Managing Exes in Your Relationship

I generally believe that there are two kinds of exes - the troublesome ones and the non troublesome ones. 

It is really annoying to have people from your past bring back memories that you have taken your all to put behind you. This is why it’s important to learn how to manage your own ex(es) while your relationship or marriage is alive - if you want it to remain so.

When you have a partner, who has his or her ex coming back to be unnecessarily friendly with your partner, it could raise a lot of dust in your relationship and can cause even you to become an ex if the issue cannot be solved.

When we talk about exes, there is a need to know what caused the break up in the first place: it could’ve been that the previous relationship was toxic or both partners decided breakup the relationship on a mutual base. It might have been due to genotype issues or family issues. Whatever it maybe, there is a need to know what caused the breakup. When we know what the problem was, we would know how to handle the ex.

Even in this age, we have people who think having an ex is bad, but the truth is that is not bad. Having an ex or exes doesn’t make you the worst person on earth, maybe luck hasn’t been on your side. Never judge a person by the number of people they have been in a relationship with.

Things happen in different relationships that cause break up, but it is good to make sure that the break up is a sharp one; it has to be in clear terms so both parties will be sure that there’s hardly any chance of getting back together especially if one of them is in another relationship. So, if there’s any case of lingering feelings coming back to the surface, you have something to hold on to as a reason for the break up. This is good to avoid further break up on both sides 

 Most people have the wrong notion about exes and this makes them feel like it is a bad thing to ever be in touch with their exes. Being friends with your ex if you left on good terms is good. In cases where the previous relationship was broken up because of physical abuse, it is best to keep away from the each other. That is best so that both parties will keep safe emotionally, psychologically, physically and in all other part of their life. In cases where the abuser will not agree to respect the other person, it will be good to set clear boundaries with the person.

In cases whereby you have moved on, and started a new relationship, it is good and fair to make sure that your new partner knows all about your past. if you have an ex coming back your present partner should know about it. So, the two of you can find the best way to handle it together. If there are cases where by you and your ex had children, or in case of lingering feelings coming to the surface, it is best that you don’t hide it from the person you are looking to date  so they can tell if they can handle it or not. It is best that your present partner or the person you are looking to dating should be someone you can open up to freely and be sure that the two of you can handle the situation maturely. 

In cases where you feel like you cannot tell your partner about your ex and things that happened between you two, you can tell your mentor or coach or someone that can give you a good advice. 

You and your partner should also have a mentor or a coach that you can discuss these things with and you get good advice if you’re not sure you can trust your partner to handle it maturely.

Conclusion

Every person entering into a relationship comes with a bag pack full of their past experiences, fears, hurts and expectations for the future. Patience and effective communication in needed to be able to work on a lot of things together and build a relationship that both partners appreciate. 

7 Lessons from Queen Esther and King Xerxes

The story of Esther and Xerxes is common to many people as it is one of the Bible stories told over and over again. It Is the story of a young lady who through her character and obedience, finds favour and becomes the queen of king Xerxes in place of Queen Vashti. Looking into their story, below are some lessons we can learn from them both.

1. Esther was obedient. She was obedient to her uncle, she was obedient to Hegai who was in charge of her and her obedience paid off as she found favour and became the queen. Her obedience made her significant and it was her obedience that later saved her people from perishing. A woman who desires a positively exemplary home has to be obedient to God, her husband, parents and other authorities once it's not contradicting to the word of God and what she believes in.

2. King Xerxes was a man who knew what he was looking for and when he found Esther, he didn't hesitate to make her his. The Bible says he loved Esther more than all the other women that had come and he made her queen immediately. As we look forward to having homes in the future, it is important to spend time in prayer and with God, conversing with Him about what we want and what He'd have us do. This would save us stress of doing trial and error relationships and would make it more easy to recognize your partner when he or she comes.

Read- Respect in Courtship: Who deserves it more?

3. King Xerxes was almost always seeking the opinion of others. As a king, it was important but there were some decisions he could have made himself. Some of the opinions others gave him led to problems and didn't help the situation. Even if we seek for the opinion of others, we should weigh it with what we believe and think of the consequences before carrying such out.

4. Esther had to save her people from the threat of Haman. When she heard, and after she was spoken to by her uncle Modecai, she ordered that she and her maids and those who served her to not eat but to pray and seek God's face as she knew the consequences of visiting the king without him asking for her. A woman knees needs to be close to the ground and her voice constantly heard in heaven interceding for her family and that concerns her. This also applies to men. Both men and women have to understand the importance of prayer and apply it to their everyday lives.

5. King Xerxes had anger issues thus it took a woman who had studied and understood him and was wise enough to handle him. Don't make assumptions in relationships. Know as much as possible the person you're building with, with hopes to spend the rest of your life with and when there are signs, don't ignore them.

6. Esther knew her husband's weakness and used it to her advantage. She knew he loved wine and when he was in good spirits he could do anything. Thus, she used it to her advantage. We shouldn't use our partner's weaknesses against them but use it in a way that would benefit both of us. Esther could have died thus, initiating another search for another queen but she used King Xerxes weakness to save herself, her people and her marriage.

Read: When Spirituality bows to Emotions

7. King Xerxes had the habit of making decisions without thinking through. He was unwise in making many decisions which led to dire consequences. He made decisions without thinking through and for which when he had a rethink was too late or almost  too late. For example when queen Vashti was removed, when he gave Haman the authority to wipe out the Jews etc. As men and ladies, we are not to make decisions without thinking of the consequences and how it would affect not just us but every other person around us.

5 Relationship Lessons from the Life of Boaz and Ruth

Today, we would be looking at and sharing our lessons from the story of Boaz and Ruth and we would be studying/ discussing Ruth 2: 1-13 and Ruth 4:1-17.

The story of Ruth and her Mother-in-law, Naomi is quite popular. The story talks about a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law who stayed and lived together after their husbands died. Ruth had refusef to go back to her house but to stay with her mother-in-law till death, a commitment to not just her husband but to his family (till death).

When we look at the life of Ruth and Boaz separately and how they were groomed before coming together to become one, we get to learn the following about Ruth:

1. Ruth never gave up: This is shown throughout the scriptures from her desire to stay with her mother in law to her desire to search for food for both her mother in law and herself in order to prevent hunger.

 

Couple | Image- www.ifegrace.com

2. Ruth was Hardworking

Ruth could have sat down, crossed her legs and complained about how God wasn't fair or about how poor widows were. But she didn't. She told her mother inlaw she was going to find food and she did. And when she did, she kept at it, working hard and only taking a break when needed. The question here is what has God placed in your hands? What do you have that you are doing? Are you doing it with all your might or nonchalantly yet, you feel your prayers are not being answered? Think about it.

3. Ruth was Obedient

She was obedient to God, obedient to her mother in law. She did whatever she asked her to do. In fact she adores her mother in law. With all her might. Think about it: are you ready to be obedient to your mother in law? Are you ready to allow her to guide you and correct you when you make mistakes? Are you ready to respect her like you would respect your mother ?

4. Ruth spoke words laced with grace and respect: she spoke respectfully to her mother in law and even to Boaz. When he asked her to glean as much as she can, she thanked him, she appreciated him. And she prayed for him (a stranger). What kind of words come out of your mouth? Are they words seasoned with grace and laced with respect?

5. Ruth made herself Available

In chapter 3, we see where Naomi gave Ruth tips on how to get Boaz to marry her (after she discovered he was a relative liable for marriage to Ruth). Naomi asked her to have her bath, use perfume and dress in her best clothes. Sometimes, we're trusting God for relationships and we are looking hoping and praying and believing. But the truth is packaging also matters when it comes to relationships. We all need to learn to dress well not just on the outside but also on the inside so that whenever the right person comes along, he or she wouldn't be chased away based on how we look/talk. And for those who are in relationships, dressing, seasoned words play an important role in our relationships.

For Boaz, here are some of the lessons we can learn.

1. Boaz was hardworking

Boaz as a single was hard working. If he didn't have that field Ruth had the opportunity to work on, maybe he would never have met her. Guys, you're hoping for a particular kind of woman but what kind of man are you? Boaz was able to provide for Ruth (even before marriage) we all can't keep lazying around and expect the best relationships. What do you have in your hands? What are your gifts and talents and abilities? Are you using them? Or you're waiting for one big opportunity to come. Boaz started from somewhere. He was a farmer. It was hard work and persistence that helped him get so much in order to own a field.

2. Boaz was observant

He noticed Ruth. He saw what was good and he made inquiries about it. "Who is that woman?" He asked his servant. And for Ruth too, she stood out. That's why Boaz was able to notice her. Have you discovered anything that makes you stand out from the crowd? Everyone is unique in one way or the other and most times it's what makes you stand out that gets you noticed. As we hope and pray and believe for great relationships, there is the need to be observant and at alert so as not to miss what God has for us.

3. Boaz had values and he understood traditions 

Boaz knew what he stood for and he stood by it. He didn't take advantage of Ruth when she came to lie at his feet. Instead, he did as expected and followed traditions and ensured Ruth received what was due to her. It says a whole lot about Boaz and what he stands for. Do people know you for what you stand for?

Remember if you stand for nothing, you would fall for anything. He also respected traditions and he followed procedure. For most things in life, there is always a procedure. We shouldn't neglect the process in haste to get results. The patient dog eats the fattest bone. Never forget that.

Ruth was said to love her mother in law. It was so obvious the people of the town made comment about her being worth more than seven sons.

For singles, determine to love your mother in laws. If you go into marriage with the mindset that mother in laws are devils, you would most likely have problems with your mother in law. Also, delay is never denial. In chapter 1, Ruth was married to Mahlon for 10 years. She didn't conceive, she didn't have children. She might have received insults and looked at one way or the other but when it was time, the Bible says God blessed her (provision) and she conceived which was not long after she and Boaz got married. Therefore, let us not forget that God always has plans and whether today looks great or not, we can trust Him about tomorrow cos we are assured He has our best interest at heart.

Should You Spiritualize Everything In Your Relationship?

In our article here, we discussed how self-love should sometimes come before romantic love. By now you should know that you are not selfish just because you are showing yourself care. Someone once asked me, ‘Do you think it is appropriate to spiritualize everything in my relationship?’ Trust me, the question was a tricky one but I ended up saying NO. 

Today, I will be sharing with you why I think you should not spiritualize everything in your relationship.

Spirituality has to do with your concern and dedication to God. It has to do with your love for God and how connect with Him. As children of God, we should understand that there is no part of our existence that we should exclude God from. In John 15:5 Jesus said: “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” Jesus Christ has already made it clear that if we are his and he is ours we will have a great life, a life that will show forth good things including good relationship. But the moment we detach from him, we can do nothing. Having a good relationship with God will help us to choose who to be in a relationship with.

Nevertheless, we must know that we have an unspoken 11th commandment- Do your will. God in His infinite goodness has given us the grace of free will to make decisions that we think are best for us. But in His wisdom and mercy, He has given us the Holy Spirit to direct us every time we need to make a decision. It is true that the spiritual controls the physical but with the presence of the Holy Spirit in your life you never have to make any bad decisions as long as you are willing you follow His instructions.

Failure to involve the Holy Spirit in all that you do is the beginning of problems in your life but your life including your relationship because you will make the wrong decisions thinking that you have done something right. Let me tell you a little about Brian and Mercy.

Both of them are Christians and have been courting for two years and four months. They attended a seminar where the speaker- Nicholson Jacklar mentioned that it is important for individuals to know their health conditions before they got married. A couple of days after the seminar they both decided to go for a medical checkup and they got to know that Brian is AS while Mercy is AC. One would expect them to know the right thing to do (seek counsel and find ways to go their separate ways) but they decided to pray about it because they are in love with each other.

The presence of the Holy Spirit in you will help you to know when to pray when to seek advice from experienced people when to be patient with your partner or when to communicate with him or her. Families crumble just because they are waiting on God to lead them when they are just supposed to help out their partner with something or listen to each other.

Yes! We need God in our relationship but we need to be wise enough to know when to act and when to wait. Not everything needs to be spiritualized. 

Love is beautiful and we can nurture it to bliss.

The Importance of Friendship in a Relationship

There is a common saying that “it is better to marry your best friend” and another that “the devil that you have known for a hundred years is better than the angel you just met”, are these sayings true? What does this mean? What if my best friend is not the kind of person that I would love to spend the rest of my life with? What if my best friend and I are of the same sex? All these are what we would be looking into in this post.

Many people get attracted to their partner due to different reasons. For some, the attraction came from the way they heard their partner talk; for others, the first attraction came from the mode of dressing or an act of kindness from their partners. Whatever the case maybe, something has to spark that first attraction for you to like that person. You would agree with me that it would be hard for you to like someone whose personality you cannot even cope with or whose values are entirely different from yours. This is to say that no matter who you would like to be in a relationship with, you would like them to be a person that you can relate very well with.  

  Research has shown that most of the couples that have a happy marriage were friends before they got married. For a relationship to be a good one, you and your partner have to connect on more than one level. This is where friendship comes into play. There is a need to be able to play, plan, read, pray, execute goals with your partner comfortably, this will help to strengthen the relationship and help you bond well with your partner. But how do you bond with someone you don’t even know? Let me start by saying that the person you want to start a relationship with is not necessarily supposed to have been your friend. But, no matter how you met, never skip the friendship stage. 

Tasha just met Ken at the mall and both of them exchanged phone numbers because they had a short time to talk at the mall while they were shopping and they got along so well. They also found out that they agreed on some things like soccer being a really nice game. Later the next day, Ken called Tasha and they both went out for an ice-cream. They had the time to talk more and get to know other things about each other. It was an evening of absolute cruise and thrill as the both of them had lots of fun talking about different things. In the midst of all the fun, Ken decided to ask Tasha a sweet and sincere question, so he said,

 “hey, I find out that we get along so well, and I feel like I have known you for years, (chuckles). Tash, the funniest thing is that we both even love soccer, really, I am so glad I met you at the mall yesterday."

Tasha said, “yes… it has been all fun moments with you.”

Then Ken said, “I would be really glad if we can take this friendship to another level.”

Tasha: "ok…?" (looking a bit shy and confused with a smile on her face)

Ken: "Tasha, I know we haven’t even spent up to 24 hours together but we’ve known so much about each other, so I decided to ask you, will you please be my girlfriend?"

Tasha, now all red and blushing said: "yes! yes! yes! I will love to."

****************************************

Hell no! that was not Tasha’s reply. Tasha said:

“ Ken, the truth remains, I have never felt so connected with a guy, I mean, I also feel like I have known you for a long time, and the fact that we agree on so many things? Wow... but ken, I cannot be your girlfriend, at least, not now. This is because I would really love us to get to know each other even better, so to be fair, let me ask, can we be friends?”

The point is that Tasha was able to put her emotions aside and let herself think. She definitely knew that at some point in the relationship, things might go wrong. So, no matter how bad you might want the relationship, never ever skip the stage of friendship (should I increase the volume?). The friendship stage is essential so that both individuals will get to know the basic things about each other. Things like this include their values, their drive, hobbies, life purpose, family background, personal discipline, work ethics and so on. This might look like a long and endless list of stressful things to do but they are the things that will help you know if you are compatible. Mind you, it is not possible to know all about that person at the stage of friendship.

It is also easy to feel like we can get to know these things while we are dating but the truth is if you remain friends for a reasonable time and watch each other closely, you will be able to discover new things about the other person even without asking them. By just paying attention and observing each other while being friends, you will know if your values and life’s purpose align and you will be able to decide the persons true personality to an extent. It is not possible to hide your true personality for a long time in a friendship and this is because true friends tend to be free with each other. If you are very observant, you will notice some red flags and green flags. In cases where you have discovered that the bad attributes are way more than the good attributes, you will be able to save yourself from having to break up any relationship because you never started one.

Big point: it is not about marrying your best friend, but more about not skipping the stage of friendship in your relationship. It is also not about settling for the devil you’ve known in years but being patient and observant enough to know if the new angel is not another devil in disguise.

 

How to Build a Better Relationship

making a change happen in your life and your relationship is dependent on many factors but the most important factor is your willingness and hunger for the change you desire. If you are craving a better life and relationship, it is not enough for you to listen to relationship coaches, read books on relationships and pray, your willingness and hunger to have this change  should also push you to put into action all the things you learn. Taking action matters a lot. So without further ado let's get right into to this discussion.

 I can tell that you know a good number of single people all around who want to start a relationship so badly but every time they think about it they shrug and push it over because of the fear of being with the wrong person or the fear of messing up.

At the same time I know you have seen and heard a lot of people in relationships that it is as bad as hell, every day seems like war for the couples, they always have something to fight about. The relationship is a good example of what we can call tug of war.

I am also sure that you know some couples who seem to have your heart, they seem to have the complete relationship goals they are doing just fine, and you dream to have a relationship like theirs.

The difference between the first two categories of people and the last category is their ability to see and do things differently. You might even be in one of these categories but for whichever one  you belong to, what makes a difference between you and the people in the other categories is the way you see and do things.

In this community we help to build Godly relationships and not just that, we help you to enjoy the happiness that comes from loving someone even when it seems like it is impossible. This year we want you and as many of us to have great relationships and for this I will be sharing some tips and ways in which you would date differently this year such that you will experience nothing but success, joy and bliss in your relationship.

The first thing you need to pay attention to is your personal habits. Have you ever wondered why you only have some certain kind of people? Your habits speak a lot for you and attract to you the right or wrong person. If you are in the habit of making use of vulgar or foul language I can bet it with you that most of those that will be attracted to you will be people of that nature. The truth is that no one looking to get into a good serious and Godly relationship will want to be with someone with a loose tongue. This is just one in a million habits that can repel the right people away from you and attract the wrong ones to you there by leaving you in a relationship with the wrong person and ruining your peace of mind. Think about those habits and work hard on getting better but do not pretend to be who you are not. Rather focus on being a better person.

Another thing that could cause you to have a bad relationship is your attitude towards relationship itself the truth is that a relationship is like an investment, you make sure to consistently put in the right energy in appropriate proportion and then you can watch it bloom but if you are someone who sees being in a relationship as stress then I can tell you that it will be stressful for you because you seem not to be ready for the commitment it requires. If for you being in a relationship is avenue to be lazy and make money by always demanding from your partner then, I can tell you that any relationship you get into will definitely not go well because you will end up putting so much pressure on your partner that they give up when they cannot take it anymore. And if you think being in a relationship is nothing stressful you just want to get into a relationship and be treated like a baby and pampered all the time, I am glad to tell you that you are only preparing yourself for hurt and heartbreak because nothing good comes easy or without work.

The right attitude to have in order to have a great relationship is to be ready for commitment. It requires you to be ready to give as much as you want to be given and be ready to learn with an open mind. If you have the right attitude towards relationships then you will definitely have a good relationship.

The third thing on this table is your relationship with God. This is the most important of them all. You definitely didn't create yourself, you were created by God and only He has the roadmap and manual to having not just a great relationship but a great life too. If you seem to be making the wrong choices when it comes to choosing who to be in a relationship with in the past years, I would like to tell you to look well into your relationship with God. If you are in a good relationship with God, He gives you a foresight into life and helps you to know who and who not to be with. I strongly  believe that when you are told to pray to God and get a confirmation before getting into a relationship with a particular person, God will not step down from his throne in heaven to tell you that he or she is the one for you but one thing that is very sure is that if you have a strong relationship with God, He will open your eyes, mind and ears to see, hear and take note of things about that person that you would not notice on a normal day and those things will be pointers to let you know if you are to get into a relationship with that person. So, a strong relationship with God is very vital to having a good and blissfull relationship with men.

 Your awareness of purpose. You might want to ask if this really has anything to do with being able to have a good relationship or make a good relationship better. It happens that as much as we have a lot of books and people addressing the issue of living a purposeful life we still have a lot of people who are ignorant of their purpose in life. It is very essential that you are aware of the reason(s) you were created on this earth so that you would know who to go on the journey with. Your knowledge of purpose will help you to recognize the partner that will drag you down or raise you up. For you to have a successful relationship you need to know your purpose so that you will not be running someone else's race.

If you are someone like me who finds talking a thing of ease and you are aware that you are supposed to use your voice to help people in whatever industry or sector you find yourself, you will not feel fulfilled if you get in a relationship with someone who thinks you talk too much or someone who thinks you put yourself out too much and draw unnecessary attention to yourself. You need to go on the journey of life and purpose with someone who sees not just the best in you or what you do but someone who sees the best in the person you have been made to be. So, before you get into that relationship take some time to know yourself, seek to know your purpose on earth because you are not a result of excess clay. You have been created for a particular purpose.

The last point I will be discussing with you on how to make sure that your relationship life becomes healthier and better this year and always, is taking note of the happenings in your past. History happens over and over again and this is one of the reasons why we can say that there is nothing new under the sun. There is a need to always take note of things that have happened in your previous relationships that did not make the relationship work out and avoid those things while choosing to be with someone else. When you are able to recognise these things you would be able to work on them, especially of they are things that your ex or friends have complained about. They might be insecurities or lack of trust or some attitudes that you are not so aware of, you should not close your ears to them; you should instead work on yourself because that might be the reason why you seem to have issues in your relationships. In case there are things that you noticed in your ex then try to take note of them and not just jump into a relationship with any available person.

If for you the people you have been in relationships with are perfectionist they want you to be what you are not without waiting for you to at least adjust well and try to fit into the situation you might want to look at dating someone who takes progress over perfection in that way you'll be able to take your time to grow and adjust into any situation without being choked up.

All in all, self-knowledge is very important, you need to know yourself and be able to tell how you can manage in a good number of situations before you bring a whole human into your space. If you are able to take note of these 5 tips and follow them intentionally, I am sure that you will have a great relationship.

5 Tips to Keeping an Effective Relationship Journal

Today we will be talking about 5 simple fun steps to having the best relationship journal. You should take note that these steps will lead to more fun and connection in your relationship, especially points 1 and 3.

1. Go Journal Shopping

One of the major aims of doing this is so that you both can agree on a journal that you like while having fun and spending time together. You and your partner can decide to pick out a day where you want to do general shopping, add a journal to your shopping list. You can also decide to go journal shopping with your partner after which you can go on a picnic date where you both can start using your journal.

Agree on Who to Hold Journal:

Because you both are in a relationship and are not yet living together, someone must be responsible for the journal. This will give you bought an opportunity to take responsibility for something that belongs to both of you. You can also decide to switch the responsibility from time to time.

Never Fill the Journal in the Absence of Your Partner:

This point has spoken for itself. There may be times when you are not with your partner but you feel like you need to record an event, Don't! The point of doing this is so that you both can share the emotions and spend time together well writing in your journal. Watch out for tips on how long-distance relationships couples can keep a joint journal.

Attach Pictures in your Journal

Visuals like pictures and images help to relate better to different occurrences. To make your journal more fun, colorful, and memorable you both can take time to attach pictures to the various event that you decide to record in your journal. It can also be images or objects, anything that can bring emotions to life at all times.

Never Journal Without Date and Location:

Who does not like an accurate journal? It will be stressful when doing the future you need to remember when and where an event occurred. Adding date and location to each memory in your journal will make it more fun because it will be like a little reference book where you can go to anytime you need to remember an event or an anniversary.

 The point in doing this make memory while you have fun, learn and spend time together. I look forward to hearing your journal stories. Till tomorrow, know that love is beautiful and we can nurture it to bliss. I Love You.

2 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Sex Before Marriage

There was once an online challenge where parents were to test their children’s obedience and resistance to sweet things.

When Tami saw this challenge, she decided to try it with her kids- Katy and Elon who are 5 years and 7 years old respectively. Tami placed a box of chocolates in front of Katy and Elon and told the both of them not to eat any and to watch it till she comes back. She told them that they would get to eat the chocolates when she got back and then said goodbye. Katy and Elon happen to love chocolates so much, what child doesn't? Their mom seemed to be taking long Three things could happen;

• Katy and Elon could overcome their temptation by being obedient and waiting for their mom.

• Both of them could have decided to go against their mom's instruction and eat the candies anyway.

• The last thing is that Katy and Elon could have decided to play a wise game of taking the chocolates, licking 

them, and placing them back in the box.

Ok! This is the point where we eave the kids and their mom. Do you want to know what Katy and Elon did?

In most cases, dating or courting couples find themselves in place of Katy and Elon when it comes to sex and sexual activities. In this case, couples are Katy and Elon and their mom is God. The box of chocolates is sex. In relationships, three things can happen;

• Partners may choose to be obedient to the will of God and keep sex till after marriage
• Some don’t care about keeping sex sacred. They just go for it anyways.
• The last set of people are those that feel they are wise and then decide to engage in other sexual activities like kissing, caressing, pornography, etc.

Today, we will be talking about the last two sets of people. Those that don’t care and those that try to be wise. And that brings us to the 2 reasons why you should avoid sex and sexual activities before marriage.

1. It Is a Sin against God

I can already almost hear you say ‘there you go again!’ but it is what it is. 1st Corinthians 6 says a whole lot about sexual immorality, especially among unmarried couples. As children of God and God’s creation, we are meant to live for His glory and make ourselves a living sacrifice to Him (see Romans 12:2). Having sex outside of wedlock would only displease Him.

2. It is a Sin Against Yourself

1st Corinthians 6: 15-16 & 18-20 said it plainly and explicitly. You cannot join the body of a prostitute with the body of Christ and because of our nature in Christ and because our body is the temple of Christ, we have to hold it in high regard. The moment you commit these sexual sins you separate yourself from Christ and remember that John 15:5 already made it clear that the one who is cut away from Christ shall do nothing good. How then is this not sin against yourself because you have just succeeded in separating yourself from the graces that you were supposed to enjoy?

Conclusion

These two reasons are why you should not have sex or allow sexual activities that would trigger sex to happen between you and your partner before marriage. 

And for Katy and Elon, they chose to obey their mother and wait till she got back from wherever she went to.