How Often Should I Say “I Love You” To My Partner?

At one point or the other in our relationship, there comes this awkward moment maybe after a long heart-to-heart where you think to yourself “should I tell him I love him now or should I wait?”

We often get confused as to how to make use of these 3 cute little but strong words- I LOVE YOU. At times you meet a couple and you find it wired and probably irritating that at every moment or every time they are together they use these words so much and on the other hand you see another couple that barely says these words to each other and now you are confused as to what the right way should be- you just want to know when it is getting too much or when you should say it more.

This is what today's blog post will be about.

Before we move too far, let’s see what these three cute little words are capable of. Saying I love you can get overly irritating at a point- say a lady that calls her boyfriend almost every hour of the day to tell him that she loves him. She might think to herself- "I am just letting him know that I love him" but this might start annoying her boyfriend. At the same time, she might start getting angry because her boyfriend who claims to love her does not even say it to her- she needs assurance.

These words I LOVE YOU have a lot of power. When used in the right context and said the right way, they can make the hardest heart melt, and turn the hottest situation between a couple into long-lasting tears, a hug and cuddle tournament. And when used at the wrong time or context, can be as bad as pouring fuel onto a burning car. This is to simply state that there can be a right or wrong way of making use of these words.

Damilare got back from the gym and he remembered that his wife- Tola asked him to please get her two large onion bulbs from the grocery store on his way. That was the only thing that she needed to finish preparing for their launch. When Damilare got in and Tola asked for the onions, he remembered and told her that he forgot. Tola (sad, tired and angry said to him with tears almost rolling down her cheeks) “why did you forget, I begged you and you said you will get it for me, I really would have gone for it myself but I am so tired from all the cooking and cleaning in the house, what do I do now?” Damilare recognizing what he has done went up to his wife and apologized for forgetting to get the onions from the grocery store. Tola looking all tired replied to him, “you said you were sorry the last time too babe.” Damilare went further to tell her that he had a lot on his mind but it was never his intention to make her sad. With a little lift in her spirit, Tola sighed and said “it is ok babe.” And then, at that moment, Damilare looked her in the eyes and used the three cute little words. He said, “Hey babe, I love you, I really do.” And that was it, a pause to cooking and a play to a 30 minutes romantic moment filled with kisses, hugs, cuddles, and love in the air.

Whew! Those words must carry a lot of weight. Sonia on the other hand was that girl that felt she needed to let her boyfriend know every time that she loves him. Keve on the other hand is a person that thinks saying ‘I love you is overrated. This raised some dust between this couple and at last when they got to talk about the whole ‘I love you’ issue, Sonia stated how she felt and she wanted Keve to just always assure her that he loves her. Keve still thinks he does not have to spell it out for her to know that he loves her. At the end of their conversation, Sonia requested that her boyfriend at least give her assurance again. Keve (who was still wondering what the connection between saying it and feeling assured is) said to Sonia in a sharp, low almost grumbling tone ‘I love you.’ Wasn’t that supposed to make Sonia feel assured? It didn’t, she rather felt so unloved and she left angry. What a world!

From the two scenarios, it is important to note that, it wasn’t just the saying of those words- I love you, but it was the emotions that came with them that gave them the power they had. Which is to tell us that there is more to those words than just saying them or how many times you say them to your partner. Context and emotion are key. To some people like Keve, saying these words is not even as important as showing it- which can be true, but what if you have a Sonia as a partner- whoo thinks stating the love is super important?

Emotions mean so much, it speaks the real message, they can be said to be the mitochondrion (powerhouse) of anything we say. Far from saying you love that person that is so dear to your heart, you have to make sure that you always mind the kind of power- emotions that come with the way you talk to your partner. That is one of the things that matter, it is not about just saying it, it is about making them feel it, in the way that you mean it. When I say emotions, I mean your facial expression, body language, tone, and actions at that moment.

Does getting the right emotions give us the license to say “I love you” every minute or once in a blue moon?

In your relationship, you need to know what works for both of you so that you won’t be doing things the wrong way thinking that you are trying to help or make things right. As much as you can, it is best to let your partner know that you love them, this helps to make your partner recognize that they still have a space in your heart. But is it true that saying “I love you” is overrated? I would say- No. maybe just the words that we use in conveying this message and emotions is what is overrated. You can still let your partner know that they mean so much to you without saying “I love you.”

Other ways that you can covey this emotion of love to your partner are:

• Saying, “honey you mean so much to me”

• “I appreciate the way you love me “

• “being with you is not a mistake because you bring out the best in me” etc.

There is this common saying that “action speaks louder than voice.” You can also let your partner know that you love them by doing for them those things that matter to them. This can be as small as helping them out with a chore or attending a game with them or being there when they need someone to give them a listening ear. If you can do this alongside stating verbally that you love your partner, you are going to be building stronger bonds between the both of you.

The truth is it is no right or wrong amount of time to say the “I love you” but for those that say it, they say it, no matter what because when said with the right emotions and followed by the right actions, it yields a great result. They say it:

• When they are feeling happy and mushy 

• Literally all the time

• Even when they are angry

• When they just want to be vulnerable

They say it all the time (but not to the extent of being in their partner's face frustratingly).

I Love You 😘

Related Posts:

Privacy in a Relationship

Who Should Say Sorry First?

Communication in a Relationship 

Friendship and Relationship ( Importance of Friendship in a Relationship)

Relationship Gist (Things Couples Should Talk About in their Relationship)

5 tips on how to survive a breakup. 

Being with the right person 

Couple's Gist 

5 Reasons Why You Should Keep a Joint Relationship Journal with Your Partner.

Today, just as to title speaks we will be discussing 5 reasons why you should keep a joint relationship journal but first let's talk about what a journal is before we dive into what it can do for us.

Journal?

A journal is a book where you write down occurrences and events, lessons learned and Memories shared in your life. It is just like a diary. Some people have different journals for various aspects of their life: spiritual, health, physical, relationship e.t.c while some people have mastered the art of fitting all the happenings in their life into one journal. Either way, keeping a journal is very important for you as an individual. Now, having a joint journal with your partner is an interesting and essential thing to do. Are you wondering why it was so? Then stay with me till the end. Here are 5 reasons why you should have a joint journal in your relationship.

It is a way of Keeping Memories:

Keeping a memory is a way of reminding yourself about life's experiences. Keeping memories that you and your partner have had together is one of the most interesting things you can ever do together because every time you go back to the memories emotions of the past is brought to life in the present.

It is a Way of Tracking Your Growth:

The second reason why you should keep a joint relationship journal with your partner is so that you can track your growth. As a couple, you both have outgrown some things while some other things have been added to you since the time you've been together. A joint journal will help you to have it in the records.

It Helps You to Learn from The Past to Make the Future Better:

Consistency in journalling activities that are occurred in your relationship will give rise to a great number of memories; good, bad, happy, sad. With those memories, you can always go back to learn from the various things that have happened and use the lessons to make better decisions.

You can use it at Your Wedding Reception:

Funny right? When you are finally ready to walk down the aisle, you can get a good photographer or videographer to take pictures of your preferred part of the journal and make nice slides of them then you can share the memories with your friends and families at your wedding reception.

It Strengthens Your Bond:

Journalling is a way of pouring out emotion in a written form. Doing this with your partner is going to help you both spend quality time together while recording and sharing different memories. Doing things like this will help to strengthen your bond and increase your connection.

Note: because you are keeping a joint journal with your partner does not mean you cannot have a personal journal.

I hope to see you again tomorrow. Remember, love is beautiful and we cannot show it to bliss. I love you so much.

How to Differentiate Between Infatuation and Love

According to the Merriam- Webster dictionary, Infatuation is a feeling of foolish or very strong love or admiration for someone or something. A feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something.

Love on the other hand is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person. It is a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

From the definitions above, one can tell that both feelings are strong and it is easy for some people to mix them up but in today’s post, we will be looking into what differentiates these two terms while we refer to Salewa’s story as an example. I didn’t want to bore you with Salewa’s story but she continued her life like that always visiting Kola, calling him over and over, and getting mad at him when you reach out to him and he refuses to respond. We can say Salewa is obsessed with Kola. Anyone in Salewa’s shoes can say they are in love but I will say they are only infatuating.

What makes what you are feeling Love?

You can say one is truly in love when you have seen past the physical appearance of that person. When you meet a lady or a guy and you get closer then try to learn more about what she or he likes, when you become friends with the person and you get to notice their values to a good extent and you still decide to move deeper with the person, then that can be said to be love. Love is a choice you make irrespective of all odds. When the lady is imperfect but you decide to walk with her through her journey to getting better- that is love. Love requires patience and a lot of understanding.

Infatuation?

Infatuation on the other hand is the love of external features. As the above definition states, it is foolish and obsessive. It is dangerous. Another word for this is Crush. This is what Salewa was feeling all along thinking she was in love. All she knows about Kola is that he is tall, dark, handsome, and is well built. She also knows where he lives but this information is not enough for her to cook up a love story for herself. This feeling does not last because they are based on qualities that will fade away with time and as time goes on, the feeling will also fade away.

Most people find ways to justify their feeling as love when it is infatuation. I believe that with what you have learned through Salewa’s story, you will be able to tell yourself if you are truly in love or if you are just infatuating. See you tomorrow. I love you and remember always that love is beautiful and we can nurture it together.

The Importance of Friendship in a Relationship

There is a common saying that “it is better to marry your best friend” and another that “the devil that you have known for a hundred years is better than the angel you just met”, are these sayings true? What does this mean? What if my best friend is not the kind of person that I would love to spend the rest of my life with? What if my best friend and I are of the same sex? All these are what we would be looking into in this post.

Many people get attracted to their partner due to different reasons. For some, the attraction came from the way they heard their partner talk; for others, the first attraction came from the mode of dressing or an act of kindness from their partners. Whatever the case maybe, something has to spark that first attraction for you to like that person. You would agree with me that it would be hard for you to like someone whose personality you cannot even cope with or whose values are entirely different from yours. This is to say that no matter who you would like to be in a relationship with, you would like them to be a person that you can relate very well with.  

  Research has shown that most of the couples that have a happy marriage were friends before they got married. For a relationship to be a good one, you and your partner have to connect on more than one level. This is where friendship comes into play. There is a need to be able to play, plan, read, pray, execute goals with your partner comfortably, this will help to strengthen the relationship and help you bond well with your partner. But how do you bond with someone you don’t even know? Let me start by saying that the person you want to start a relationship with is not necessarily supposed to have been your friend. But, no matter how you met, never skip the friendship stage. 

Tasha just met Ken at the mall and both of them exchanged phone numbers because they had a short time to talk at the mall while they were shopping and they got along so well. They also found out that they agreed on some things like soccer being a really nice game. Later the next day, Ken called Tasha and they both went out for an ice-cream. They had the time to talk more and get to know other things about each other. It was an evening of absolute cruise and thrill as the both of them had lots of fun talking about different things. In the midst of all the fun, Ken decided to ask Tasha a sweet and sincere question, so he said,

 “hey, I find out that we get along so well, and I feel like I have known you for years, (chuckles). Tash, the funniest thing is that we both even love soccer, really, I am so glad I met you at the mall yesterday."

Tasha said, “yes… it has been all fun moments with you.”

Then Ken said, “I would be really glad if we can take this friendship to another level.”

Tasha: "ok…?" (looking a bit shy and confused with a smile on her face)

Ken: "Tasha, I know we haven’t even spent up to 24 hours together but we’ve known so much about each other, so I decided to ask you, will you please be my girlfriend?"

Tasha, now all red and blushing said: "yes! yes! yes! I will love to."

****************************************

Hell no! that was not Tasha’s reply. Tasha said:

“ Ken, the truth remains, I have never felt so connected with a guy, I mean, I also feel like I have known you for a long time, and the fact that we agree on so many things? Wow... but ken, I cannot be your girlfriend, at least, not now. This is because I would really love us to get to know each other even better, so to be fair, let me ask, can we be friends?”

The point is that Tasha was able to put her emotions aside and let herself think. She definitely knew that at some point in the relationship, things might go wrong. So, no matter how bad you might want the relationship, never ever skip the stage of friendship (should I increase the volume?). The friendship stage is essential so that both individuals will get to know the basic things about each other. Things like this include their values, their drive, hobbies, life purpose, family background, personal discipline, work ethics and so on. This might look like a long and endless list of stressful things to do but they are the things that will help you know if you are compatible. Mind you, it is not possible to know all about that person at the stage of friendship.

It is also easy to feel like we can get to know these things while we are dating but the truth is if you remain friends for a reasonable time and watch each other closely, you will be able to discover new things about the other person even without asking them. By just paying attention and observing each other while being friends, you will know if your values and life’s purpose align and you will be able to decide the persons true personality to an extent. It is not possible to hide your true personality for a long time in a friendship and this is because true friends tend to be free with each other. If you are very observant, you will notice some red flags and green flags. In cases where you have discovered that the bad attributes are way more than the good attributes, you will be able to save yourself from having to break up any relationship because you never started one.

Big point: it is not about marrying your best friend, but more about not skipping the stage of friendship in your relationship. It is also not about settling for the devil you’ve known in years but being patient and observant enough to know if the new angel is not another devil in disguise.

 

35 Ways To Say I Love You Without Saying It.

It's quite easy to say the words "I love you" even when you don't truly mean it, this post is not about saying these exact words or even showing it through actions. Don't get me wrong, it's important to tell your significant other how much you love them and even more important to show how much, but today's emphasis is on how other statements can still communicate that love, and in certain situations and contexts might even mean more to your partner than "I love you".

8 Amazing Ways To Keep Her By Your Side Forever

At this point, we're all aware of the power of words to a good extent, and we even know how beautiful it can be when you say something at the right time and even how terrible it can be to say that same thing at the wrong time, human communication is affected greatly by context, tone, and timing among other things.

We've all probably seen movies or read books where something happens between the couple, tempers flare and one of the pair decides to stop shouting and does or says something sweet instead and just like sorcery, it's problem solved! and most times what was said is not "I love you" but we can tell that is what was meant.

Who is Èmí Ògá?

You might want to take note of some of these statements, they could come in handy to give rouse the butterflies in your partner's belly, you might have even used some or had someone use them on you.

1. I adore you

2. You are beautiful

3. You complete me

4. You understand me

5. I am crazy about you

6. I care about you

7. Thank you for loving me

8. You are my precious gift

9. I have fallen for you

10. You make me smile

11. You are a rare gem

12. Your sincerity amazes me

13. I will never find any other person like you because you are unique

14. You are such a blessing

15. You are smart

16. You are amazing

17. I cannot do but protect you, you are my love

Guaranteed: 5 Tips For Better Relationship

18. You are my heart

19. You are the best support system I have

20. Thank you, babe

21. You mean the world to me

22. I see the way you do things and I can say that you are the best at all you do

23. I appreciate your constant care for me

24. You are amazing

25. You are one of a kind

26. I can't get enough of you

27. I miss you

28. I could never hurt you

29. Where have you been all my life?

30. I couldn't do it without you

31. You always inspire me

32. I could stay here with you forever

33. You are God's gift to me

Wait!

Before we go for the last two, I will like to ask, Can we ever say I Love You without actually saying it? Nope! But we can mean it with the words we say. So instead of just saying "I Love You", why not spice things up by adding some more life to them. So you can say

34. I love you to the moon and back

35. I love you till infinity and beyond

Revealed: 5 Major Turnoffs To Avoid In Your Relationship

An extra tip is to use these words not only when you mean them but also in romantic ways. Adding some words to these may cause your partner to fall in love with you again. Use these even if you think you are not romantic and you will be surprised at the effect a word or two will have on the "lines" we have mentioned above.

1. Hey babe, ...

2. Use his or her pet name (then insert the words)

3. My love, ...

4. Sweetie, ...

5. Baby, ...

The list is endless, just switch on your creativity and let it flow.

Apart from just saying these words to your partner, you can also send any of them as a message when your significant other least expects it during the day. Imagine the joy!

You can also write the words on a small piece of paper and put it somewhere he or she can find them. So romantic!

Refuse To Be Fooled In Your Relationship! Who Should Say Sorry First?

Try out any of these and let us know how it goes. Also, share with us in the comments section what other ways the word I Love You can be said without saying it.

Other Posts: 

4 Things I Did To Save My Relationship From Crumbling After Valentine's Day

The best way to manage exes in your relationship

Best way to communicate with your partner 

How To Know If He Or She Is The One For You

Communication in Your Relationship 

Top 10 Restaurants in Ebonyi for Lovers this Valentines Day

Every year, lovers try to celebrate one another in different ways - one of which is spending quality time with each other. For one, lovers can spend quality time with each other over plates of food at a cozy, yet reasonably affordable restaurant. This is why I’m out article today, we have compiled a list of 10

1. Monded Restaurant

Launched in 2023, Monded Restaurant is located at Ezza Road, Abakaliki. Although in a small space, the restaurant features an ambience that’s suitable for lovers, friends and small family gatherings.

2. Chicken Republic

Of a truth, Chicken Republic is a long time restaurant business and while it may not be good taste for everyone, your budget may still afford you the opportunity to patronize them. For lovers this valentine who do not want to use a large budget but still intend to enjoy themselves to the fullest, you can consider visiting any Chicken Republic branch near you in Lagos State.

Top 10 Restaurants in Lagos for Lovers this Valentine

 

Here are top ten

1. Chicken Republic

Of a truth, Chicken Republic is a long time restaurant business and while it may not be good taste for everyone, your budget may still afford you the opportunity to patronize them. For lovers this valentine who do not want to use a large budget but still intend to enjoy themselves to the fullest, you can consider visiting any Chicken Republic branch near you in Lagos State.

2. 

Can I have a Best Friend of the Opposite Sex while in a Relationship?

Many people tend to be more attracted to people of the opposite sex, even just as friends. A guy might find his gist buddy as a female even when they have nothing together - I mean, no strings attached - just simple friendship. What then happens when one of the opposite sex bestie get into a relationship?

Only an insecure and bossy partner will not allow you to have a friend of the opposite sex but no one would be pleased to know that they are second in their partners life. A best friend is someone that is number one after God in an individual's life. This person knows so much about you that other do not know,  this person knows your secret, this person has been a bucket good enough to hold your emotions happy, sad, good or bad. When you need to rant this person is mostly the first you would consider to pour out your heart to, when you need an advice this person is the first you go to ask even when you know clearly that they might not have any solution to what is bothering you. You have so much confidence in them that they won't judge you and they would be very truthful with you at all times.

If one person can be all these to you under the tag of bestie then why can't the person be your partner?

" It would only cause problems and clashes. I just can't take it." Agnes replied when a survey was carried out to know what young individuals in a relationship felt about their partners having an opposite-sex bestie. From the survey 99% of the respondents said they would find it ridiculous that their partner would think of having a best friend of the opposite sex while the remaining 1% remained indifferent about the idea.

Read: Top 10 Restaurants in Ebonyi for Lovers this Valentine’s Day

Having a best friend is ok but having a best friend of the opposite sex would only cause you a lot of problems.
 
When you and your partner have argument this makes it harder for you both to get over the issue quickly because instead of talking to your partner about the situation, you would go to your best friend and pour out your heart to him or her as the case may be. If this continue in the long run you would gradually lose the point of your relationship and one day conclude that you no longer love your partner. This is because you didn't leave a space for you both to work on your issues. Occasionally you people would assume you a couple with that best friend of yours, you would then have to answer questions all the time about how that person is not your partner.

This is not to say you should not have a close friend even when you are in a relationship but do well to define your relationship and friendship your partner should be that best friend and confidant that you need in your life not a friend of the opposite sex.
Opposite sex best friend will be a threat to your relationship in the long run.

10 Games Every Long Distance Couple Should Play Today

The essence of playing games as a couple is to have activities that always bring you together. With nothing bringing you together, your significant other will gradually become insignificant. Hence, the constant need to stay connected. One of the ways to foster quality connection between you and your significant other is to create time for each other irrespective of your tight and busy schedules.

The essence of this article is to ease the stress of thinking back and forth on how best you should spend your time together, or what to spend your time with your partner doing. This article discusses ten (10) fun and exciting games you can play with your partner even when you are miles apart.

How to Make the Game Fun

You can choose to play the games with other couples onsite or online. If you decide to play the game online due to the distance between you and your partner and you also decide to play the game with other couples, can create a common group for all of you either on WhatsApp, Telegram, or Facebook where essential information about the game will be discussed before the start of the game.

If you and your partner are the types who enjoy playing large and having a good time on a larger scale, you can make your game nights/days even more enjoyable by choosing platforms where your games are more open to a broader audience. It'll resemble a reality show. Twitter spaces, Clubhouse, Instagram Live, and Facebook live can all be used to do this. You can invite random couples to participate or keep it closed to just you and your couple buddies.

Try to explore all your options and do what works best for you, most of these games are simple and there are a few on the list for real gaming enthusiasts too. Without further ado, let’s dive straight into the games.

1. Truth or Dare

This is an age-long game played among friends and couples. The rule of the game is to take turns on who is to ask the question truth or dare. Turns can be taken onsite by spinning a bottle or randomly if the game is being played online. The person whose turn it is has to pick “Truth" or "Dare"

Picking "Truth" requires you to give a totally honest answer to a question asked by one of the players while Picking "Dare" requires you to carry out whatever action you're dared to, failure to do so means disqualification.

2. Never Have I Ever

This is one game you have to play with an open mind, each person has a limited number of "lives" let's call it that for the sake of this article, a statement is read out from a source, could be the internet or the players could come up with their own, so, for instance, the statement is "never have I ever gotten drunk" every player who HAS gotten drunk loses a life, anyone who HASN'T retains their life, the last player with lives left after a series of questions wins the round. In a game like this you can easily get to find out things you probably didn't already know about your partner, try not to take things personal, see it as a chance to get to know them a little better, and have discussion topics for later.

Read: Top 10 Restaurants in Ebonyi for Lovers this Valentine’s Day

3. Complete the Lyrics

This is quite simple and would be really fun for music lovers, one of the players says the lyrics to a song, and the player whose turn it is would be expected to correctly finish the lyrics, you might know the song or you could guess what it could be and find out if you're psychic.

4. Yes or No

This is another game that could make you and your partner burst into laughter now and then. To play the yes or no game, a simple and direct question that is supposed to have the answer YES or NO will be asked but you are not allowed to answer the question with either YES or NO.

For instance, if you ask a question like “did you fall in love with me at first sight?” a normal answer will be YES or NO but for this game the player is required to answer by saying something like, “from the first time I set my eyes on you, I knew that you were the one for me” or “oh, it was after we became

friends and got a bit closer”. Now, the game gets more fun and intense after the first question because you are to keep asking questions that require them to reply either yes or no without giving the player time to think about it. So, you can follow the first question with “did you say you just fell in love with

me at first sight.” and “did you think I was beautiful” or “were we sitting close to each other when we met” and you can go on and on and on until the person finally answers a question with either yes or no. The person who lasts the longest without saying any of these words (Yes or No) wins the game.

Guess the Movie

This game would be enjoyed by couples who see movies a lot. Depending on what you have access to, it might be a short clip, a picture or you can say out loud a statement from a movie and your partner will be required to guess the movie where the clip, picture, or statement was gotten from.

I Spy

This game is really popular and you have probably seen it done in movies when a family is on a road trip or vacation but

it doesn't always require players to be in the same space, I think

playing this game when you're in a different space than your partner adds to

the excitement and fun, you get to really think about where your partner could

be and what they could be looking at. In "I spy" a player says "I spy with my little eye, something..." then leaves a clue about what they're looking at, the clue could be a color, shape, or both, players set the rules and can have all the fun they want for as long as they want.

Two Truths and One Lie

I'm a terrible liar so I probably would be terrible at this one, the game requires you to make three statements about yourself, two of them should be true and one should be a lie, the aim is to make the lie sound as convincing as possible or at least not obvious and the other player or players have to try to figure out which of the statements is false.

This or That

This or that is a simple game that helps you know a person's preferences, it's really straightforward: two options are given by one player say "strawberry or chocolate" and the other player or players simply pick one over the other. You might've thought your partner or friend loves strawberry ice cream just to find out they're actually mad over chocolate, makes for a good laugh and conversation and gives you a little more insight into your partner or the other players.

Need For Speed

This game is one of many classic car racing games and has different versions some of which have multiplayer capabilities. If you and your partner are car lovers of just like a good healthy competition then you'll enjoy this.

Set up your cars how you like and see how your racing machine and skills compare to your partner's, take on different challenges, events, and race tracks, and don't be scared to rub it in your partner's face when you leave them in your dust, I'm kidding, don't take the bragging too far.

Call of Duty

The mobile version of this game has gained traction over the last few years, call of Duty is a multiplayer game that can simply be summarized as teams taking each other out to achieve an objective or till there is only one team or player left. The game allows teammates to communicate with each other during matches so you can strategize, experience each other’s reactions, or just have good conversation while playing. There are loads of ways you can play games like these and they tend to pull pure undiluted reactions from players especially in heated moments while playing. There are several ways a couple can enjoy this game together, here are a few suggestions; build each other's load-outs, have a kill race, give each other in-game challenges and play with another couple as a team or against each other to spice things up.

Remember these games are all aimed at helping you get closer with your partner, get to know each other better, and create fun memories together irrespective of the difference in your location. You can decide to have all the fun you want while

playing any of these games. Also spice things up and make them

work for you. I hope to see you in the comment section where you can share with

us your favorite of all 10 games. Also, feel free to share new and fun games

that couples can also play in the comment section. 

Communication in Your Relationship The essence of playing games as a couple is to have

activities that always bring you together. With nothing bringing you together, your significant other will gradually become insignificant. Hence, the constant need to stay connected. One of the ways to foster quality connection between you and your significant other is to create time for each other irrespective of your tight and busy schedules.

Conclusion

The essence of this article is to ease the stress of thinking back and forth on how best you should spend your time together, or what to spend your time with your partner doing. This article discusses 10

fun and exciting games you can play with your partner even when you are miles

apart.

How to Make the Game Fun

You can choose to play the games with other couples onsite or online. If you decide to play the game online due to the distance between you and your partner and you also decide to play the game with other couples, can create a common group for all of you either on WhatsApp, Telegram, or Facebook where essential information about the game will be discussed before the start of the game.

If you and your partner are the types who enjoy playing large and having a good time on a larger scale, you can make your game nights/days even more enjoyable by choosing platforms where your games are more open to a broader audience. It'll resemble a reality show. Twitter spaces, Clubhouse, Instagram Live, and Facebook live can all be used to do this. You can invite random couples to participate or keep it closed to just you and your couple buddies. 

Relationship Gist (Things You Should Talk About In Your Relationship)

Read: 5 Tips to Help You Build a Better Relationship

Try to explore all your options and do what works best for you. Most of these games are simple and there are a few on the list for real gaming enthusiasts too. Without further ado, let’s dive straight into the games.

Conclusion

Remember that these games are all aimed at helping you get closer with your partner, get to know each other better, and create fun memories together irrespective of the difference in your location. You can decide to have all the fun you want while playing any of these games. Also spice things up and make them work for you. I hope to see you in the comment section where you can share with

us your favorite of all 10 games. Also, feel free to share other fun games that couples can also play in the comment section. 

Our 2024 Love Letter

                                 To you, my darling. 

Hey Sweetie,

If you ask me, I want this year to be full of adventures and challenges because by your side I feel super capable of anything, you are the muse that motivates my great works you give me so much strength to fight for my dreams you are everything to me.

It is I Lolonyo and I say Happy New Year Love.

How are you in this year 2021? How have the past five days been for you? I hope it has been good and I hope to hear from you. Feel free to share with me on my email For me it has been a lot of planning and replanning as I didn't get the chance to start planning for the year-earlier and that is why I haven't gotten in touch with you over some time.

I have got a lot of queries as to why lolonyo hasn't started anything this year and I would like to say I am sorry for keeping you waiting.

Before I move too far let me say that I cannot quantify how grateful I am to you for making 2020 a great year. It would not have been that good if you, my darling reader didn't come through for me both to read and drop your comment. Here we are again in this new year I just need you to know that your opinions of very valid in this community. I look forward to hearing all that you have to share with me. I would be glad to know those relationship topics that you would want us to talk about on the community blog and all our social media pages.

If this is your first time in the community, welcome, I am glad to have you here and I hope you always find a family here in the community.

This year I would love to pour out my heart to you all of the time, to let you know what exactly fuels this passion that I have for talking and building Godly relationships. It would be of great help to me if you take a few minutes, just about a couple of minutes to subscribe to the community blog page by hitting the subscribe button and follow the community both on Twitter and Instagram @lolonyonb. 

Your feedback means the world to me please keep it coming this year- let's do you! let to us! Let's show the world that love is truly beautiful and here is where we nurture the bliss of love- Lolonyo (Nurturing Bliss)

Lastly, my first relationship advice to you this year is to make sure that in all your relationships both romantic and unromantic, you always find a way to calm down and communicate effectively. Let's us all cut some slack, times will come when that person you love or trust so well will wrong you, times when you will feel betrayed and hurt (it won't be all fun throughout the remaining 330 days of this year) but please do not let your ego set in to make worse what a simple conversation would have solved, seek peace and understanding always. Above all seek love, just calm down and discuss it with all sincerity. 

Albeit, you would love to solve all those problems and pretend that those occasions that angered you never came into play- you should also not close your eyes to the red flags. Hold yourself in high esteem (you deserve to be happy always) and be true to yourself and all those around you. Do to others what you want them to do to you. Enjoy your year and I hope to hear from you soon.

2 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Sex Before Marriage

There was once an online challenge where parents were to test their children’s obedience and resistance to sweet things.

When Tami saw this challenge, she decided to try it with her kids- Katy and Elon who are 5 years and 7 years old respectively. Tami placed a box of chocolates in front of Katy and Elon and told the both of them not to eat any and to watch it till she comes back. She told them that they would get to eat the chocolates when she got back and then said goodbye. Katy and Elon happen to love chocolates so much, what child doesn't? Their mom seemed to be taking long Three things could happen;

• Katy and Elon could overcome their temptation by being obedient and waiting for their mom.

• Both of them could have decided to go against their mom's instruction and eat the candies anyway.

• The last thing is that Katy and Elon could have decided to play a wise game of taking the chocolates, licking 

them, and placing them back in the box.

Ok! This is the point where we eave the kids and their mom. Do you want to know what Katy and Elon did?

In most cases, dating or courting couples find themselves in place of Katy and Elon when it comes to sex and sexual activities. In this case, couples are Katy and Elon and their mom is God. The box of chocolates is sex. In relationships, three things can happen;

• Partners may choose to be obedient to the will of God and keep sex till after marriage
• Some don’t care about keeping sex sacred. They just go for it anyways.
• The last set of people are those that feel they are wise and then decide to engage in other sexual activities like kissing, caressing, pornography, etc.

Today, we will be talking about the last two sets of people. Those that don’t care and those that try to be wise. And that brings us to the 2 reasons why you should avoid sex and sexual activities before marriage.

1. It Is a Sin against God

I can already almost hear you say ‘there you go again!’ but it is what it is. 1st Corinthians 6 says a whole lot about sexual immorality, especially among unmarried couples. As children of God and God’s creation, we are meant to live for His glory and make ourselves a living sacrifice to Him (see Romans 12:2). Having sex outside of wedlock would only displease Him.

2. It is a Sin Against Yourself

1st Corinthians 6: 15-16 & 18-20 said it plainly and explicitly. You cannot join the body of a prostitute with the body of Christ and because of our nature in Christ and because our body is the temple of Christ, we have to hold it in high regard. The moment you commit these sexual sins you separate yourself from Christ and remember that John 15:5 already made it clear that the one who is cut away from Christ shall do nothing good. How then is this not sin against yourself because you have just succeeded in separating yourself from the graces that you were supposed to enjoy?

Conclusion

These two reasons are why you should not have sex or allow sexual activities that would trigger sex to happen between you and your partner before marriage. 

And for Katy and Elon, they chose to obey their mother and wait till she got back from wherever she went to.

5 Relationship Lessons from the Life of Boaz and Ruth

Today, we would be looking at and sharing our lessons from the story of Boaz and Ruth and we would be studying/ discussing Ruth 2: 1-13 and Ruth 4:1-17.

The story of Ruth and her Mother-in-law, Naomi is quite popular. The story talks about a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law who stayed and lived together after their husbands died. Ruth had refusef to go back to her house but to stay with her mother-in-law till death, a commitment to not just her husband but to his family (till death).

When we look at the life of Ruth and Boaz separately and how they were groomed before coming together to become one, we get to learn the following about Ruth:

1. Ruth never gave up: This is shown throughout the scriptures from her desire to stay with her mother in law to her desire to search for food for both her mother in law and herself in order to prevent hunger.

 

Couple | Image- www.ifegrace.com

2. Ruth was Hardworking

Ruth could have sat down, crossed her legs and complained about how God wasn't fair or about how poor widows were. But she didn't. She told her mother inlaw she was going to find food and she did. And when she did, she kept at it, working hard and only taking a break when needed. The question here is what has God placed in your hands? What do you have that you are doing? Are you doing it with all your might or nonchalantly yet, you feel your prayers are not being answered? Think about it.

3. Ruth was Obedient

She was obedient to God, obedient to her mother in law. She did whatever she asked her to do. In fact she adores her mother in law. With all her might. Think about it: are you ready to be obedient to your mother in law? Are you ready to allow her to guide you and correct you when you make mistakes? Are you ready to respect her like you would respect your mother ?

4. Ruth spoke words laced with grace and respect: she spoke respectfully to her mother in law and even to Boaz. When he asked her to glean as much as she can, she thanked him, she appreciated him. And she prayed for him (a stranger). What kind of words come out of your mouth? Are they words seasoned with grace and laced with respect?

5. Ruth made herself Available

In chapter 3, we see where Naomi gave Ruth tips on how to get Boaz to marry her (after she discovered he was a relative liable for marriage to Ruth). Naomi asked her to have her bath, use perfume and dress in her best clothes. Sometimes, we're trusting God for relationships and we are looking hoping and praying and believing. But the truth is packaging also matters when it comes to relationships. We all need to learn to dress well not just on the outside but also on the inside so that whenever the right person comes along, he or she wouldn't be chased away based on how we look/talk. And for those who are in relationships, dressing, seasoned words play an important role in our relationships.

For Boaz, here are some of the lessons we can learn.

1. Boaz was hardworking

Boaz as a single was hard working. If he didn't have that field Ruth had the opportunity to work on, maybe he would never have met her. Guys, you're hoping for a particular kind of woman but what kind of man are you? Boaz was able to provide for Ruth (even before marriage) we all can't keep lazying around and expect the best relationships. What do you have in your hands? What are your gifts and talents and abilities? Are you using them? Or you're waiting for one big opportunity to come. Boaz started from somewhere. He was a farmer. It was hard work and persistence that helped him get so much in order to own a field.

2. Boaz was observant

He noticed Ruth. He saw what was good and he made inquiries about it. "Who is that woman?" He asked his servant. And for Ruth too, she stood out. That's why Boaz was able to notice her. Have you discovered anything that makes you stand out from the crowd? Everyone is unique in one way or the other and most times it's what makes you stand out that gets you noticed. As we hope and pray and believe for great relationships, there is the need to be observant and at alert so as not to miss what God has for us.

3. Boaz had values and he understood traditions 

Boaz knew what he stood for and he stood by it. He didn't take advantage of Ruth when she came to lie at his feet. Instead, he did as expected and followed traditions and ensured Ruth received what was due to her. It says a whole lot about Boaz and what he stands for. Do people know you for what you stand for?

Remember if you stand for nothing, you would fall for anything. He also respected traditions and he followed procedure. For most things in life, there is always a procedure. We shouldn't neglect the process in haste to get results. The patient dog eats the fattest bone. Never forget that.

Ruth was said to love her mother in law. It was so obvious the people of the town made comment about her being worth more than seven sons.

For singles, determine to love your mother in laws. If you go into marriage with the mindset that mother in laws are devils, you would most likely have problems with your mother in law. Also, delay is never denial. In chapter 1, Ruth was married to Mahlon for 10 years. She didn't conceive, she didn't have children. She might have received insults and looked at one way or the other but when it was time, the Bible says God blessed her (provision) and she conceived which was not long after she and Boaz got married. Therefore, let us not forget that God always has plans and whether today looks great or not, we can trust Him about tomorrow cos we are assured He has our best interest at heart.

How to Know

Remember that man that wants to swim and the lady seeking a Godly relationship from the last post? Yes… They had something in common and that is recognizing the goal, they knew what they wanted. I asked a question in the last post “what happens if one does not know the purpose of his existence?”. What happens if we don’t know? If you are reading this post and you are single, I will like to say congratulations because you are really lucky (you have the time to discover yourself), but if you are already married, or courting/dating, I say to you, it is not too late at all to know the reason for your existence.

How then do I know?

Permit me to refer to the scriptures, Matthew 22:37-39 explains the connection between having a relationship with God and having a relationship with a man. There

e has to exist in you a connection with your greater self, you need to know yourself and the only way to do this is to connect with God so that He will open you up and help you see that unique purpose of your existence, he will help you to know what to look out for in your life and relationship. It is only when you can connect with God and connect with yourself, will you be able to connect with others in the right way because you can only love someone at the level that you love yourself.  Discovering yourself then requires respecting yourself, loving yourself, and knowing your core values.

To all my single folks, this is the time to discover yourself, don’t be in a rush to enter into a relationship that you will end up regretting and rushing out of. You need to know yourself and this period of singleness is the best time you have. You need to take your time to build a relationship with God so that He will show you things that are hidden about you but can be a stumbling block or a rising stone to you in your future relationship and then he will show you how to make good use of them. Do not be pressured because you are still single and all your friends are in a relationship or are engaged. The point is not in being engaged nor being in a relationship but knowing how to sail the boat when you are in it, what then happens is, you don’t have what it takes to be a sailor, but you still decide to sail the boat of relationship? Nothing but disaster happens. This means before you decide to sail a boat you need to have understood what it takes to be a sailor, understand how life on a boat works, water flow/current, different weather, and what wave-type comes with them. It is the same in a relationship, you have to build yourself to be ready for the relationship and then be aware of the does and don’ts in a relationship so that when you finally get into one you won’t regret it.

Imagine you go into a relationship without knowing what you want from life or the relationship or you build all your relationship goals on mere fantasies (just like the Disney princesses happily ever after stories) and you enter a relationship with someone just like you. The both of you will wake up one day to regret deciding on entering into that relationship, why? Because it is not as you envisioned it to be, and that is because you envisioned it wrongly because you didn’t prepare yourselves for the responsibility that comes with being in a relationship. As much as you what to mingle try to know what you want out of it (relationship), know yourself, and work on yourself by having a relationship with God first and then with yourself.

 

Èmí Ògá - The Spirit of the Boss

Who is the boss?

What is wrong with his spirit?

What exactly does the term “emi oga” mean?

These and many more are the questions we will be discussing today. 

What is “Emi Oga”?

If you are Nigerian and you are reading this post, you probably have heard people say ‘emi oga’ but in case you are not Nigerian or you are Nigerian but you don’t have a clue as to what emi oga is, I am here for you today. Before I started writing on this topic I asked some people if they know what “emi oga” means and what comes to their mind when they hear some people call themselves ”emi oga”. Some had an idea of what it meant, while some didn’t. Some have a healthy view of the origin and meaning of the saying  “emi oga”, some dislike the idea of people calling themselves “emi oga” while some don’t even care. Some thought only some certain kind of females call themselves “emi oga”. But I am here 

today to tell you what my view on “emi oga” is and should be (to the children of God here striving to have a godly relationship and a godly marital life).

In its literal form, “emi oga” means the spirit of the boss. This is a term used commonly by young ladies (in a relationship or situationship) and women in Nigeria, and just the way any other term can be misused- “Emi Oga” has also gotten into the hands and mouths of those that abuse its true meaning. At the inception of the relationship between Adam and Eve, God never planned for Eve to be a liability to her husband rather, God created them to live together, to be fruitful and multiply which means they both had a role to play and no one was created to be a servant to the other. 

This is to let us know that a true relationship is not meant to be a host-pest kind of thing. But for the people that misuse the term ”emi Oga”, this is what they mean: all they need to do is to sit down and be taken care of by their husband or partner. Someone who spends her husband’s money without working for her own money.

 

Why Do Some Ladies Have This Kind of Mentality in a Relationship? (The Wrong Perspective of Emi Oga)

If we say it is because they are women and it is what ladies are capable of, or because they are lazy, we will only be scratching the surface of the matter. Honestly, the only reason why someone will wake up to decide that they just want to be in a relationship with a rich man or get married to a wealthy man that will get them all their needs is just that they have failed to understand themselves,(THEY LACK THE KNOWLEDGE OF SELF). A lady that has taken time to study herself and understand her purpose for being on earth will not want to sit on a spot and be taken care of. Rather, she will look for ways to improve herself and let others do the same by carrying out assignments per time. A woman that has a true sense of self will know what is required of her and go for it at every point in time. Even when this woman is a full housewife, she still knows her duties and contributes to the house. She is industrious and knows how to take good care of her family.  She is a forward-thinking female, a future-thinking female. This woman can do all these because she understands herself.

A lady that does not understand herself will not be able to make use of her potentials to evolve into her best self. She will be dearly interested in just passing each day without stress while she spends her partners' money and receives surprises. Another common claim that some ladies have for doing this is that “their partner loves them enough to take care of them and that he is not complaining”. As women and young ladies, we should understand that men have egos and they don’t like to be perceived as weak or incapable, they also love to see the one they love to enjoy and not suffer- so they will not complain.

Hey love, it's another day of this precious journey of ours. A big thank you for always giving me the chance to come and discuss hot boiling relationship topics with you. I hope you had a good night's rest?

Yesterday was so fun and as usual, thank you for making effort to know what èmí ògá is all about as well as peoples perceptions of "Èmí ògá". Today, we will be looking into what the whole èmí ògá thing is supposed to be like. So sit back, grab your drinks and snacks and ride with me.

What Should Emi Oga Be Like?

When you say you love your partner, the person may be “Emi Oga” to you because the person plays an important role in your life and you do the same for the person. Your partner can be “Emi Oga” to you because they have helped you become more and supported your dreams. The term “Emi Oga” is not supposed to be used in a relationship where only the man is working, doing all the caring for, and providing the needs of the wife. In a healthy relationship, the wife/ female partner is also supposed to play a supportive role, take care of her partner, buy him things, surprise him with gifts. When God saw the need for Adam to have someone like him, He created Eve to be his “helpmate”, “a suitable companion” not a liability to her husband. Ladies should strive to be creative and innovative in all they do. Even a full housewife can do something aside from being a full-time mom. This is not for herself alone but her children, because by doing this she is teaching them to become more and do more.

Dear woman and young lady, try to create a life and environment where your partner can be free to also call himself “Emi Oga”. Doing this makes your partner feel loved and respected, in turn, he gives you all the love you need and respects you for who you are. Doing this also increases your worth because you contribute significantly to your family and society. Looking at it well, giving your partner a chance to be “Emi Oga” is giving yourself a lot more chances to be “Emi Oga”. It is a win-win.

Thank you for choosing to be more and not just a piece of furniture whose work is to beautify the house and nothing more. I hope that with this discussion of ours, you now understand what it truly means to be “Emi Oga”. I cannot wait to hear your feedback. Till tomorrow, know that I love you and that love is beautiful so let us nurture it together.

10 Ways to Love Yourself (Self-Love) in 2024

It is possible to make your friends, family, and spouse happy and show them, love, without you knowing how to love yourself. You most times feel like you are slaving for them. One thing you need to know is that true love comes from within and it can never be faked.

Self-love is a lot of things but not Selfishness. 

What is Self-love?

Self-love is a way of respecting yourself, appreciating yourself, and caring for yourself by doing things that will enhance your well-being. These things may be your physical habits, spiritual habits, social and work ethics but they must be done to enhance your inner peace.

It is when you do things that give you that inner peace and joy. When you self-love, you seldom act from a place of anger when you are with other people be it, friends or family and you can radiate this energy to everyone around you.

What is Selfishness?

Selfishness is being concerned excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one’s advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

From the above definitions, we can see that self-love is positive while selfishness is negative. So, let no one tell you that you are selfish when you are only trying to self-love. In case you are wondering why we are bringing this topic up again, it is because you cannot truly love others when you haven’t learned how to love yourself.

Love your neighbor as yourself is what the scriptures say in Matthew 22:37-39. There is no way you would love others if you haven’t loved yourself. When you have learned to love yourself, you make loving your partner easy because you will be able to communicate your needs to him or her.

Here are 10 ways you can choose to self-love.

1. Have a Daily Me Time

Why should we even call it Self-Love if you will not create time for yourself? You are a living entity in this noisy world, it is only very important to spend some time with yourself, every day to stay out of the noise and just be. Try this and you will feel the calmness within you.

2. Have a Great Morning Routine

It is often said that the way you spend the first 2 hours after waking up sets the tone of your day. A great morning routine that includes some of your best activities (maybe journaling, reading, exercising, praying) will help set a good tone for your day.

3. Exercise

Another form of self-love is exercising. Doing the right exercises for your body helps to keep you in good shape which in turn builds your confidence.

4. Affirmations

There is power in your tongue. Have you seen people who are big fans of self-love? They are those that affirm themselves, they constantly speak and write down the type of future they desire for themselves.

5. Volunteering

Volunteering is a way to render your help and time for the betterment of a cause, some people/ community. Being able to volunteer for different organizations helps you feel significant and useful to yourself and your community.

6. Giving: This is just like volunteering, but this has to do with more of letting go of the things you have that you know you have not been using or will be of use to others. Doing this in all sincerity will not only give you joy but also serves as a way of self-loving.

7. Eating a Balanced Diet

What goes into your body has the ability to determine how you feel. Eating a balanced diet which is not necessarily something extravagant will be a sure way to self-love.

8. Respond to people in a positive way

The way you relate with the people around you has a lot of effect of you. If someone offends you, the way you respond or react to the person will also have an adverse effect on your mood. Choosing to respond positively irrespective of the action of people towards you is one of the best ways to self-love.

9. Pray: No matter your religion, you can show yourself love by spending time to the God you believe in. Prayer has a way of strengthening and building confidence in you. Making prayer a conscious and unconscious way of life is very important as it not only gives you a certain level of confidence but it brings peace that helps you to love yourself and and everyone around you.

  

10. Have Fun

Some of us get soo busy that we run throughout the year without taking timeout to have fun, spend time alone and with loved ones. A very good decision you can make today is to self-love by taking time off work and other tasking activities and spend time with your friends, family and loved ones.

You Only Live Once, So Live. YOLO

Conclusion

With all these been said, take note that a person who does not see a need to celebrate his small wins will find it hard to do that for others because he will see it as not important. Someone who does not have personal values will see no reason to love others by respecting their values.

Be true to yourself by showing yourself love and learning how to love yourself before starting a relationship so that you can make things easier for yourself and your partner.

Today, choose to love yourself without guilt.

How to Handle Breakup Scares

 

It is very true that not everything will end up in tears. Sometimes you will excellently come out of that situation unhurt and in cases where you are scathed, you will definitely heal and progress for the best. For us, we have had people say it to our face that they are waiting patiently for the day we would break up in our relationship. When we started out, it looked much more of a scare for us and we didn't know how best to handle it. But the thing is this, you really do not need to pick a fight with anyone nor do you need to prove any point to anyone. You don't need to convince them that your relationship will not fail. You only need to be comfortable with God's word in your relationship because that is what matters in the end. This is one of many reasons why it is advised to know God first hand before going into a relationship. In our article on Dating God, we explained the need to know God first before knowing your partner.

While it is enough for you to know God, you must also assure yourself that God is with you in your relationship. Assure yourself that God does not fail and that your relationship will be a success. He definitely wants the very best for you and your partner just as He has declared in His word in Jeremiah 29:11

You also need to determine to make the relationship work. There is a position of collective work in every relationship. Just as Paul writes in 1st Corinthians 3:6, there is a need for individual efforts alongside God's grace to hold a relationship together. Your relationship is a product of your efforts to sustain it and should turn deaf ears against any form negativity. When partners put in this determination to make their relationship work, they can fight any breakup scares together.

There is also a need to sew your garment where it's torn. In every relationship, you gradually get to know certain basic things about your partner and can tell whether or not it is sufficient to cause a break up in your relationship. When you find out these loopholes, you can call your partner's attention to it and ensure that they work on these tears in the relationship.

With all of these, we still assure ourselves that God's word stands at all times. His word spoke life to our relationship and only His word can turn off that life. It is also true that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, but at the same time it is only a successful relationship that can yield into marriage. Put all hands on deck and shut out every form of negativity and you will not experience a breakup.