for people in long distance relationship and it contains compilations of engaging activities that spice up any long-distance relationship. These activities are based on their own personal experience, it is so nice that they decided to share with other couples through this book ways to keep fueling their relationship even when they are miles apart.

A good number of activities were listed and well explained in this book- about 20 of them. They also shared 35 date ideas for partners and considering that they are a couple that help other people have a great relationship not only with their partner but with God- a Godly relationship, they also said a prayer at the end of the book.

From the point of view of a relationship coach, is this book goo? Is it a book that can be recommended to clients? YES! Definitely.

All the activities in the book can be performed by couples in long distance relationship and short distance relationship. All activities are very possible as long as you are open to adventure and trying out new things. All the activities were well stated and trust me, if you want to light up the flame in your relationship, don’t let this book slide past you.

Albeit, all the activities are nice and worth giving a try, I have a few that really stand out for me.

• Plan Your Future: as a relationship coach, I have noticed that not every couples does this. This particular activity is often overlooked and pushed into the when-the-time-comes-we-will-know-what-to-do lane. Planning your future with your partner should not be overlooked because it, will help you to know your partner even in a long-distance relationship. I love the way this activity was explained.

• Read a book together: if you haven’t been doing this in your relationship, it is never too late. Get a copy of Hold up and start with it.

• Have fun with one another: how on earth is that possible in a long-distance relationship? It is very possible and this book has simplified it in such a way that is not only easy but, in a way, that fun is all what your relationship will, be even when you are far apart from your partner.

• Prank your partner: this is my second-best activity in this book. Pranking can be really fun but risky if you don’t know what to do. If you will like to prank your partner, you will have to do it wisely.

• Pray and study with voice or video calls: considering that the couple are interested in helping you build a relationship with God and your partner, they made it so easy to try out this great activity.

To make use of any of these activities, you have to be open minded to change and try new things. The book is such a great read, it is worth every time you invest in it. All this relationship changing goodness in one book and it deserves a 10 over 10? No, it deserves more. Like 20 over 10 (if that is possible). To get the book (for free) click on this link 

twobecomeone.disha.page/

Book Review: 40 Great Lessons Marriage has taught Me by Pastor Jane Arowolo

The book, 40 Great Lessons Marriage has taught me" by Pastor Jane Arowolo is a resourceful book that helps you to discover the unrealistic expectations which couples bring into marriage, the challenges of young marriages, how to overcome differences, having a smooth relationship with in-laws, how to keep the fire of love burning and many other secrets to marital bliss.

The 78 paged book opens with an introduction with three questions that define the experience of couples in marriage. According to Mama Jane Arowolo, everyone should define marriage based on:

• Why you are getting married
• How you look at marriage
• What you expect from marriage

These questions determine your experience in marriage.

All 40 lessons are arranged into ten chapters, with each chapter treating four lessons. The first chapter talks about sex for newly weds, sex during Pregnancy and the real definition of romance.

No great marriage exists without great sex.  Also sex can be made out of duty and can be made as a result of love. We also learn that if you expect love in your relationship, you have to always give love.

Like sex, money is important for fruitful romance. It is a fantasy to go into marriage without expecting some changes.

That nothing will change when you get married is a lie. That everything will change when you get married is a bigger lie. Learn to change what you can change and accept what you cannot.

Five love languages are important. Know what works for you and your partner.

In-laws are family. You must treat them as such.  If you expect perfection from people, you will get frustrated. Don't go to marriage with a pepper lifestyle or plans to deal with any in-law. Character is ultimate when dealing with in-laws

A man's ego is as fragile as a woman's heart.

A woman is not wired to carry the financial burden of a family. She is a helper and not a sponsor.  If a woman carries financial burden, that becomes a quick way to lose your honour as a man.

Patience will change many things.

Your partner is a work in progress. Don't go into marriage with unrealistic expectations.

Somebody lacks what you have. Stop comparing your relationship or marriage with another's. -2nd Corinthians 10:12

The two golden rules are in Ephesians 5:22-23 and verse 25 respectively. When a marriage fails it is a sign that the rules have been disobeyed.

Reciprocate respect

Family is Royalty. There is a king, a queen,  princes and princesses. Learn humility in royalty.

There is also honour in royalty

Love is hard work. You need almost no effort to  fall in love but you need so much effort to stay  in love.

You must fall in love again and again with each other. You must also evaluate your relationship.

When children start growing, know that they are watching your steps and will likely walk in it.

You must determine to give the best impression and help them become better spouses in future.

A woman is fragile

Communication is the best way to handle conflicts. Don't stop talking.

Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband  or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.

Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages

Be a woman and don't feel cheated. You don't need to compete with your husband  or argue submission. You don't need to bring the law of rights and equality to marriage, thus changing the creator's narrative and manual. When your head is too big as a woman, your crown will not size you.

Also, get a mentor. Proverbs 20:18 talks about good and godly counsel for relationships and marriages

Instructions are never convenient but they are always profitable.

Variety is the spice of life as William Cowper's poem,  "The Task (1785)" puts it. Introduce new and exciting practices in your relationship. Get rid of routine and explore

With godly wisdom, bring new wine to the table of your relationship.

A woman is an administrator

There are three seasons in the life of a man. Morning, noon and evening. Treat the wife of your youth with care and love so that you last till evening and enjoy the benefits of building a godly home.

The fear of God in you guides your actions towards your spouse/partner. Unresolved conflicts will not make you enjoy God's presence in your relationship/marriage. God's presence detests strife and contention.

In marriage, God answers every cry for help. Learn the art of prayer. War with prayer! 

The best time to pray is when all is going smooth. A farmer who starts planting while others are harvesting will stay hungry. He will have to wait until those seeds germinate before he can eat.

There is no marriage in heaven. Your marriage can work out fine. Do not look at the failing marriages around you. Just do your part and let God bless your marriage.

 

The second chapter talks about Romance and finance, Romance and child nursing,  the principle of opposite sides attracting and the love language of spouses. On the other hand, chapter three goes on to talk about dealing with in-law and how life is a farm that obeys the law of sowing and reaping. She also writes about refusing to fight for yourself.

In chapter 4, mama Jane talks about feeding the man's ego and knowing how far to go as regards certain issues.  She also discuses the subject of domestic violence and the best way to teach. Chapter 5 goes on to tell is how a wife is a helper and a sponsor. Here, mama Jane Arowolo says that a woman should not fully take on the financial responsibility of the home. She also talks about how patience is a virtue and that your spouse is a work in progress. She ends this chapter saying that somebody lacks someth]ng you have.

In chapter 6, mama Jane talks about the greatest assignment in marriage. She then proceeds to talk about the two golden rules in the book of Ephesians. After this, she opens our eyes to 5how respect is reciprocal and that wisdom and knowledge are really needed in every marriage.

Chapter seven opens with the concept of royalty. It discusses how the man is a king in the palace and the woman is a queen in the palace. It also talks about how love is hard work and ends with the fact that your children (when they start coming) are always watching you.

In chapter 8 we learn that women are fragile and that men should learn to deal with it. We also. See a different side to handling conflicts and the need for a worthy mentor in your relationship or marriage. It finally discusses how rk be a woman without feeling cheated (shunning the extremist views of feminism)

Chapter 9 talks about variety being the spice of life and the need to avoid a boring relationship at all cost. To do this, you simply need to think. Out of the box and bring up. Exiting things, build. Memories and engage activities to make your relationship or. Marriage beautiful. This chapter then talks about the old. And new. Wine and the need for constant new, fresh Wine in your relationship or marriage. She then proceeds to talk about women being the best administrator in a marriage or relationship and how that there are three seasons in the life of a man (with specific emphasis on the evening of a man's life).

She concluded with chapter ten talking about the need for the fear of God and the presence of God in every relationship or marriage. She also talks about prayer, the greatest weapon in marriage and how that as believers, you. Must live your fullest in your marital life because there is no marriage in heaven...

 

This book is a true testament to the fact that God is still very interested in building perfect relationships and families. The author,  Pastor Jane Arowolo (popularly called mama Jane) has a mandate to teach what it takes to succeed in marriage.  She is a graduate of Public Administration from Ambrose Alli University  and has been into active ministry for over 18 years. She is a co-pastor at Glorious Dynamos Life Ministry and the Vice President of Success and Life Network.  She anchors "Direction for Singles and Married", "Ladies and Gents Conference", "Just4Ladies", "When Mother's Pray" and "Daughter's of Zion". She is happily married to her best friend, Apostle Wale John Arielle and their union is blessed with three covenant men.

 

Book Review: My Minimalist Wedding by Blessing Abeng & Uwem

My Minimalist wedding is simply described as a guide to pulling off a 100 guest wedding with a 2 million Naira plus budget in Nigeria. 

First, here’s a shoutout to Cowrywise for gifting us this book in February 2022. 

One thing the book is that it calmed “my fears” if it’s proper to call them fears.

Two, the book is an adjustable template. The numbers, prices and everything else can actually

Also, the realities of the book are relatable. Man has the ability to adapt and  to bring the best results

No matter how wealthy you are, your pockets have limits. This is why budgets are made. 

Another beautiful thing I loved about this book is its practicality. Every action had practical points

As I wrap up this review, if you’re wondering why I’m writing a review on Blessing and Uwem’s “My Minimalist Wedding”, I can’t help your thoughts😂🫠. I’m sorry I can’t say if you’re right or wrong but whatever the case is, you’d be fine😂😃.

Book Review: Prayer Deposits by Allison Hyacintho

You must be familiar with the: Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer... Prayer is the Master key. For some partners, their parents had started praying for their relationships before we knew anything about the subject.  So, most times we ask, do we still need to pray? 

 

In this book, we learn that Parents prayers serve as transfers into the relationship account, ours will be the Real Deposits. The prayer is to be deposited into a Godly Relationship, but we need to Clarify what makes a relationship Godly.

Attending vigils, Bible study classes, anointing and communion services together with your partner doesn't make it godly neither does introducing your partner to your pastor. Since God is at the centre of your individual lives then He will definitely be at the center of your relationship. The book also explains tha the presence of God at the centre of your relationship is what makes it a godly one.

If God is not the first part of your life as a person, you will end up becoming some boring God chaser who is struggling to create an image of God in your relationship. Also, the closer you draw towards God on your own, the more exciting it will be drawing towards God with your partner. It will be a combination of each partner's personal spiritual growth to making tje relationship work.

Another point to note is that Prayers cannot be boring. There is so much to and gist to God about in ptayers. God is always ready to listen too. Prayer is a commubication and it will be boring if you only do the talking without letting God respond. Unfortunately, this is how many individuals today make their prayers. So the question again - Why do we need to inculcate prayer into our relationship?

Prayer is necessary because when we know 'why' we pray then 'how' to pray will be easy for us. You may ask why we should pray when we can go an a treat, but then Allison Hyacintho describes in his book that prayer should be a personal lifestyle.

Prayer helps you to understand and unlock mysteries, thus shaping individual and collective growth as well as foster a deeper fellowship with God. It helps the believer to get drunk with communication to God. This is because you can not claim to love someone you don't talk to. So it's not just a "command", it is a fuel for the fire of love

 

In prayer, you also seek communion and Fellowship. It helps the believer to seek approval from God, enhance Communication and build more connection spiritually. By this, there is help to avoid sexual sin as it instills the fear of God to keep the fire of love burning in both hearts. Prayer also helps to make both partners subject to God, settle quarrels easily and  remain faithful to God and themselves. It is to learn what loving the father means as well and take the lessons. As such, Our prayer deposit should not be regarded as an herculean task. 

 

One certain way to make the prayer deposits we hope to send to the Author of Romance, romantic is by Praying as you Talk. As prayer means talking to God, so the tip is TALK TO GOD AS YOU TALK. Any conversation which acknowledges the sweet presence of God is prayer.” The point is not to turn Domino's to revival ground when you pay a visit to celebrate Valentine. The best part about acknowledging God’s presence in your conversations is that it guides your consciousness. I mean, every word proceeding out of your mouth after that prayer will be words seasoned with love, faith, and positivity. You two will become conscious of your words towards that challenge, because of the faith that orders your words. This is so amazing, the way you start speaking about that challenge with power and authority. Decisions become easier to take in faith that everything is now possible because God is now part of it. Your perspectives begin to align, fear disappears, that is the mental level  of acknowledging God takes you.

Here are some prayer patterns that can help you make prayer a part of your everyday conversation.

You can stop in the middle of a conversation with your partner and suggest “let us pray about this for a minute baby.” For instance, when you are in the middle of an important discussion that requires making a decision or maybe you are talking about a challenge that looks like you are going to need God’s help, invite Him into your conversation by simply acknowledging His presence. Say  “Lord, we know you are here listening, we recognize your presence as we ask for your help with this situation. Amen.” then go back to what you were discussing. It's that simple, you just prayed a powerful prayer .

If you two are going through a heated argument or a fight, pause in the middle of trying to win the fight and say: “you know what baby, God will not be happy with us doing this. Let us just pause here and invite Him to calm our hearts and emotions."Then pray.

 

Learn how to pray for your calendar and schedules. You don’t need to have vigils before you can speak a word of prayer as your partner is sharing their plans and projects with you. You also need to use positive confessions in your words. They are prayers too. Confess that you are a winner, you are a success, and that the interview will favour you. Confess that the project is already a finished testimony. Speak positive words into each other’s plans as you talk.

Lastly, you don't have to wait for a convenient time to communicate with God because He doesn’t need a convenient time to listen. Talk to God and your partner about it in joint prayers.

Major lessons from the review.

• A Godly Relationship begins with you. 
• Prayers can be as simple as our normal conversations. 
• Pray as much as you talk. 
• You can talk to God anytime because He doesn't have a schedule.
  

 

The book Prayer Deposits, authored by Allison Hyacintho was published in December 2017. You can get a copy by visiting the author's website here.