How to Lead a more Spiritual Partner

It is very possible for a female partner to be more spiritually mature than her male partner. Especially if the man became a true follower of Christ many years after her. I’ve been a poor leader of my family, especially in spiritual matters. But by the grace of God I’m growing in my faith, and I’m slowly starting to take the reins of leadership in my family. My wife’s discernment, desire, and dependence on the Lord are incredible examples, and I often ask her advice and discernment in my search and reading through Scripture. So how can I better lead her?”

Let’s start with the foundations:

Hidden, But Now Revealed

The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:23–25) 

Now that’s all very, very radical in every culture on planet Earth. It is a restoration of what God established in the garden of Eden and a transformation of the mess that the relationship became after the fall. It recaptures what God originally designed, and it redeems what was ruined in that design by sin. That’s the point of Ephesians 5: it restores headship or leadership, and it transforms that leadership by modeling it on the self-giving love of Christ for his church.

“God’s design of male and female, from the beginning, included this glorious destiny.” Tweet Share on Facebook
When Paul was finished in Ephesians 5, describing the relationship of husband and wife in this recovered and renewed dynamic, he said in verse 32, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” So, the mystery of marriage refers to Christ and the church. And the reason he calls marriage a mystery is not that it can’t be understood, but that it was kept secret for thousands of years, and has now been most fully revealed in relation to Jesus and his church.

In other words, the secret that human marriage is modeled on the coming relationship between the incarnate, crucified, risen Son of God and his blood-bought bride, the church, is mysterious. That’s the meaning of the mystery or the secret. There were hints of it, the mystery, in the Old Testament because God called himself the husband of Israel. But this full-blown pattern of Christ and the church is a new revelation and very radical in every culture on the planet.

Christ and His Church in View
The reason that calling marriage a mystery is relevant right here is because it tells us that when God created man as male and female, he already had in view Jesus Christ and his church as the model for Adam and Eve and all marriages to follow. This means that the wisdom of God created male and female in such a way, with such male and female natures, that in their most godly manifestations, they would rejoice in and flourish in the living out of Christlike headship and church-like submission. He made them that way; that’s the mystery. It was the model from the beginning.

The distinct calling of each of them would fit their created design. The calling would fit the design. They would be perfectly suited for this dynamic of leadership and submission. In other words, calling this relationship a mystery in Ephesians 5 assures us that God’s design of male and female, from the beginning, included this glorious destiny of the man echoing Christ in his role as husband, and the woman echoing the church in her role as wife.

Governed by Infinite Wisdom
And one of the reasons I’m stressing this is that I want you to have a clear sense of why you are called to lead your wife even when she is superior to you in significant ways. What is your calling to lead rooted in? Because if you don’t get that clear, you’ll probably just bail on this and say, “Well, there’s no point in trying to do this.”

And I don’t want you to say, “Well, the reason I am called to lead is because I am called to lead.” There are a lot of people today who more or less take that position: men should lead their families on the basis of the fact that men should lead their families. Or to put it another way: God says in the Bible that men should lead their families because men should lead their families.

I want to discourage you from thinking that God flipped a coin in the garden of Eden when he was deciding about leadership in the home. I want to encourage you not to think that God said, “Well, here we have two human beings that I have made. There’s nothing about them as I have created them that would make it fitting or especially beautiful for either one to always be the leader. I have not made them that way. Nothing about their male or female differences makes it better or more fitting that one should be the leader. But I want somebody to be the leader, so let’s flip a coin. Heads — Adam leads. Tails — Eve leads.” Flip. Heads — there you go. It’s settled for all history and codified in a book. God said so. “This is the way it’s going to be because I say so. I flipped a coin.” I don’t want you to think that.

“You should feel a uniquely masculine burden that the buck stops with you.” Tweet Share on Facebook
I think that notion of why you should lead, because God just flipped a coin or God said so, dishonors, discredits the wisdom of God. I don’t think God decides anything by flipping a coin — ever — for the simple reason that if he did, he controls which way the coin lands every time. There’s no point in flipping the coin. God never does anything whimsically or randomly — ever — because he’s governed always by infinite wisdom.

“O Lord, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all” (Psalm 104:24). That’s what you do. His decisions always reflect the profound suitableness and beauty of what he decides. That applies to the decision that husbands are called to be the leaders of their wives, and we’re both fitted to these distinct callings.

Lead from Below

So, here we are at your question, and you were pointing out that it doesn’t necessarily look like you are especially fitted for leadership, and she especially fitted for submission. You say that she is spiritually more mature than you are, and that her discernment, desire, dependence on the Lord are wonderful examples for you. So, how are you going to lead her?

By being thankful and expressing thankfulness to her and to others that she is as mature and discerning and godly as she is — and by not being the least intimidated or resentful of it. That’s your first job: confident, Christ-exalting thankfulness that you have such a wife. Oh my, what a gift.

And realize that what makes your leadership fitting and beautiful is not your superior knowledge, or your superior wisdom, or your superior insight, or your superior language skills.

She may be ahead of you in all of that, and yet the fitness of your leadership is still firmly in place. I’m not denying that knowledge and wisdom and the ability to speak are helpful in exercising leadership, but they’re not the essence of it. No, no, no, no, they’re not. Nor are they the essence of what a godly woman hopes for in her husband’s leadership. The essence of this God-given call on your life as husband is a mature, loving sense that you bear a primary responsibility for the relationship.

Special Kind of Care
Let me say that again because that’s the heart of the matter: the essence of the fitness for your leadership is that you sense a call, because it’s there from God for every man — a mature, loving sense that you bear a primary responsibility for this relationship, especially the flourishing of the spiritual life of the relationship. You should feel a uniquely masculine burden that the buck stops with you for making this relationship work. When anything is not working in this relationship, you feel the primary responsibility to get it fixed — even if she has the wisdom to fix it, and you ask her to use it.

God created men to bear this burden of mature, loving, Christlike, primary responsibility for the relationship. She has her responsibilities, but you take special initiative and bear primary responsibility before God that God’s pattern be joyfully fulfilled. That’s your calling. And it does not depend on being her superior; it depends on faith, and courage, and initiative, and sacrifice.

A Unhealthy Relationship

Last week was all about secrets, secrets about me and I hope it was fun and you learnt something. But this week we are going to be talking about something different.

I have discovered that there is a need to remind ourselves of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like because most people get their hearts broken over and over again just because the view they had on what an actual relationship should look like is wrong😢💔💔. That is why in today’s blog we would be taking a ride along the healthy relationship lane.

There really are some things you should look out for when you are in a relationship, some call them relationship pointers (the green light and the red flags in relationship). Today, we would be looking at the red flags that should tell you if your relationship is a healthy one or not. 👌 

Although there are a lot of pointers to an unhealthy relationship, here area few of them. 

1. If you are in a relationship with somebody who’s getting in the way of the plans and purposes you think God is calling you to, please and please find a solution or a way out of that relationship because that is the greatest of all red flags. 

2. Any relationship that gets you out of who you are to pretend to be something or someone else is not a healthy relationship, if when you are with your partner you cannot actually be your true self, enjoy the things you love, have fun the way you like. Wow... That is a big red flag. 

3. A relationship that  makes you compromise your good morals is not the one for you...  It really is not a relationship to go in with. Through the process of dating, if you find yourself doing things that you would not normally do, or you can't be proud of, hmm🤔 it might be the right reason to check you out of that relationship. 

4.  "It takes two to tango", "It takes two good wings for a bird to fly", this is to tell you that even if the bird has two wings but one is weak, the bird can't fly. So is it for someone who finds his or herself doing all the work to make their relationship work. If you fall into this category, you find yourself calling all the time, getting all the gifts for Him or Her, saying all the prayers for both of you and your partner is not saying or doing anything on their own part, well... That might be your own pointer to either make things work or opt out of the relationship. 

5- At the start of your relationship it may seem like you and your partner are a match made in heaven…but if after a while all you get are harsh words, controlling behaviors, irrational attitudes, and emotional turmoil, I think 🤔 I  don't need anybody to tell you to run for your life, because you need to be in a relationship where you and your partner respect each others to a great level.

6- Lastly, if your family and friends are not in support of your relationship with that person, you might want to take your time and think about the reason why they aren't in support of it. Some of the times our family and friends don't even say it directly to us because they feel that they don't want to hurt us, but if you find out that they act in some kind of way when you talk about your partner or relationship, take the bold step to ask them, "why the change of attitude?"

To wrap it up, are you in a relationship that is taking peace? Taking joy? Taking time? Taking fun? Taking something you can never get back from you? You might need a time out because that relationship is in no way a healthy one for you and you might end up suffering from a very long heartache. 😢💔

Lessons from Naomi to Singles

Recently, I read the story of Ruth and Naomi and I discovered certain lessons the old woman taught her daughter in-law. These lessons are salient ones that singles need. They come in form of simple instructions that once understood, the needed and expected results start coming in. In the next few lines, I will share these lessons.

 

1. Be sure it's God's will for you: Ruth was not just looking for any man. She had a specific one in mind- God's will, and she was ready to go all length to get only God's will. This is not similar to an extreme liking for a guy/lady and then going to pray about him/her because of your previous affections. Naomi however had done her assignment and so she was able to tell Ruth where to find him: "...he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor" (Ruth 3:2)


2. Deal with your past: Naomi said to Ruth, "...wash yourself..." (Ruth 3:3). In order to gain acceptance with Boaz, Ruth could not approach him looking and smelling like Moab. She needed to settle her past so that it would not sabotage her future. Do not remain contaminated with stories and worries of breakups, jilts and every past. Just sort out your emotional baggage. To properly sort this, you would need to prayerfully and confidently tell him/her everything about your past and if he/she is truly for you, then he/she would accept you for who you have become and not what your past contains.


3. Have the right attitude: Naomi said to Ruth, "...anoint yourself..."(Ruth 3:3). In Bible times, people anointed themselves with oil in order to be refreshed and renewed. In essence, Ruth needed a change of attitude as many singles need toay.


4. Be willing to stand out in the crowd: Ruth was instructed to "...put on your best garment..." (Ruth 3:3). You need to get noticed, look good for approval. There is a need to stand out and be exceptional. (Remember, you are not mourning).


5. Make sure you are in the right place: Naomi told Ruth, "...Go down to the threshing floor" (Ruth 3:3). Why? Because that was where Boaz was. You should not feel out of place when you are in the right place neither should you be at the wrongplace when you should be at the right. Many consciously or unconsciously move away from where their spouses are.


6. Understand the importance of timing: Naomi gives Ruth one strong one here by saying "... Do not make yourself known unto the man until...". Ruth had waited a long while as we know but she did not need to push or rush things. Pushing things is getting pregnant before marriage (so that he would be stuck right?), making proposal moves before he does and so on. Things should only happen at the appointed time uhn...


Dear single brother/sister, the truth is the truth. If the government decides to kill all mathematicians today, 1+1 would still equal 2 because it's the truth. I have come to confirm every advice Mummy Naomi gave Sister Ruth as true.

Follow them, your spouse cometh!

How to Stand in God's Will for Your Relationship

At one point in time or the other, you must have heard or read something about God's will. However, there is always a new side in the understanding of God's will and the importance of standing therein. To begin, our anchor verse in Isaiah 55.8 reads:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

You recall that a popular saying - Man proposes, God disposes? This may not directly mean the same as this verse, but then it is quite similar.

 

Man was created in the image of God. Everything by default was God replicated. However, since the fall, there was a change in systems. Man's thoughts, will and mind changed from the original. One way to know this is that by the default in creation, man was not expected to chase after things (money, relationships, career, success.. etc.) Everything was supposed to chase after man as long as he is focused on God. This is later confirmed when we were instructed to seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness...

Since man fell, his mind and will began to chase after the things that were originally meant to follow him. This is where the issue of staying in God's will comes in.

Most times, when we try to chase after the things that should run after us, we trust our instincts and leave out God. In some cases whenever we choose to carry Him along, we leave His will and opinion as a Plan B. Standing in God's will basically means that you are rightly placed in God and positioned where He wants you to be. It means you have only Plan A and nothing else. It is only then that everything else can chase after you and fall in the right order.

This message is coming at a time when many individuals are not properly positioned for God's blessings as regards relationships. You cannot confuse God. A relationship outside God's will is a wrong relationship. If you chase that lady/man (outside God's will) from now till next year and she finally consents, you are still on your own. God's will should not be replaced by anything.

At this point, I know that you may want to ask or say something about the  permissive will of God. Truth is, the permissive will of God still needs His consent. In this case, you still have to ask His permission to go ahead. Falling totally out of God's will is the case where you strictly stick to your own opinion and trust your instincts to go on.

Let's head somewhere specific now. How Can one Stand and Remain in God's will? Finding, standing and remaining in God's will requires that you get three basic things right.

 

Get Understanding

Knowledge and understanding  Understanding opens up a level of grace that brings direction. Imagine that you visit a friend and you stand at the gate. The gate has a kind of security lock that you do not understand. If you stand before the gate  without knowing how to open it, you'd just keep wasting your time. Understanding gives access and allows the grace for directions to flow in. If you are seeking God's face to know His will over any matter, ensure that you understand what you are asking for. Knowledge and understanding comes through many ways. It is only necessary that you understand the part of God's will that you are coming to.

 

Get Direction

Many things come as a result of directions, but you can only get direction based on what you understand. In God's direction, you will find speed.

Take for example, you buy a car and do not know how to drive. If you get into the car and start the engine without knowing how to drive, you'd be ready to meet your saviour😂. But then if you ask directions, learn and "follow who know road", you will find yourself doing just the right thing and save your self from great evil.

 

Always Follow Directions

It is one thing to have knowledge and understanding. It is another thing to get instructions and direction. It is yet another thing to be able to follow these instructions to the letter. If you get into a city and you do not know the routes, you either ask direction and follow them or stick to your instincts and get lost. For many relationships alike, people choose to trust their instincts and head into the bush instead of following God's leading. The relationship gists you see online and social media advice is not enough reason to trust your instinct and jump into a relationship. Ask God for directions and follow them.

For another illustration, If you are writing an examination, you are tested on what you know and understand. However, that alone is not enough. The examiner will definitely give you instructions which you are meant to follow. If you are supposed to answer 4 questions and then you answer all, it may cost you marks and vice versa.

You must learn that Instructions are God's instruments to keep us in line with His will.

I think I have said so much already at this time and I trust God's spirit to treat these words in your heart just as it concerns you. Let me give a recap here quickly.

How to stand and remain in God's will

• Get understanding from God (Read books about God's will and how it works. Listen to sermons, seek counsel)
• Get directions from Him (through every means God communicates to you)
• Follow the directions (He did not give them to you so that they live in your journals forever)

I'd also like to mention a few things which are instructional too.

1. When you trust your instincts and go into a relationship outside God's will, you are simply settling for less. God's will is premium quality that you cannot afford to lose.

2. When you are outside God's will for your life and your relationship, you have everything to lose.

And lastly before we open up for questions, I'd like to assure you that God will never lead you anywhere outside His will. If He is leading you at all, it is only into His perfect will for you.

What You Should Know About Spirituality and Relationship

When you talk about the things people should know about spirituality and relationships, many people have a different opinions about this topic. For some, they think that a relationship is one of those things that you have direct control over and so they wonder why God should be involved in it? Some think otherwise. What exactly should you know about spirituality as a believer in Christ and relationship?

Looking at things from the time of creation, God has always been a lover of relationships. He noticed that Adam needed a companion that is why He created Eve. After He created thee both of them, He would still come at evening time to talk to them. I can say over and over again that God is the originator of relationship and to be in a Godly relationship, you cannot exclude Him.

Let’s take it from here, who is a Christian without God? John 15: 5 spelt it out loud. We are nothing without God and without him we can do nothing. Now imagine two individuals coming together to be in a relationship and not of them is connected to God. Their relationship will produce nothing good. They might attain goals in life, they might get to the peak of their career as individuals, but there will still be a void in their life that God is supposed to fill up. Time and time again, we have emphasized on this blog that love is a choice but this choice is only made possible when you have God as a part of your relationship.

As long as you are a child of God looking to build a Godly relationship you cannot exclude God from the business of your relationship. We have been made to understand that we are spirit being and when we allow the spirit of God to dwell in us we become complete. It is not a promise that having the spirit of God on you and letting God have His way in your relationship will keep you safe from relationship problems but it will lead you to do what is right and give you and your partner the right understanding to work things out, to get better and become more. Job 32:8.

If you want a great relationship, let God lead while you and your partner listen and follow. You should know better than excluding God from your relationship. If you have any questions, ask on the comment section and I will do well to answer you. See you tomorrow. Remember, love is beautiful so let us nurture the bliss if love together.

_____________________

This article is a guest post by Oluwadamilotun Bonita Falola. She is a relationship coach and blogger at Lolonyo

 

5 Reasons Why You want a Friends with Benefits Relationship

The friend with benefits tag is  commonly used to refer to people in a look-alike relationship. While this is completely different from the friend-zone 

Is “Friends with Benefits” a Godly thing?

Going by the general definition of the phrase, it is right to say that the “friends with benefits” relationship is not godly. However, if you mean that you have a friend of 

1. You don't want to be Responsible

A relationship is not a joke. It requires commitment and responsibility so if you're not ready to give that, you'd likely propose a ''friends with benefits'' relationship.

2. You like to take advantage of Others

In the little time since we started the Two Become One ministry in 2018, I have gathered that about 73% of most ''friends with benefit'' relationships begin only after one or both partners suffer from a heartbreak or as popularly said, ''served breakfast''. This is because at that point, many people are vulnerable and they can fall prey to almost anything. In this case, most individuals who take advantage of the situation are the closest and they are usually your friends who are of the opposite sex.

3. You want Free Sexual Relations

In marriage, you are entitled to sex and should reasonably request it from your spouse. Outside marital relationship, you would be commuting a sin against God by sleeping with your partner. You also know that your last alternative is to pay for sex from prostitutes. Since you know this, your mind begins to look for a FWB partner who wants the same thing as you without

How to Apologise When You Are Not Wrong

Who says apologizing makes you weaker in your relationship?

Whether you admit it or not, apologizing can never be a sign of weakness in a relationship, because you can only apologize if you’ve really got the guts and courage to confront him or her. However, there are some people, who you will probably know of, that are just in the habit of apologizing because they feel that their relationship is at stake. I believe it is not wrong to keep apologizing just for the sake of saving your relationship.

When we speak of who is to say “sorry” in a relationship, it is very important to always remind yourself that nobody on this earth is perfect. We will have one flaw or the other and it is absolutely OK to make mistakes and offend our partners at one point in time or the other (it should eventually result to a proof that you both are compatible)

A supporting quote from a certain love and relationship expert confirms what I am saying in essence: “Apologizing does not always mean that you have done wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your own ego”.

Actually, it is a very tricky thing to accomplish when you apologize, knowing fully well that you have done nothing wrong at all.

Sometimes, it will be very obvious that your partner or spouse is the one at fault. But with the mentality of “This is not all about me, this is not all about him, it’s about us. ” Then you will understand that there are some situations that you will need to be the one saying “Its okay, I’m sorry about everything”. Such understanding must have gotten you to be reading this article.

Well, I will confirm to you based on personal experience in my previous relationship that the manner which you apologize, guilty or not, just your decision to apologize will definitely determine whether you will be forgiven or not. An apology without forgiveness or reunion is nothing. It is better not to have even apologized in the beginning. If the apology does not sound sincere, chances are they will not be accepted at all.

The subsequent consequences of your relationship, courtship or marriage could be so tough. But trust me, your inability to apologize to your spouse when needed can also aid even a tougher consequence.

So your partner keeps falsely accusing you of something you actually did not do or know nothing about? And you just feel like this is a mess, like you are under a very disturbed attack?.

Those words of apologies fail to escape from your lips? And you feel that this is all about you alone. No sweetheart, it has got something to do with the interest of your relationship.

There may be a need for you to be the storm calmer. You may need to be the one to apologize. This could be the best and simple way to get going in your relationship, to prevent it from hitting a snag.

Now, I want you to understand that there is a large story to play. Do not put yourself under unwarranted pressure, guilt or blame. You are only doing it because there is every need to. It is not all about buying the best red flowers, shedding tears or simply saying “sorry” in a best-structured way. It has to be sincere.

There are some ways you can apologize even when you have done nothing wrong.

Why apologize, anyway?

There are numerous reasons why you should be the one making a sincere apology when you have done nothing wrong.

When you apologize, you help the other person acknowledge that he or she has engaged in an unacceptable behaviour. It paves the way for your partner’s willingness to admit his or her mistakes and gives an opportunity to encourage sound communication between both of you.

In a way, your apology can help in the rebuilding of trust and reestablishing of that connection you have with the other person.

Far worse, If the situation of “who did wrong? ” had drained the rhapsodical conversations between you both, your apology automatically opens a dialogue between yourself and the other person.

What is more, when you help the other person admit that the situation was nobody’s fault by apologizing, you are restoring dignity to yourself, the one who is hurt.

Your apology when you have done nothing wrong shows that you are taking responsibility. It makes you feel a sense of relief and unveils that matured side of you when it comes to handling betrayal.

Of course, I can agree with you if you say that your partner must apologize for his or her wrongdoings, it’s highly expected. But look, If your apology is the only thing that can possibly hearten your now-deterring relationship, then DO IT. So long as you value such a relationship. You know, not everyone has the same stand like you.

Undeniably, I understand that apologizing when you are not wrong may seem irksome and difficult. But have you ever wondered why apologies are difficult?. Some people feel that they will be full of shame and embarrassment over the actions that can not bring themselves to the face of their partner. But the truth is, apologies requires courage, whether guilty or not guilty. It may seem to put you in a vulnerable position when you admit that you are the one who has done wrong.

In most cases, it opens you up to more false blame and attack. This is a reason why some people struggle to show this courage to apologize even when they are innocent. But there are ways; psychologically proven ways that you can apologize even when you are not wrong. It is just to make peace and ensure things are smooth as before. Here are a few ways to apologise when you are not wrong.

1. Play the Bigger role

Putting things off for a very long time only gives space for anger and grudge to grow. Sometimes, your partner was wrong and you were a little wrong too. It is also important for you to play a bigger role by being the bigger person in this issue, accept the negative aspect of the situation in order to proceed, then apologize. When you both discuss, later on, you can eventually pour out your mind to your partner how he or she had made you feel. You have to take the stance to bite the bullet and apologize. The likelihood is that your partner will do the same thing for you.

2. It is wise to listen well

No matter who is at fault, you have to exercise your listening skills when you want to apologize for what you have not done. Why? In a situation where you need to apologize, the other person will surely have some different feelings about the same situation on ground, in contrast to yours. Hearing is different from listening. I have heard people say ” I’ve heard all that he has to say, there is no point apologizing”. I’ve also heard people say “I’ve listened to him,I think we need to settle our differences”. Yeah, when you listen and not just hear, you tune in (using your mental focus), putting yourself in your partner’s shoe and acknowledge that you understood what they said. It is time for you to listen to what they have to say first like it is your job. No interruption, no disagreement. Listen first, and then apologizing becomes easier.

3. It is not enough to just say it

So sometimes ago, you and your spouse agreed to go to the movies at 9pm. And after waiting for two hours, he called that it should be postponed. Now you feel disappointed as it was a big deal to you, his apologies had no effect, you got a little bit mad and decided to take rough reactions. After several potholes, you just decided to apologize for something he had started in the beginning. After a couple of weeks, same thing happened and you took same rough action and kept on willingly apologizing for what you did not actually start. What is the essence of an apology when your actions do not speak with it?. Your action in this situation will speak louder than words. If you do not follow through, you have crossed the line into deterring your partner’s trust. Let your action speak too. It is part of you playing the bigger role.

4. Apologize with a clear head

Before you apologise, take a very good time to think things over. You need to understand what the other person has done, why it was done, and what is has caused on your relationship. Why does it upset you so much that you find it hard to apologize? , except your partner has done something knee-jerk which demands immediate apology. If you do not go into your apology with a clear head, you could just start with a fit of residual anger or resentment and make it even worse. Think things over, whether it is just a little wrong or a major relationship crime that takes time to be sorted out.

5. Apologize in the right way

If you’re concerned that your words won’t come out right when you apologize, write down what you want to say, and then role-play the conversation with a trusted friend or colleague. However, don’t practice so much that your apology sounds rehearsed.

Once it’s time to do the deed, you have to do things right, which means you have to get into full-on apology mode. No phones. No text apologies. No TV in the background. Just you, your partner, and some real eye contact. And then you just have to apologize. Say, “I’m sorry I…” and explain what you’re apologizing. This will kick start the discussion and open the door for you both to share your feelings.

6. Don’t give excuses

When you are apologizing, you will be tempted to explain your actions. This may be useful, but from personal experience, explanations are often seen as excuses, and these can weaken your apology. Don’t shift part of the blame onto someone or something else in an attempt to reduce or elude responsibility.

Here is an example of using excuses in an apology:

I’M SORRY THAT I SNAPPED AT YOU WHEN YOU BARGED INTO MY OFFICE YESTERDAY. I WAS SO BUSY AND MY BOSS DEMANDED MY PROJECT REPORT AN HOUR EARLIER THAN PLANNED.

In this particular case, you excuse your behavior because of stress, and you imply that the other person was at fault because he bothered you on a busy day and barged into your office. This makes you look weak.

How Deep are Your Wedding Vows?

Beyond the "I do" uttered every Saturday at many wedding ceremonies, a long lasting impression comes. the "I do" journey is one that begins from the first day two people meet each other, perceive something about the other and begin to love one another. Many people categorise the process from the initial meeting down to dating and courtship as the best period to understand whom your partner is and decide whether or not you will spend the rest of your life with such individual.

The practice of making vows or solemn promises to God deliberately was usually in exchange for some good work or miracle expected from God. It was performed in ancient times among the Israelites. Ordinarily a vow consists of a promise to offer a sacrifice, if God would give some assistance in a difficulty; hence, the Hebrew word neder (pluralised as nedarism) means a vow, oath and votive offering.

The origin of vows in scriptures is traced far back into the Old testament where the prophets of old gave vows. One exceptionally popular vow is recorded in Japheth's account

The popular wedding vows said during weddings today are not in the Bible. However, they are based on biblical principles. The Bible defines marriage as the joining of two into one, according to Genesis 2:24 and according to Mark 10:9, a union must be for life. For two people to be joined, there must be love, honour, and submission.

Every marriage vow must acknowledge the fact that every good and perfect gift comes from above just as James 1:17 puts it. Marriage is a good and perfect gift, especially to the one you truly love. This is one necessary

When You Like Someone outside your Relationship

As humans, it is very possible that you have random feelings for people that you meet on a daily basis. Your ability to keep your emotions under proper check is what makes you overcome those feelings. But what happens if you are in a relationship and you suddenly have emotional feelings for someone outside your relationship? Is this really possible? How best can you manage a situation as this?

First, it is very possible to be actively engaged in a relationship and yet have feelings for other persons. The likely cause of this is