How Often Should I Say “I Love You” To My Partner?

At one point or the other in our relationship, there comes this awkward moment maybe after a long heart-to-heart where you think to yourself “should I tell him I love him now or should I wait?”

We often get confused as to how to make use of these 3 cute little but strong words- I LOVE YOU. At times you meet a couple and you find it wired and probably irritating that at every moment or every time they are together they use these words so much and on the other hand you see another couple that barely says these words to each other and now you are confused as to what the right way should be- you just want to know when it is getting too much or when you should say it more.

This is what today's blog post will be about.

Before we move too far, let’s see what these three cute little words are capable of. Saying I love you can get overly irritating at a point- say a lady that calls her boyfriend almost every hour of the day to tell him that she loves him. She might think to herself- "I am just letting him know that I love him" but this might start annoying her boyfriend. At the same time, she might start getting angry because her boyfriend who claims to love her does not even say it to her- she needs assurance.

These words I LOVE YOU have a lot of power. When used in the right context and said the right way, they can make the hardest heart melt, and turn the hottest situation between a couple into long-lasting tears, a hug and cuddle tournament. And when used at the wrong time or context, can be as bad as pouring fuel onto a burning car. This is to simply state that there can be a right or wrong way of making use of these words.

Damilare got back from the gym and he remembered that his wife- Tola asked him to please get her two large onion bulbs from the grocery store on his way. That was the only thing that she needed to finish preparing for their launch. When Damilare got in and Tola asked for the onions, he remembered and told her that he forgot. Tola (sad, tired and angry said to him with tears almost rolling down her cheeks) “why did you forget, I begged you and you said you will get it for me, I really would have gone for it myself but I am so tired from all the cooking and cleaning in the house, what do I do now?” Damilare recognizing what he has done went up to his wife and apologized for forgetting to get the onions from the grocery store. Tola looking all tired replied to him, “you said you were sorry the last time too babe.” Damilare went further to tell her that he had a lot on his mind but it was never his intention to make her sad. With a little lift in her spirit, Tola sighed and said “it is ok babe.” And then, at that moment, Damilare looked her in the eyes and used the three cute little words. He said, “Hey babe, I love you, I really do.” And that was it, a pause to cooking and a play to a 30 minutes romantic moment filled with kisses, hugs, cuddles, and love in the air.

Whew! Those words must carry a lot of weight. Sonia on the other hand was that girl that felt she needed to let her boyfriend know every time that she loves him. Keve on the other hand is a person that thinks saying ‘I love you is overrated. This raised some dust between this couple and at last when they got to talk about the whole ‘I love you’ issue, Sonia stated how she felt and she wanted Keve to just always assure her that he loves her. Keve still thinks he does not have to spell it out for her to know that he loves her. At the end of their conversation, Sonia requested that her boyfriend at least give her assurance again. Keve (who was still wondering what the connection between saying it and feeling assured is) said to Sonia in a sharp, low almost grumbling tone ‘I love you.’ Wasn’t that supposed to make Sonia feel assured? It didn’t, she rather felt so unloved and she left angry. What a world!

From the two scenarios, it is important to note that, it wasn’t just the saying of those words- I love you, but it was the emotions that came with them that gave them the power they had. Which is to tell us that there is more to those words than just saying them or how many times you say them to your partner. Context and emotion are key. To some people like Keve, saying these words is not even as important as showing it- which can be true, but what if you have a Sonia as a partner- whoo thinks stating the love is super important?

Emotions mean so much, it speaks the real message, they can be said to be the mitochondrion (powerhouse) of anything we say. Far from saying you love that person that is so dear to your heart, you have to make sure that you always mind the kind of power- emotions that come with the way you talk to your partner. That is one of the things that matter, it is not about just saying it, it is about making them feel it, in the way that you mean it. When I say emotions, I mean your facial expression, body language, tone, and actions at that moment.

Does getting the right emotions give us the license to say “I love you” every minute or once in a blue moon?

In your relationship, you need to know what works for both of you so that you won’t be doing things the wrong way thinking that you are trying to help or make things right. As much as you can, it is best to let your partner know that you love them, this helps to make your partner recognize that they still have a space in your heart. But is it true that saying “I love you” is overrated? I would say- No. maybe just the words that we use in conveying this message and emotions is what is overrated. You can still let your partner know that they mean so much to you without saying “I love you.”

Other ways that you can covey this emotion of love to your partner are:

• Saying, “honey you mean so much to me”

• “I appreciate the way you love me “

• “being with you is not a mistake because you bring out the best in me” etc.

There is this common saying that “action speaks louder than voice.” You can also let your partner know that you love them by doing for them those things that matter to them. This can be as small as helping them out with a chore or attending a game with them or being there when they need someone to give them a listening ear. If you can do this alongside stating verbally that you love your partner, you are going to be building stronger bonds between the both of you.

The truth is it is no right or wrong amount of time to say the “I love you” but for those that say it, they say it, no matter what because when said with the right emotions and followed by the right actions, it yields a great result. They say it:

• When they are feeling happy and mushy 

• Literally all the time

• Even when they are angry

• When they just want to be vulnerable

They say it all the time (but not to the extent of being in their partner's face frustratingly).

I Love You 😘

Related Posts:

Privacy in a Relationship

Who Should Say Sorry First?

Communication in a Relationship 

Friendship and Relationship ( Importance of Friendship in a Relationship)

Relationship Gist (Things Couples Should Talk About in their Relationship)

5 tips on how to survive a breakup. 

Being with the right person 

Couple's Gist 

5 Reasons Why You Should Keep a Joint Relationship Journal with Your Partner.

Today, just as to title speaks we will be discussing 5 reasons why you should keep a joint relationship journal but first let's talk about what a journal is before we dive into what it can do for us.

Journal?

A journal is a book where you write down occurrences and events, lessons learned and Memories shared in your life. It is just like a diary. Some people have different journals for various aspects of their life: spiritual, health, physical, relationship e.t.c while some people have mastered the art of fitting all the happenings in their life into one journal. Either way, keeping a journal is very important for you as an individual. Now, having a joint journal with your partner is an interesting and essential thing to do. Are you wondering why it was so? Then stay with me till the end. Here are 5 reasons why you should have a joint journal in your relationship.

It is a way of Keeping Memories:

Keeping a memory is a way of reminding yourself about life's experiences. Keeping memories that you and your partner have had together is one of the most interesting things you can ever do together because every time you go back to the memories emotions of the past is brought to life in the present.

It is a Way of Tracking Your Growth:

The second reason why you should keep a joint relationship journal with your partner is so that you can track your growth. As a couple, you both have outgrown some things while some other things have been added to you since the time you've been together. A joint journal will help you to have it in the records.

It Helps You to Learn from The Past to Make the Future Better:

Consistency in journalling activities that are occurred in your relationship will give rise to a great number of memories; good, bad, happy, sad. With those memories, you can always go back to learn from the various things that have happened and use the lessons to make better decisions.

You can use it at Your Wedding Reception:

Funny right? When you are finally ready to walk down the aisle, you can get a good photographer or videographer to take pictures of your preferred part of the journal and make nice slides of them then you can share the memories with your friends and families at your wedding reception.

It Strengthens Your Bond:

Journalling is a way of pouring out emotion in a written form. Doing this with your partner is going to help you both spend quality time together while recording and sharing different memories. Doing things like this will help to strengthen your bond and increase your connection.

Note: because you are keeping a joint journal with your partner does not mean you cannot have a personal journal.

I hope to see you again tomorrow. Remember, love is beautiful and we cannot show it to bliss. I love you so much.

How to Differentiate Between Infatuation and Love

According to the Merriam- Webster dictionary, Infatuation is a feeling of foolish or very strong love or admiration for someone or something. A feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something.

Love on the other hand is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person. It is a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

From the definitions above, one can tell that both feelings are strong and it is easy for some people to mix them up but in today’s post, we will be looking into what differentiates these two terms while we refer to Salewa’s story as an example. I didn’t want to bore you with Salewa’s story but she continued her life like that always visiting Kola, calling him over and over, and getting mad at him when you reach out to him and he refuses to respond. We can say Salewa is obsessed with Kola. Anyone in Salewa’s shoes can say they are in love but I will say they are only infatuating.

What makes what you are feeling Love?

You can say one is truly in love when you have seen past the physical appearance of that person. When you meet a lady or a guy and you get closer then try to learn more about what she or he likes, when you become friends with the person and you get to notice their values to a good extent and you still decide to move deeper with the person, then that can be said to be love. Love is a choice you make irrespective of all odds. When the lady is imperfect but you decide to walk with her through her journey to getting better- that is love. Love requires patience and a lot of understanding.

Infatuation?

Infatuation on the other hand is the love of external features. As the above definition states, it is foolish and obsessive. It is dangerous. Another word for this is Crush. This is what Salewa was feeling all along thinking she was in love. All she knows about Kola is that he is tall, dark, handsome, and is well built. She also knows where he lives but this information is not enough for her to cook up a love story for herself. This feeling does not last because they are based on qualities that will fade away with time and as time goes on, the feeling will also fade away.

Most people find ways to justify their feeling as love when it is infatuation. I believe that with what you have learned through Salewa’s story, you will be able to tell yourself if you are truly in love or if you are just infatuating. See you tomorrow. I love you and remember always that love is beautiful and we can nurture it together.

The Importance of Friendship in a Relationship

There is a common saying that “it is better to marry your best friend” and another that “the devil that you have known for a hundred years is better than the angel you just met”, are these sayings true? What does this mean? What if my best friend is not the kind of person that I would love to spend the rest of my life with? What if my best friend and I are of the same sex? All these are what we would be looking into in this post.

Many people get attracted to their partner due to different reasons. For some, the attraction came from the way they heard their partner talk; for others, the first attraction came from the mode of dressing or an act of kindness from their partners. Whatever the case maybe, something has to spark that first attraction for you to like that person. You would agree with me that it would be hard for you to like someone whose personality you cannot even cope with or whose values are entirely different from yours. This is to say that no matter who you would like to be in a relationship with, you would like them to be a person that you can relate very well with.  

  Research has shown that most of the couples that have a happy marriage were friends before they got married. For a relationship to be a good one, you and your partner have to connect on more than one level. This is where friendship comes into play. There is a need to be able to play, plan, read, pray, execute goals with your partner comfortably, this will help to strengthen the relationship and help you bond well with your partner. But how do you bond with someone you don’t even know? Let me start by saying that the person you want to start a relationship with is not necessarily supposed to have been your friend. But, no matter how you met, never skip the friendship stage. 

Tasha just met Ken at the mall and both of them exchanged phone numbers because they had a short time to talk at the mall while they were shopping and they got along so well. They also found out that they agreed on some things like soccer being a really nice game. Later the next day, Ken called Tasha and they both went out for an ice-cream. They had the time to talk more and get to know other things about each other. It was an evening of absolute cruise and thrill as the both of them had lots of fun talking about different things. In the midst of all the fun, Ken decided to ask Tasha a sweet and sincere question, so he said,

 “hey, I find out that we get along so well, and I feel like I have known you for years, (chuckles). Tash, the funniest thing is that we both even love soccer, really, I am so glad I met you at the mall yesterday."

Tasha said, “yes… it has been all fun moments with you.”

Then Ken said, “I would be really glad if we can take this friendship to another level.”

Tasha: "ok…?" (looking a bit shy and confused with a smile on her face)

Ken: "Tasha, I know we haven’t even spent up to 24 hours together but we’ve known so much about each other, so I decided to ask you, will you please be my girlfriend?"

Tasha, now all red and blushing said: "yes! yes! yes! I will love to."

****************************************

Hell no! that was not Tasha’s reply. Tasha said:

“ Ken, the truth remains, I have never felt so connected with a guy, I mean, I also feel like I have known you for a long time, and the fact that we agree on so many things? Wow... but ken, I cannot be your girlfriend, at least, not now. This is because I would really love us to get to know each other even better, so to be fair, let me ask, can we be friends?”

The point is that Tasha was able to put her emotions aside and let herself think. She definitely knew that at some point in the relationship, things might go wrong. So, no matter how bad you might want the relationship, never ever skip the stage of friendship (should I increase the volume?). The friendship stage is essential so that both individuals will get to know the basic things about each other. Things like this include their values, their drive, hobbies, life purpose, family background, personal discipline, work ethics and so on. This might look like a long and endless list of stressful things to do but they are the things that will help you know if you are compatible. Mind you, it is not possible to know all about that person at the stage of friendship.

It is also easy to feel like we can get to know these things while we are dating but the truth is if you remain friends for a reasonable time and watch each other closely, you will be able to discover new things about the other person even without asking them. By just paying attention and observing each other while being friends, you will know if your values and life’s purpose align and you will be able to decide the persons true personality to an extent. It is not possible to hide your true personality for a long time in a friendship and this is because true friends tend to be free with each other. If you are very observant, you will notice some red flags and green flags. In cases where you have discovered that the bad attributes are way more than the good attributes, you will be able to save yourself from having to break up any relationship because you never started one.

Big point: it is not about marrying your best friend, but more about not skipping the stage of friendship in your relationship. It is also not about settling for the devil you’ve known in years but being patient and observant enough to know if the new angel is not another devil in disguise.

 

35 Ways To Say I Love You Without Saying It.

It's quite easy to say the words "I love you" even when you don't truly mean it, this post is not about saying these exact words or even showing it through actions. Don't get me wrong, it's important to tell your significant other how much you love them and even more important to show how much, but today's emphasis is on how other statements can still communicate that love, and in certain situations and contexts might even mean more to your partner than "I love you".

8 Amazing Ways To Keep Her By Your Side Forever

At this point, we're all aware of the power of words to a good extent, and we even know how beautiful it can be when you say something at the right time and even how terrible it can be to say that same thing at the wrong time, human communication is affected greatly by context, tone, and timing among other things.

We've all probably seen movies or read books where something happens between the couple, tempers flare and one of the pair decides to stop shouting and does or says something sweet instead and just like sorcery, it's problem solved! and most times what was said is not "I love you" but we can tell that is what was meant.

Who is Èmí Ògá?

You might want to take note of some of these statements, they could come in handy to give rouse the butterflies in your partner's belly, you might have even used some or had someone use them on you.

1. I adore you

2. You are beautiful

3. You complete me

4. You understand me

5. I am crazy about you

6. I care about you

7. Thank you for loving me

8. You are my precious gift

9. I have fallen for you

10. You make me smile

11. You are a rare gem

12. Your sincerity amazes me

13. I will never find any other person like you because you are unique

14. You are such a blessing

15. You are smart

16. You are amazing

17. I cannot do but protect you, you are my love

Guaranteed: 5 Tips For Better Relationship

18. You are my heart

19. You are the best support system I have

20. Thank you, babe

21. You mean the world to me

22. I see the way you do things and I can say that you are the best at all you do

23. I appreciate your constant care for me

24. You are amazing

25. You are one of a kind

26. I can't get enough of you

27. I miss you

28. I could never hurt you

29. Where have you been all my life?

30. I couldn't do it without you

31. You always inspire me

32. I could stay here with you forever

33. You are God's gift to me

Wait!

Before we go for the last two, I will like to ask, Can we ever say I Love You without actually saying it? Nope! But we can mean it with the words we say. So instead of just saying "I Love You", why not spice things up by adding some more life to them. So you can say

34. I love you to the moon and back

35. I love you till infinity and beyond

Revealed: 5 Major Turnoffs To Avoid In Your Relationship

An extra tip is to use these words not only when you mean them but also in romantic ways. Adding some words to these may cause your partner to fall in love with you again. Use these even if you think you are not romantic and you will be surprised at the effect a word or two will have on the "lines" we have mentioned above.

1. Hey babe, ...

2. Use his or her pet name (then insert the words)

3. My love, ...

4. Sweetie, ...

5. Baby, ...

The list is endless, just switch on your creativity and let it flow.

Apart from just saying these words to your partner, you can also send any of them as a message when your significant other least expects it during the day. Imagine the joy!

You can also write the words on a small piece of paper and put it somewhere he or she can find them. So romantic!

Refuse To Be Fooled In Your Relationship! Who Should Say Sorry First?

Try out any of these and let us know how it goes. Also, share with us in the comments section what other ways the word I Love You can be said without saying it.

Other Posts: 

4 Things I Did To Save My Relationship From Crumbling After Valentine's Day

The best way to manage exes in your relationship

Best way to communicate with your partner 

How To Know If He Or She Is The One For You

Communication in Your Relationship 

Top 10 Restaurants in Ebonyi for Lovers this Valentines Day

Every year, lovers try to celebrate one another in different ways - one of which is spending quality time with each other. For one, lovers can spend quality time with each other over plates of food at a cozy, yet reasonably affordable restaurant. This is why I’m out article today, we have compiled a list of 10

1. Monded Restaurant

Launched in 2023, Monded Restaurant is located at Ezza Road, Abakaliki. Although in a small space, the restaurant features an ambience that’s suitable for lovers, friends and small family gatherings.

2. Chicken Republic

Of a truth, Chicken Republic is a long time restaurant business and while it may not be good taste for everyone, your budget may still afford you the opportunity to patronize them. For lovers this valentine who do not want to use a large budget but still intend to enjoy themselves to the fullest, you can consider visiting any Chicken Republic branch near you in Lagos State.

Top 10 Restaurants in Lagos for Lovers this Valentine

 

Here are top ten

1. Chicken Republic

Of a truth, Chicken Republic is a long time restaurant business and while it may not be good taste for everyone, your budget may still afford you the opportunity to patronize them. For lovers this valentine who do not want to use a large budget but still intend to enjoy themselves to the fullest, you can consider visiting any Chicken Republic branch near you in Lagos State.

2. 

Can I have a Best Friend of the Opposite Sex while in a Relationship?

Many people tend to be more attracted to people of the opposite sex, even just as friends. A guy might find his gist buddy as a female even when they have nothing together - I mean, no strings attached - just simple friendship. What then happens when one of the opposite sex bestie get into a relationship?

Only an insecure and bossy partner will not allow you to have a friend of the opposite sex but no one would be pleased to know that they are second in their partners life. A best friend is someone that is number one after God in an individual's life. This person knows so much about you that other do not know,  this person knows your secret, this person has been a bucket good enough to hold your emotions happy, sad, good or bad. When you need to rant this person is mostly the first you would consider to pour out your heart to, when you need an advice this person is the first you go to ask even when you know clearly that they might not have any solution to what is bothering you. You have so much confidence in them that they won't judge you and they would be very truthful with you at all times.

If one person can be all these to you under the tag of bestie then why can't the person be your partner?

" It would only cause problems and clashes. I just can't take it." Agnes replied when a survey was carried out to know what young individuals in a relationship felt about their partners having an opposite-sex bestie. From the survey 99% of the respondents said they would find it ridiculous that their partner would think of having a best friend of the opposite sex while the remaining 1% remained indifferent about the idea.

Read: Top 10 Restaurants in Ebonyi for Lovers this Valentine’s Day

Having a best friend is ok but having a best friend of the opposite sex would only cause you a lot of problems.
 
When you and your partner have argument this makes it harder for you both to get over the issue quickly because instead of talking to your partner about the situation, you would go to your best friend and pour out your heart to him or her as the case may be. If this continue in the long run you would gradually lose the point of your relationship and one day conclude that you no longer love your partner. This is because you didn't leave a space for you both to work on your issues. Occasionally you people would assume you a couple with that best friend of yours, you would then have to answer questions all the time about how that person is not your partner.

This is not to say you should not have a close friend even when you are in a relationship but do well to define your relationship and friendship your partner should be that best friend and confidant that you need in your life not a friend of the opposite sex.
Opposite sex best friend will be a threat to your relationship in the long run.