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How to Handle Sexual Urges Before Marriage

How to Handle Sexual Urges Before Marriage by Abayomi Adeola Della
Two Become One

When I was growing, I used to like this meat pie from Mr. Biggs. I would buy it everyday and I didn’t mind trekking to Mr. Biggs on Oregun road to buy it. I bought it too after church. I bought it for so long with stolen money from my dad’s suit. Ahhh. I took my dad’s money a lot! It was norm for me to just enter his room, go to his suits and check his pockets for money and guess what?

Each time I went to the suit, I always find money in it and I took them for so long and my dad never talked or ask who was taking his money. But he kept putting it there. And I kept taking it.

I thought I had hacked that art of stealing from your dad without him remembering or saying anything about it. I thought it was manna from Heaven. Judge me, whatever, I’m a changed person now.😂

One day, I misplaced the change I got from the woman who sold bread two houses away. My dad had sent me 100 bread and I misplaced the 100 change. I got home before realizing.

I ran back to the woman crying to her to come and help me beg my daddy that he would beat me (for 100?!😭) and I was crying so much the old woman had to follow me home and climb all those stairs to beg my dad.

I had never misplaced money from my dad so I didn’t know how he would react but I knew it wasn’t a good one.


“Ah. E filed e ma worry? Is that why you came? Ahhh. Ko le to yennnn?”

And the woman left. My dad felt so embarrassed and kept asking me why I would think he would beat me for misplacing his money.

“Have I ever beaten you for misplacing money? Even breaking plates? Why did you have to bring her?”

“Even my money that you’ve been taking from my suits, have I said anything? You think I don’t know?”


God has put sexual urges in us for a reason. He had made us physically attracted to the opposite sex for a reason. He purposely made it so. 

(If you don’t feel like that, I don’t know what to tell you, lol.) It’s okay if you find them attractive. You are not less spiritual and your prayer life is not in shambles. You dey alright.

But you know, He wanted you to enjoy it in marriage with that person you get to tie the knot with.



He knew!!!

“I kept the money there everyday for you. The money was for you people so that when I’m not around and you need to get something, you won’t be stranded.”

This was the shocker. So, the money was mine all these while and I was stealing it? You mean to say it’s mine but I was trying to cut corners to have it?

So each time you try to “do it” before marriage, you’re stealing something that already belongs to you but for a certain time. 

My dad kept the money in his suits so we could have it when we were stranded or needed to get something and he wasn’t around.

Same way God put all those sexual urges for us to act on when we’re married and in the right time to put all our skills to work.🌚

[5/19, 9:31 PM] Adeolami: Now, you’ve stolen it for so long and now it’s like you’re losing it. You almost reach through to him and remember you’ve failed Him and so you run back and try to reach Him through people.

You’re listening to messages, reading books and maybe even going to church but again, God wants to shut these things out and call you into depth with Him. Now, He wants to meet with you.

“Why do you have to reach me through someone? Come up hither. I know of all your other wrong deeds but did I kill you?”

[5/19, 9:31 PM] Adeolami: Why steal it when you can wait and get it ALL? I mean, it’s for you. God won’t collect back your sexual urges and abilities and the hot things you feel like doing now now.

It’s going to always be your own, innit?😂

But what happens when you’ve stolen it already? He says “When you were stealing it all these while, did I strike you dead? Why did you think that now that you’ve lost it, I’d disown you?”

[5/19, 9:31 PM] Adeolami: It’s the same with whatever thing it is you think you’ve failed God on.

Stop running away. He wants to talk to you. The moment He tells you about the “appointed time”, you’d be more than happy you waited.

How do you not steal these things? Walk in the Spirit. Don’t shut out the Spirit. Hold on to what God has told you. It’s for you, but it’s for an appointed time. Spend time with the person that put the sexual kini there.

[5/19, 9:31 PM] Adeolami: It’s just like finishing the plantain before you finish frying.😂

But, Bola, if you finish frying the plantain, it’s yours to eat with the beans?🌚👀. Nobody will share it with you abi? Gbam.

If you’ve started stealing it, stop stealing it. The one you’ve stolen is okay. It’s not until they strike you dead nau (lol no, God won’t). But really, you can stop. It might not stop immediately you decide to stop but if you see the reasons why you should, you would.


To coonclude, you should not miss the crux of the matter, so here is a quick summary.

1. Stop stealing. Wait for the plantain to finish frying

2. If you’ve stolen, God knows and He still wants a relationship and wants to guide you.

3. If hand dey scratch you to steal, go and marry. We dey your back. If you are in a relationship, sexual urges will definitely come. If the thing catch you too much, Brother Paul said we should go and marry.

No too think am. If you see say you’re body no dey cooperate, put the ring on it. By that time, your body go _kule_.😂

God wants us to “Do it”. He’s even looking forward to it but He’s alarm is set on the right time in marriage.  If you no wan marry, baff with cold water.🌚

From God’s heart to you, He added also that He loves you! He wants to hear from you again!❤️🥺

Majoring so much on avoiding pre-marital sex as a key to having a successful marriage is to have your priorities mixed up.

If you study scriptures properly, you will guard against and flee fornication. 1st Corinthians 6:18 KJV says
[18] Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

However your greater emphasis should not be to achieve the short term results of avoiding such indiscipline before marriage. There are other lusts that will emerge after you tie the knots. Thus, many develop strange habits after the wedding, during marriage. So rather than focus on the premarital abstinence only, let couples groom themselves in developing the christian character called Self- Control. It is the virtue which delays immediate gratification for a more noble cause.

Focus here, will be on appetites generally- rage, food, leisure, sex, gists, sleep ..

When you do this, you build a total man not just a pre-marital hero who might just be postponing the evil day!

 Wait. Sex is good as long as it begins from the wedding night. Sex is food for marriage and not appetizer or small chops for a relationship or courtship.You are valuable, so zip up.

Galatians 5:22-25[ tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, [23] Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. [24] And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. [25] If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

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